The thread this morning about the person asking if some one could deliver them shopping that got deleted

[Byallmeans]

I wish you wouldn’t have deleted it @MNHQ.

I live in that area and I could have took some round and seen it they were ok, I actually replied that I could do this in the thread shortly before it got deleted.

It might have been a scam but it also might have been some one really struggling with no real life support. Not every one have family or neighbours they can ask.

You can’t just rock up to a food bank, there is a process you have to follow a process of getting one of a front line worker such as social worker, GP or citizen advice - all of which you have to book an appointment with which can take days/weeks.

1 in 7 people that use food banks are in employment. Even our beloved NHS nurses are having to use them so maybe if the OP came on and said she was a SP nurse and tax credits had fucked her payments up she would have got a bit more sympathy rather than ‘Reported!!!’ And ‘You again!!’

There has been times when I was working and had to look down the back of the couch for change for bread. This shit really does happen. Luckily I had family to help out, the OP could have been completely isolated and unable to ask anyone else.

Did you block the OP or offer any kind of assistance?

This could have been a scam but it also could have been someone who was desperate and promptly got shut up.

One of the problems is that if you allow one thread like that to stand then the site gains a reputation for being a soft touch.

I am a member of a Facebook group where one member came on with a story about being a single dad needing to feed his kid. It turned out several different people had sent him money and then he turned up saying he needed more.

I agree redirecting the person needing help to a local resource is what is needed.

The person posted the same request twice, two mornings in a row. They ignored the advice on day 1 and were begging again on day 2.

OP I work at a foodbank and since March nearly all are self referral, with ours you go onto council website fill in a short form and you’ll get a call from one of us that day asking if you’re home for a delivery. There is so much help available now, we are a community response team and can do
your shopping, collect prescriptions etc, these are in a vast majority of areas.
As someone mentioned; if you can come in MN you can look for help too.

Anothe thing to note, the majority of foodbank users are now ppl who have lost jobs and have the long wait until UC arrives, ppl who were already on benefits before C19 haven’t had a change to their circumstances.

As an adult I can choose who I want to help and make decisions on what I can afford.

Yes and MN can choose what they want their site to be used for. They aren’t saying you can’t give money to whoever you like, they’re saying MN can’t be used as the platform for people to ask you.

The poster had started a thread with the exact same post in the days before. They were given loads of good advice on that first thread before it was deleted.

To come on MN a second time, in the early hours of the morning & start another thread with the exact same post as the first suggested scam to many of us.

Wouldn’t a genuine poster have started the second post with something akin to please don’t delete MN as I am still short of food and need more ideas? or I have x,y,z how can I feed myself/child til Friday or how do I access/I’m having problems accessing food banks in x city - any suggestions?

But they didn’t. They asked for someone to pay for an online shop. Not a loaf, a pint of milk & some ham/beans/cheese/soup. An online shop - why not specify the small amount of food you need if genuine?

So I don’t regret reporting, I have helped out those in genuine need and frankly scammers reduce people’s ability and desire to help out anyone.

MN is a great source of help and support, freely given. There is nearly always a way to help without physically giving someone something - money/food/lifts/belongings

If you really, really think that there is no other way then message MN and they’ll probably be able to tell you several ways and offer your money or goods.

If an OP is making all efforts to follow advice on how to access real life help, that will 99% of the time help them access rl help and if there is a time in the future they need help they will be equipped to access it again - or help others too - so spreading the knowledge.

All of which is, imo, better than several members pming OP and each buying an online shop/sending money/risking meeting random person in rl (who may not be who they say they are)

I’ve worked with vulnerable families in need for decades. One factor present in 99% of cases is their reluctance to accept material help from anyone.

Supporting someone to help themselves has a positive long-term effect that giving them food for free would never have. Giving them a pint of milk or a load of bread is a sticking plaster with no long-term benefit to their situation.

You are so gullible OP. That scammer would have been wearing your slippers and perusing your bank statements in no time!

@AlternativePerspective

The scam defenders are as bad as the scammers. IMO.

Anyone who says that they would rather be scammed is giving out the message that being cautious is selfish because what about that one in a million person who could be genuine.

It is naive to think that a stranger posting a begging thread on an anonymous website is legit. The chances that they aren’t are far, far higher than the chances that they are.

Let’s face it. If people make up stories about lost babies and pregnancies and affairs and domestic violence, then asking for a quid or two is small fry really.

They didn’t ask for any money - just food.

@draughtycatflap

You are so gullible OP. That scammer would have been wearing your slippers and perusing your bank statements in no time!

From me dropping a bag of food off

Ok

@AlternativePerspective

Was it you OP? Because you seem awfully keen to defend this individual.

If you’re so desperate to give to someone in your area then why not post a post on your local facebook page offering money to whoever wants it as long as they tell you they’re genuine?

In fact if they’re that desperate then they probably have posted on your local facebook page. Oh but wait, to do that they’d have to reveal their name....

I know - why don’t you report me and see!!

