pleasepleaseplease no one jumps on anyone and accuses them of lying or trolling for small and irrelevant detail changes that are obviously done to protect identity. No one cares whether your baby is a boy or a girl or whether you live in Derby or Leicester. I’m talking about the people who regularly rewrite history in order to paint themselves whiter than white in any given situation in order to manipulate posters and get the responses they want.
Sometimes it’s deliberate and calculating, other times it’s because they are frustratingly deluded and in denial about their own behaviour or mindset and how it repeatedly impacts on their relationships or personal situations. Either way, when something about a thread sets your radar beeping a bit of Advanced Searching can be very enlightening.
Sometimes posters come on here with sob stories and huge dramas involving bitch MILs or unreasonable DHs or not a penny in the bank to feed six kids and I think ‘hang on.....weren’t you the one who only last week said that blah blah blah? That situation doesn’t sit right with this situation so somewhere along the line you’ve not been entirely honest with us about the backstory to this.’
A made up example would be someone saying they’ve just paid 10k loan for a boob job/butt lift and then wailing because they are at risk of being evicted for huge rent arrears a week later.
I’ve lost count over the years of the posters who come back time and time again with the latest instalment of a long running drama that could have been solved if only they’ve listened to the advice they were given the first seven or eight times. New posters offer advice and sympathy in good faith without realising they are being sucked in by a self absorbed emotional vampire who does nothing to help themselves and instead just prefers to moan, attention seek and play the victim.
There are women who regularly paint their partners or their parents or their stepchild as completely unreasonable and emotionally abusive or whose employers/colleagues are bullies and whose landlord is the landlord from hell or whose child’s teacher is a cow or whatever, and it’s not unless/until you know the backstory you realise that actually, things aren’t quite as the OP would have us think and they need to be told a few home truths. I always think that’s far more helpful in the long run than twee platitudes and endless tea and sympathy.