Page 31 | "boomer" thread

Maireas · 2023-08-28T19:29:53+00:00

You've hidden this evening's offensive, ageist thread, stereotyping "boomers". Will this be deleted? Can we have a robust response to ageism on MN?

traytablestowed · 30/08/2023 20:06

@Insommmmnia I'm very sorry for your loss.

I'm not actually proposing that this happen. It was one thing I mentioned which could be debated as a potential way of mitigating the current housing crisis, which I then expanded on because I was pushed to. It was deliberately taken out of context, presumably to undermine my ultimate point that wanting to discuss current housing inequality is not necessarily coming from a place of ageism.

@Maireas it would apply to everyone, apart from anything else it would be discriminatory and therefore illegal to only apply it to certain demographics. As it happens, it's a moot point because, as illustrated by @Insommmmnia's post, there are a great deal of other issues that a policy such as this would throw up.

user76541055773 · 30/08/2023 20:07

It would be an extension of the bedroom tax really, wouldn’t it? And that worked so well 😏

endofthelinefinally · 30/08/2023 20:17

My parents would have managed very well with a live in carer for whom they would have paid. They couldn't have one though, because they had downsized and didn't have a separate bathroom and bedroom available.
They didn't get particularly good care in the home they went into, which cost over £1K a week each, because self funders subsidise the state funded residents.
It is 7 years since my son died and I am still grieving and can't bear to get rid of all his things. My other children have left home and I have a young lodger who would otherwise be homeless. I charge them well below market rent because I want to give them a chance to get on their feet. Their contribution helps with the bills.
I find the ageism on MN depressing.

CaptainMyCaptain · 30/08/2023 20:30

We intend to downsize somewhat in the next few years but would expect the full market price to buy another home and pay for possible care in older age. I would also want a spare room for visitors and, potentially, a carer. I don't think this is unreasonable in any way. I don't want a second home and wouldn't even rent a holiday cottage for a week as I feel strongly about young people bring priced out of a home in this way.

Original poster

Maireas · 30/08/2023 20:45

I'm sorry for your loss, @endofthelinefinally . I'm sure that your lodger appreciates finding somewhere with a reasonable rent.

OP posts:

Starchipenterprise · 30/08/2023 20:58

I've already reported a number of posts with ageist comments about Boomers. MN should not allow these at all and immediately delete all of these threads and posts.

6BedsOneAcre · 30/08/2023 21:14

TheLongGloriesOfTheWinterMoon · 30/08/2023 18:44

Maybe the kind of people saying that this kind of thing should perhaps be explored...

"providing incentives and/penalties to encourage people to downsize or upsize or move location"

And yes, it's not your whole quote. But neither is it taken out of context.

What penalties would you propose for those refusing to downsize in your Brave New World?

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Exactly, more than one person has pointed the finger at those in bigger houses. Assuming the running costs for our home are manageable what incentives are there for moving out into a 1K+ (Even today that doesn't buy you luxury or even odour free air) a month nursing home or residential home which will go up year on year. There is currently a shortage of affordable homes for young people and that is already the situation for decent nursing /residential homes and assisted living facilities. Think what that is going to be like in 15 years?

6BedsOneAcre · 30/08/2023 21:18

endofthelinefinally · 30/08/2023 20:17

My parents would have managed very well with a live in carer for whom they would have paid. They couldn't have one though, because they had downsized and didn't have a separate bathroom and bedroom available.
They didn't get particularly good care in the home they went into, which cost over £1K a week each, because self funders subsidise the state funded residents.
It is 7 years since my son died and I am still grieving and can't bear to get rid of all his things. My other children have left home and I have a young lodger who would otherwise be homeless. I charge them well below market rent because I want to give them a chance to get on their feet. Their contribution helps with the bills.
I find the ageism on MN depressing.

Sorry for your loss what you are doing is a much better way of paying it forward.

Sorry too that your parents didn't get great care. The care /living options for the elderly are depressing and very expensive.

BellaBellla · 30/08/2023 22:05

Made this comment in another thread of 'boomer bashing'. It's all very well suggesting older people should downsize but the practicalities just don't make it viable. A lot of elderly people can't just up-sticks and move from the house they spent their whole life working to pay for, the home they made years of memories in. There's too many variables working against them - infirmity or physical incapacity for a start, how would a move work in practice if they don't have help? And all the paperwork, dealing with solicitors? Too overwhelming especially if they live alone. And then there's the potential loneliness and the mental impact of leaving community, neighbours and familiar shops and surroundings as well as the memories they've made in that home. It would finish off a lot of them - ideal scenario for some people on here I suppose. It's heartbreaking hearing so many on here demanding older people should downsize and make way for others supposedly more deserving, it's disgusting.

@endofthelinefinally Sorry for the loss of your son, that sounds so tough. You sound very caring and I hope your lodger is good company for you.

TheAverageJoanne · 30/08/2023 22:19

Starchipenterprise · 30/08/2023 20:58

I've already reported a number of posts with ageist comments about Boomers. MN should not allow these at all and immediately delete all of these threads and posts.

They don't give a fig.

IClaudine · 30/08/2023 22:27

TheAverageJoanne · 30/08/2023 22:19

They don't give a fig.

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They really don't. Although I think Slug might have been banned. I do hope so.

user76541055773 · 30/08/2023 22:35

BellaBellla · 30/08/2023 22:05

Made this comment in another thread of 'boomer bashing'. It's all very well suggesting older people should downsize but the practicalities just don't make it viable. A lot of elderly people can't just up-sticks and move from the house they spent their whole life working to pay for, the home they made years of memories in. There's too many variables working against them - infirmity or physical incapacity for a start, how would a move work in practice if they don't have help? And all the paperwork, dealing with solicitors? Too overwhelming especially if they live alone. And then there's the potential loneliness and the mental impact of leaving community, neighbours and familiar shops and surroundings as well as the memories they've made in that home. It would finish off a lot of them - ideal scenario for some people on here I suppose. It's heartbreaking hearing so many on here demanding older people should downsize and make way for others supposedly more deserving, it's disgusting.