They didn’t ask for any money - just food. And you really think that when you got in touch they would give you the address and ask you to drop off the food for them? Really? No they would likely ask you for the money to pay for it, and even if they didn’t, they know that there are people who would assume that if they couldn’t afford to eat then they couldn’t afford other things, and would offer them money.

@AlternativePerspective

They didn’t ask for any money - just food. And you really think that when you got in touch they would give you the address and ask you to drop off the food for them? Really? No they would likely ask you for the money to pay for it, and even if they didn’t, they know that there are people who would assume that if they couldn’t afford to eat then they couldn’t afford other things, and would offer them money.

How do you know that? Have you got psychic abilities. Wow. Amazing.

I’m not coming back to the thread as it’s depressing as fuck that some one asked for food and they were met with such contempt and suspicion. No wonder people are afraid to ask for help.

People can ask for help. Mumsnet is a forum, not a food bank.

If you don’t like the rules, set up your own forum that connects people with others willing to help.

@Byallmeans

I’m not coming back to the thread as it’s depressing as fuck that some one asked for food and they were met with such contempt and suspicion. No wonder people are afraid to ask for help.

You obviously haven't been on here long OP. Stick around and you'll see what people are going on about as we approach Christmas.

The OP of that thread has posted more than once asking for food, they didn't want any other suggestions made. For the 1 who sends food there are 10 others who send money. Then we get swamped by sob stories.

Let it go and be thankful you didn't get conned. These people rarely get deleted without good reason.

Anyone been here long enough to remember TheWiltedRose? I think she brought about the origin of MN’s ‘warning message’ that we get now. That escalated from needing basic things to ever more extravagant requests - being paypalled money by users I believe - quite a mess.

Just wanted to add info about food banks - I’d hate anyone reading this thread to think they were difficult to access. I’m on the management committee of our local Trussel Trust foodbank. I’m not aware of a single council run foodbank either in our region or nationally (there are of course a host of independent food banks, but the Trussel Trust is the biggest organisation )

For a Trussel Trust food bank, clients are supposed to have a referral voucher but for example in our county, there are almost 70 different organisations who can issue vouchers. If a client rings us up, we can direct them to an organisation that can issue a voucher that same day. The Trussel Trust has been encouraging referral agencies to do E-referrals where clients can be emailed the referral voucher. This has grown massively for us locally over the pandemic and for those agencies/clients who can’t do this, we’ve brought in a system of telephone referrals ( obviously I don’t know if all Trussel Trust food banks do this).
While we certainly don’t encourage people to just turn up at the foodbank, if someone does, they are not turned away empty handed We would explain how to get a voucher but also given them a bag or two of essentials to get them through until they did.

The reason we are so keen on referrals is not to make the service hard to access. It’s because as well as fixing the immediate problem of hunger, we’re also a campaigning organisation trying to address the causes. So we want clients to be engaging with local charities/support organisations - and we also want all the data we collect on the referral form so we have reliable figures on the levels of need that we can use in campaigning.

Sorry - that is all a bit garbled

You are lovely @Byallmeans. I didn't see the original post. How awful that someone needing food, got their thread deleted instead. I suppose mumsnet hq may have seen many opportunists, unfortunately who's sole intention is to beg for money. Youd be surprised how many have privately messaged posters and sent money over. In their eyes, they're protecting people from being taken advantage of.

Op there are some very genuine people in the world that need help, walk around you'll see them, if you want to help volunteer where it matters help someone in your local community. Sadly there are plenty of unscrupulous people who prey on the goodwill of people like yourself. You wanted to do a good thing but the op wasn't being truthful hence why MNHQ deleted and banned.

@ TheWildRumpyPumpus oh god yes I remember her. And CVQ, and the MN Christmas thing was cancelled because there were too many opportunists.

And to the gullible thinking that MN would delete a thread of someone purely for asking for food, get real. People don’t need handouts from strangers to get help. We don’t have the kind of poverty in this country that people have no choice but to go begging from strangers on the internet. Not if they have access to the internet anyway.

@AlternativePerspective

Was it you OP? Because you seem awfully keen to defend this individual.

If you’re so desperate to give to someone in your area then why not post a post on your local facebook page offering money to whoever wants it as long as they tell you they’re genuine?

In fact if they’re that desperate then they probably have posted on your local facebook page. Oh but wait, to do that they’d have to reveal their name....

I too am wondering if the OP was the person who posted the deleted thread.

@ UnaMujer people who defend these scammers so aggressively make me suspicious. I’m not talking about people who just comment that “it could be genuine,” or “I might give something,” but people like the OP who become incredibly aggressive, start name calling etc as she did upthread. It was the same on the tour guide thread the other week, and it makes me think that either they, or someone they know, have made money that way.

@Byallmeans

I’m not coming back to the thread as it’s depressing as fuck that some one asked for food and they were met with such contempt and suspicion. No wonder people are afraid to ask for help.

People aren’t afraid to ask for help.

But people should rightly be prevented from asking strangers on the internet to place an online food order for them.

I can’t work out why you don’t understand that there are better, more sustainable ways to support vulnerable people than that.

Hi folks

Can we have a bit of peace and love, please?