Official Complaint to Mumsnet

[CoconutQueen]

Totally inappropriate enormous vibrator adverts now ALL over Mumnset.

What on earth are you thinking of? Is Mumsnet really that short of cash that they have to stoop this low?

Not to mention the ridiculous woke language ie "people with wombs".

Totally inappropriate on ALL levels.

Sounds like the vibratory equivalent of a feathery stroker.

Or “mummas” as they also term them on their Instagram. Vomit.

@ZeroFuchsGiven It's interesting that Justine uses the term women (as I would expect). I don't care about vibrator adverts given the frequent use of the word cunt on here but I care deeply about this language.

For those eye rolling that we are overreacting on this issue - It's the re-purposing and the dilution of the word "woman" that directly leads to a male rapist pretending to be one and gaining access to women's prisons - oh and applying to attend a self defence course for women who have been raped. Woman. It's an important word and we need to hang onto it, not give it away with a does it matter, be kind shrug.

The biggest barrier to post-childbirth sex for me was, in order of magnitude, (1) healing of wounds, (2) utter fatigue, (3) being overwhelmed by my new responsibilities. None of which will be helped by Shrek's ear.

There was no taboo over discussion of sex, in my experience. My GP talked about it openly with me, my mum and other female relatives had open discussions and advice, all the mums I met with babies the same age as mine talked openly about it. My husband and I discussed it. There was no bloody taboo! I'm really angry about these people trying to create the impression of a taboo where there is none.

‘Gentle stimulation of the vulva’ sounds well annoying.

The people who thought it might flog a few Shrek ears. I've been on the thread on site stuff to ask if MN will be as vigilant with trigger warnings in titles on that board as they are all the others.

People should definitely be able to use those boards for their intended purpose and all power to them.

But it seems deeply insulting to me that they would force people- without any consultation whatsoever- into seeing those topics in active just so they can crowbar in vibrator ad threads. Incredibly short sighted.

Yeah @justinemumsnet sure you said that, and a copywriter didn't write for you. Were you having an especially busy day when you OKd that strangulated wording? Endorsing what is clearly a confected marketing ploy, sitting - perfectly obviously - behind a transparent veneer of 'concern'.

but to also counter the outdated taboos and stereotypes that can lead to some women feeling embarrassed or ashamed about their sexual needs.

Would love to know what these are; why are they so coyly unspecified, is there some sort of taboo over mentioning them, MN? I'll caveat the following by saying that I have never given birth, but from reading these boards I have some idea about physical and mental post partum issues - and this seems to me another way of saying that 'yes, we know you are post partum and leaky and sore and sleep deprived and your OH is a lazy shit who does nothing but the MOST IMPORTANT thing is that you keep yourself sexy and tuned up and READY for when you can resume sex - and we have just the gadget!'

Outdated taboos like bullet pointing the features of a vibrator with a baby's bottle? Ick

Massive vibrator ad filled with the kind of dehumanising language we've been shouting about for years: 'anyone with a clitoris, 'people with vulvas', 'womb-havers'. On Mumsnet. Jesus fucking christ.

The wording is perfectly fine, it's inclusive and those offended really do need to get a grip.

-non binary person with a womb.

That’s why we’re glad to have been able to work with Smile Makers to create the first vibrator designed specifically for mothers

Does it self-combust if non-mothers use it?

Intern, is that you?

Two sugars in mine, please.

-non binary person with a womb.

That's a woman.

You are free to reject womanhood if that's what feels most comfortable for you but you do not have permission to erase the language of my reality.

You appear to want acceptance for your own position but are incredibly, rudely dismissive about the way women feel.

Sorry to disappoint.

I do agree the toy looks like one of those air freshener wotsits though.

I wonder if that was on purpose? Designed for mums, so if it happens to be left on a mantelpiece, grandma might just think it's a Shrek based air freshener?

😬

19 pages of posters saying 'WTF, mumsnet.'

One person popping up saying 'perfectly OK, you're the one with the problem, posters.'

I do love a good frother.

"The wording is perfectly fine, it's inclusive and those offended really do need to get a grip.

-non binary person with a womb"

@discobrain do you believe Ilsa Bryson is a woman? Genuine question (with a yes or no answer)

Mumsnet are tagged in the brand's Instagram post using baby bottles as bullet points about the benefits of a vibrator.

Which means that the social team at Mumsnet saw the baby bottle bullet points in question and thought it was fine and on brand.

Grim.

You mean it's exclusionary, femphobic and misogynist. Only a misogynist incel would agree with the wording. Perhaps worry about telling those who wet their pants when people 'misgender' them to get a grip... They're the bed wetters who freak out when they're called by their own sex.

Btw there is no such thing as a 'non binary person'.
HTH.

@MrsDanversGlidesAgain exactly! I was half way though a long angry post about this earlier when my phone died, so thank you.

Puts me in mind of those creepy older men who tried to persuade teenage me that I just didn't really know what I was missing, declining to sleep with them, and they could show me, if only I would 'relax' about it. Bleurgh

Im happy with using the terms men and women. Anyone offended by that needs to get a grip…

Pain free exploration?

Generally by the time we've become mothers we've done a decent amount of fucking and masturbating already, thanks. Patronising wanknuggets.

Only women have wombs.