@endofthelinefinally Sorry for the loss of your son, that sounds so tough. You sound very caring and I hope your lodger is good company for you.

I completely agree. We’ve been advised for a very elderly friend that, although on the face of it she’d be better in supported living, it would probably hasten her end so shouldn’t be encouraged unless it is something she really wants.

user76541055773 · 30/08/2023 22:38

(BTW - to give @MNHQ their due, they were very quick to remove a “boomer” post I reported on the “lucky you don’t have a mortgage” thread just now)

IClaudine · 30/08/2023 23:10

user76541055773 · 30/08/2023 22:38

(BTW - to give @MNHQ their due, they were very quick to remove a “boomer” post I reported on the “lucky you don’t have a mortgage” thread just now)

I decided not to look at that thread, to save my blood pressure!

sunglassesonthetable · 30/08/2023 23:25

Although I think Slug might have been banned. I do hope so.

@IClaudine

wha makes you say that?

IClaudine · 30/08/2023 23:37

sunglassesonthetable · 30/08/2023 23:25

Although I think Slug might have been banned. I do hope so.

@IClaudine

wha makes you say that?

MNHQ said "Please be assured we're taking the necessary action behind the scenes" when I reported one of Slug's more virulent posts.

IClaudine · 30/08/2023 23:38

Hope I don't get into trouble for sharing that!

vodkaredbullgirl · 30/08/2023 23:39

Well they are still on here, not banned.

IClaudine · 30/08/2023 23:47

Oh, OK. I thought as they had not been back on this thread they might have been zapped. Never mind!

IClaudine · 30/08/2023 23:48

Wishful thinking on my part.

TheLongGloriesOfTheWinterMoon · 31/08/2023 00:19

vodkaredbullgirl · 30/08/2023 23:39

Well they are still on here, not banned.

Not posted anywhere under that name since 6am yesterday though. After having lots of personal attacks zapped.
What makes you think they've not been banned?
It's certainly (pleasantly) unlike them to be so quiet.
Maybe they're using one of their other usernames I suppose.

C8H10N4O2 · 31/08/2023 08:08

C8H10N4O2 · 30/08/2023 09:48

@YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet @MNHQ

If we can put to one side for the moment the attempt to divert the thread with thousands of words of regurgitated press releases and focus on the subject of the thread - ageism and is it allowed on MN?

I and others have highlighted examples of ageism where we reported and no action was taken. I've had the same experience on other "isms" in the past where racism, abelism etc were left standing "to be robustly rebutted on the thread" ie leave it to the targets of the comments to justify why we are sick of racism/otherism

I've robustly rebutted racism and abelism on threads and then been deleted because we should 'report the post'.

So which is it? Do we report bigotry and rely on the random roulette wheel of moderation or do we robustly rebut on the thread and get deleted and possibly banned?

@YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet @MNHQ

Could someone please comment on my post from yesterday regarding guidance on challenging "isms" on thread.

On this thread we are being told that ageism should be challenged on thread. On others we have been told not to do this and to report instead. Like others, I've had posts deleted for challenging egregious "isms" and told to report instead.

So which is it?

Also disappointed to see HQ, with all the demographic research available to marketing companies, perpetuating the "rich boomer" trope when you must know that this generalisation masks a huge issue of poverty in older women and wealth in some younger generations. That is the kind of claim I'd expect on mens' rights sites, not a site which is women centred.

thanks.

IClaudine · 31/08/2023 08:23

I agree @C8H10N4O2 with everything you say.

As for challenging ageism on threads, why should it be down to us to do this? MNHQ has said similar about ableism too. I guess some -isms are less important than others. MNHQ don't seem to mind migrant bashing and benefit bashing either.

They say people get more right wing as they age (another stereotype). Maybe that's what is happening to Mumsnet. Maybe it should change its name to Mailnet. 🤭

TheLongGloriesOfTheWinterMoon · 31/08/2023 08:53

C8H10N4O2 · 31/08/2023 08:08

@YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet @MNHQ

Could someone please comment on my post from yesterday regarding guidance on challenging "isms" on thread.

On this thread we are being told that ageism should be challenged on thread. On others we have been told not to do this and to report instead. Like others, I've had posts deleted for challenging egregious "isms" and told to report instead.

So which is it?

Also disappointed to see HQ, with all the demographic research available to marketing companies, perpetuating the "rich boomer" trope when you must know that this generalisation masks a huge issue of poverty in older women and wealth in some younger generations. That is the kind of claim I'd expect on mens' rights sites, not a site which is women centred.

thanks.

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Well said.

Insommmmnia · 31/08/2023 08:55

C8H10N4O2 · 31/08/2023 08:08

@YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet @MNHQ

Could someone please comment on my post from yesterday regarding guidance on challenging "isms" on thread.

On this thread we are being told that ageism should be challenged on thread. On others we have been told not to do this and to report instead. Like others, I've had posts deleted for challenging egregious "isms" and told to report instead.

So which is it?

Also disappointed to see HQ, with all the demographic research available to marketing companies, perpetuating the "rich boomer" trope when you must know that this generalisation masks a huge issue of poverty in older women and wealth in some younger generations. That is the kind of claim I'd expect on mens' rights sites, not a site which is women centred.

thanks.

Show quote history

The other issue when MN refuse to delete posts with isms is that the posters quite often take the fact that their post wasn't deleted as validation that they didn't say anything wrong. This then renders any challenge useless on the thread