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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Seriously Mumsnet- this is your advice to new Mums!

68 replies

Springintoabetterlife · 22/02/2023 11:18

Just had a baby? Feel like you’ve lost yourself and you’re not good enough? Buy a sex toy. [my words]

Can you not start to understand the pressure you are putting on new Mum’s with this?

Seriously Mumsnet- this is your advice to new Mums!
OP posts:
kittensinthekitchen · 22/02/2023 11:31

Not to mention the deceptiveness of not marking it as NSFW.

MNHQ
HebeMumsnet · 22/02/2023 11:43

Hi there, @Springintoabetterlife . Thanks for getting in touch.

We're sorry to hear you've been upset by the wording used there. This certainly wasn't how we had hoped it would be read and the last thing we'd ever want to do is put pressure on new parents.

We will make sure your thoughts about this are passed on.

redspottedmug · 22/02/2023 12:30

While you're here @HebeMumsnet , is there any update on taking the SEX topic back out of Active? Because it was put there to promote this unwanted sex toy product????

So many threads about it but no action? Come on...

AnonymousHippopotamus · 22/02/2023 19:51

How come you're managing to reply (quite rightly) to these concerns, yet radio silence on the threads about the sex forum @HebeMumsnet ?

bakewellbride · 22/02/2023 20:07

What a ridiculous ad! When you have a young baby 'reconnecting with yourself'= sleeping.

MNHQ
HopeMumsnet · 23/02/2023 06:56

Hi all,
Discussion is ongoing about this sex topic business, sorry, we'll get back to you when we know what the plan is. And yes re sleep, no doubt about that. We are passing on your thoughts.

My2pence2day · 23/02/2023 06:59

Pretty disgraceful 😕

wherethewaterisdarker · 23/02/2023 07:04

Hahaha at the idea I would have wanted to put a sex toy anywhere near my extremely sore vagina soon after birth!

twilightcafe · 23/02/2023 07:34

YANBU!
It's so tacky and inappropriate.

The last thing on earth I'd have wanted with a newborn was a 'new toy'.

shopmyfeelings · 23/02/2023 07:36

There's been thread after thread about the sex topic and it's very clear from this that Mumsnet is not listening to members here because if they were they'd have acted by now.

If this really is about promoting products then that's disgusting.

TinyCactusInAPot · 23/02/2023 07:37

I also thought it was tone deaf

Looks like a marketing campaign thought up by 20-something ad men with no clue… and MN went along with it!

Amarchhare · 23/02/2023 07:40

@HebeMumsnet and @HopeMumsnet sorry … but these are my feelings too. It’s hard enough getting through the last couple of months of pregnancy, then adapting to the needs of a newborn when you’ve given birth or had a section.

I realise that MN personally did not write the above, but by having it here it is a form of pressure that thinking about and wanting to have sex is something we ‘should’ be thinking of, and while I don’t want to speak for all women, I really don’t think this is the case.

FrancescaContini · 23/02/2023 07:52

I wonder if any of the @HopeMumsnet et al team have actually ever given birth.

SweetSakura · 23/02/2023 07:54

I completely agree.
New mums are healing, physically and mentally. They shouldn't feel there is something "wrong" that needs fixing if they don't feel like sex or intimacy.

StalkedByASpider · 23/02/2023 07:55

In fairness, and without wanting to pile on, there's quite a few of the ads on MN which are not appropriate or just misogynistic. I don't think that they're well chosen, in general. Maybe someone could have a look at the wider MN policy on advertising on this site - because it's not hitting the mark for lots of women....and this is another example.

Nimbostratus100 · 23/02/2023 07:58

I s was quite upset by this "getting back in touch with yourself as new mum" titel too, because I was looking for maybe a pampering kit or something for a friend, but I would never have knowingly clicked on a thread about a sex toy, and now hate the adverts that pop up on my screen

BiologicalKitty · 23/02/2023 07:58

Hmmm.... "parents" and "people with wombs" ... on a site called Mumsnet.

Anyone want to take bets on when they change the site name, and what to?

00100001 · 23/02/2023 08:01

Definitely agree that this isn't a problem that needs solving!!

00100001 · 23/02/2023 08:02

BiologicalKitty · 23/02/2023 07:58

Hmmm.... "parents" and "people with wombs" ... on a site called Mumsnet.

Anyone want to take bets on when they change the site name, and what to?

PersonsNet

HereForTheFreeLunch · 23/02/2023 08:04

HopeMumsnet · 23/02/2023 06:56

Hi all,
Discussion is ongoing about this sex topic business, sorry, we'll get back to you when we know what the plan is. And yes re sleep, no doubt about that. We are passing on your thoughts.

What they mean (I think) is that the lawyers are discussing it. Ann Summers probably paid a shed load of money for the sex topic to move out of the closet. Can't just put it right back then.
Disclaimer - Pure speculation on my part. There may be not even a tiny grain of truth in what I said above.

StalkedByASpider · 23/02/2023 08:06

BiologicalKitty · 23/02/2023 07:58

Hmmm.... "parents" and "people with wombs" ... on a site called Mumsnet.

Anyone want to take bets on when they change the site name, and what to?

MN very prominently advertise Modibodi - and that's a company that's extremely on board with gender woo. There was a big post a while back about how they were using male/men phraseology without a problem but when it came to girls and women it was "people who have periods" etc. Loads of MN challenged Modibodi but they were insistent about using inclusive language that made no reference to actual women, for women's products.

Irritates me every time I see an advert for Modibodi on here. Not least because it's a big bunch of women all having a slumber party in their underwear and looking out of windows half-dressed. It's just ridiculous and I would really have expected a site that's been created for women to do better.

SweetSakura · 23/02/2023 08:08

HereForTheFreeLunch · 23/02/2023 08:04

What they mean (I think) is that the lawyers are discussing it. Ann Summers probably paid a shed load of money for the sex topic to move out of the closet. Can't just put it right back then.
Disclaimer - Pure speculation on my part. There may be not even a tiny grain of truth in what I said above.

Show quote history

I think you are probably right. Because it otherwise why not just admit you messed up and change it back swiftly.

BooCrew · 23/02/2023 08:09

I also thought that ad was bloody ridiculous. Fair enough advertising sex toys if it makes you lots of money, but to link it to women who've just had a baby? Ick.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 23/02/2023 08:12

BooCrew · 23/02/2023 08:09

I also thought that ad was bloody ridiculous. Fair enough advertising sex toys if it makes you lots of money, but to link it to women who've just had a baby? Ick.

Definitely ick, it's just awful.

Bamboux · 23/02/2023 08:12

Telling new mums to spend money on sex toys undermines any claim that this site has to understanding or caring about women and mothers.

We all know that on free sites, we are the product and advertisers are the clients. But this is taking it so far that it actually devalues the core purpose of the site.

I presume the 'very complex behind the scenes conversations' will continue until the end date of the contract with Ann Summers.

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