WOOOOOOOO! It's the Halloween Name Change Competition!

[YetAnotherBOOkyMumsnet]

As knees knock and fingers tremble
The spookiest Mumsnetters doth assemble
For it’s that time of year once more
Of ghosts and ghouls - monsters and gore
As legendary as the Mumsnet chicken
So terrifying it makes your breathing quicken
What is it!? we hear your stricken cries
What’s all this about a rubbish prize?
Can it be a scary premonition?
Why - it’s the Halloween Name Change Competition!

Welcome, you diabolical bunch, to the 2022 Halloween Name Change Competition! 👹

Enter by posting on this thread under your terrifying new name, which should be a clever play on your usual username.

You have until Monday 31st October to post on this thread with your name change (in your post, do remember to tell us what your usual, non-scary name is) and we'll then create a shortlist of the ten best ones which we’ll put to a vote at MNHQ. We’ll then announce the winner on Tuesday 1st November.

The winner will receive whatever we can find lurking in the back of the cupboard at MNHQ a surprise in the post!

Mine's a recent unrelated to halloween NC, does that count?

🧙🏻Normally Purplespup16 🎃

My usual Username, Boiledbeetle, is fairly horrible anyway but for Halloween I may as well add some bats in with my beetles.

Anyone for soup? The bats were caught yesterday.

No? No one? I can add some croutons if you like?

Oh well suit yourself. All the more for me.

Boiled x

I can’t do it, I can’t do it
I will likely give myself a fright
Knees knocking, it’s shocking
How I find myself feel so uptight
A name change to one strange
Will summon up my beast and she will come within range,
I can’t do it, I can’t do it tonight

I might do it, I might do it
As the fades and ghosties all appear
Its Samhain, all the wowin’
You’ll hear my inner spook draw near
Don’t doubt it, I’ll shout it
If the spooky bint crawls up then well you’ll have to clout it
I’ll do it but just for toniiiiight.

Well I did it, I did it
I’m hotter than the fires of hell
She’s appeared, I’m afeared
I’m sure you’ll tell just from the smell
I’m her host, first foremost
I feel like Mary from Ghosts and I smell just like toast
I’m damned.
And my name change is shiiiiiiiite.

Although I did toy with

Acreepyweebstardlivesinmywireless

It does. 👻

Sorry I was ArcaneWireless 👻

And I should add that my post was a homage to Victoria Wood/Barry and Freda. Not a rant. 🧟‍♀️

Brilliant

Forget the name change, you should win just for the song 🦇🎵🎶

I heard the tune in my head. With clanking and groaning and everything.

BloodyMabel is now bloodier

I was going to change it to the real murderer in the building but that would need a serious spoiler alert attached!

Usually Unananana

Changed from NippyWooWoo 👻

<Narrows eyes>

I hope those bats are well cooked. You remember what happened last time someone ate an undercooked bat!

Just marvellous 👏

Thanks, everyone - we hope you all had a spooktacular Halloween.

We'll be back later with the winner. <flaps off>

You forgot the Ghostess Trolley and WooOOOoooman's Weekly!

But otherwise

I done it I done it
I have made such a mess
I’m lacking, been slacking
I find myself in some distress
Some folly by golly
MacHaunts has wheeled right by me in her ghostess trolley
I bodged it, I bodged it today

She said it, she said it
“Important bits have been missed out”
pointed stare, intense glare
And a big three syringe sulky pout
I meekly, said weakly
You can punish me right now with your old Woooooooman’s weekly
I’m sorry, I’m sorry todaaaay.

(you nailed it Machaunts and are a genius!!) ⭐️ 😘

Well, if ProfaneWireless doesn't win now @YetAnotherBOOkyMumsnet , you need to be afraid, very afraid. <brandishes rolled up WoooOOOoooman's Weekly>

ArcaneWireless for the win please MNHQ.

Good god no flower! 🐑

My name change is indeed shite and there are some crackers on here that have tickled me!

I’m merely being a Gobshite. I don’t get out of my crypt often 😉

Properly laughing here at WoooOOOoooman's Weekly😆

WE HAVE A WINNER!

Congratulations from the bottom of our cauldrons to @squelchynethers!

And, of course, a special bonus prize for @ProfaneWireless for keeping our spooky spirits up throughout the thread.

We'll be in touch with you both SoOOOOoooOOOOOn.

Thanks again to everyone who took part.

YetAnotherBOOkyMumsnet Thank you! 😘

They won it they won it
The poster with the sodden pants
Feet dirlin’, they’re twirlin’
And doin’ a small victory dance
Glass raising, BOOKy praising,
The squelchynethers nameychange was just amazing
They’ve won it, they’ve won it toniiiiiight! 🥂
Congrats @squelchynethers 😁

You’ve won a towel and a dry pair of drawers 😉

🦇 🦇

Oh my word, I just wandered in to see who won 😱
Ide like to thank my Family and friends
My manager and agent
Most of all Ide like to thank the good people of a mumsnet
Who provide me with hours of entertainment and female companionship

Congratulations @squelchynethers and @ProfaneWireless
You were both spooktacular 👻👻👻🦇

Thank you Profane and likewise to your good self