Seriously Mumsnet- this is your advice to new Mums!

[Springintoabetterlife]

Just had a baby? Feel like you’ve lost yourself and you’re not good enough? Buy a sex toy. [my words]

Can you not start to understand the pressure you are putting on new Mum’s with this?

This is shocking. New mums really don't need to have sex toys recommended to them as a method of re-connecting with themselves after having a baby. I really can't find the words to say how abhorrent I find this. Sex is the last thing on most people's minds after giving birth. This is nothing more than a shameless money making exercise. Please don't pretend that you have the best interests of mums at heart.
Hubris is a dangerous thing. I've been on other forums that have simply collapsed when the wants and needs of the reader base have not been valued or respected.

Exactly, she'll be sleep deprived, sore, exhausted, probably judging herself for lots of things and here you go, 'something else not doing/feeling right' and when it's being pushed from what she'll see as a trusting source?

It really does undermine the authority and trustworthiness of the entire MN brand. Why would a new mum value and trust a MN recommended baby monitor or cot or sippy cup when the same site is pushing her to buy sex toys just after giving birth?

I don't speak up with MN stuff usually as I'm pretty laidback but this has shocked me.
It feels like a man pressurising his partner for sex when the last thing she feels is sexual. I don't come here to see that.. this was a safe place for WOMEN. Disgusting!
And I love sex btw.

The reality is most mums are too scared to go for a shit incase they rip their stitches ... so the last thing they'll be thinking of is sex, let alone a vibrator. I have to agree with other posters (and I would say most mums worldwide), to wonder what were you thinking, it seems the most mis-matched thing I've ever seen. I think it was on a similar thread a few weeks ago, what next glasses for the blind.
Shame on you. Shame on you.

Uuuh, did a man choose this ad? I can't believe a woman who has ever given birth would think "I know what women need after having their bodies ripped in half! A vibrating object right near the sorest most sensitive part of their body! Because being available for sex again as soon as humanly possible is definitely the most important thing you can do after creating a life!"

The advice I wanted for"reconnecting with myself" as a new mum was that it was important to make sure I did get a break and to spend the time however I wanted. Reading a book, scrolling mindlessly, chatting to a friend, a trip to the hairdresser's...

My sex drive naturally resumed once my body had healed and I was getting regular and predictable time to myself and a decent night's sleep.

Oh yes, I can certainly relate to that. Ouch.

A very misguided ad campaign.

Agree, a terrible message for vulnerable new mothers. V inappropriate

Wow @MNHQ….
You’ve dropped the ball badly in that one.

I have to say I’m wondering how you thought people would read that tbh….

Honestly I don't think they care, it's just ££££. Feel sorry for the staff who don't make these decisions but have to defend them.

What Mumsnet's got to lose if the sex board stays in Active with its ads? They will keep giving us this half baked 'we're looking into it' bollocks till we get tired and hide it because after all money is more important to them than to listen to their main audience. In other words 'shut up women'!

I think the hundreds of thousands of pounds a year have gone to peoples heads a bit! Clearly revenue is what actually matters...

Nasty. I agree with @BIWI, between this and the sex chat/pester function let’s just call it Mansnet and get it over and done with!

What they have to lose is their USP, in being a site that is a) predominantly women and b) trusted by women.

This is how they make their money.

As soon as they start pandering to and prioritising men, this just becomes one of the 99% of websites that is dominated by and caters to men.

And advertisers who want to reach actual women, who will pay actual money for actual products, are going to look elsewhere.

Another voice adding to this view. Disgusting advertising from MN. Add to that the modibodi advertising, and the normalising of urine incontinence with 'use protection rather than seek medical advice because it's all so normal'. So many of the threads running on active currently are 'promoted by mn' threads. Get rid of them please.

They won’t change it. It’s a nice way to present something as being for mothers, but make it clear that we can’t choose the things we want, so it’s not really for us at all.

Vulvahavers.net.

It's what the original ad for Shrek's ear called us - vulva havers. Women complained and they changed the wording but not the overall message which is frankly stupid if not dangerous.

The company that makes the dildo is run by young people in Singapore. I would suggest none of them have given birth (although they're not all men).

I'm not sure why Mumsnet thought this would be a good idea. It certainly seems to have got a lot of their users' backs up.

Adding my weight to the chorus here.

This is patronising bollocks and spectacularly badly judged. It needs to go now before women lose trust in this site, which should actually be a fairly safe place for them at a vulnerable stage in their lives.

I gave birth three times and two were very traumatic. Whoever thinks that the antidote to that is a vibrator or other sex toy is a muppet (and I'm putting it politely there). I could barely even sit down comfortably for months, so anyone approaching me about any such thing would have been given very short shrift indeed.

Get rid of this. It is insulting.