AaaawOOOOOoooOOOOO - It's the Halloween Name Change Competition

[YetARRGHnotherBeckyMumsnet]

Gather round you coven of witches,
For the chance to win some Mumsnet riches,*
As it's that time of year once more,
When (plastic) ravens croak and monsters roar,
And the un-dead climb out from their tomb,
When the night takes on an eerie gloom,
Mumsnetters have but one ambition - to win the Halloween name change competition....

Welcome, you spooky lot, to the 2019 Halloween Name Change Competition.

Enter by posting on this thread under your terrifying new name, which should be a clever play on your usual username.

You have until Monday 28th October to post on this thread with your name change, and we'll then create a shortlist of the ten best ones.

You can then vote for your favourite, which we'll announce on Thursday 31st October. The winner will receive a bundle of goodies from the MNHQ cupboard of treats.

*tat

UPDATE The poll is now live so cast your vote nowooooooo!

I see Empress is still speechless.

I’m trying to work out how many islands you could buy with your prize.

Doesn't Empress want her share of the swag?

I mean what will she do???

We will float a large pasty.

Empress have you done the sum yet? How many?

I can’t se the prices on the website but I think a flotilla of cheese and onion bakes underpinning some pasties should do it.

Yes!! We can nibble as we float! This will work!

It's... it's not quite what i was picturing for our island home. Will there still be fish tanks? I suppose we could keep a fish in the mug...

I see the truffles have a hint of sea salt, so i suppose MN were trying to fulfil our dreams.

Yes at least we'll have plenty to eat! We'll keep Triangle in the mug and have the dogs and cats etc with us on the floatilla of pasties!

It's alright we've got everything we need! We've already got slankets!

We've got each other 😍😍😍

Yes TL we do! Love is all we need! (and snax)

I'd forgotten this thread, dunno how, I posted on the fucker, for fucking fuck's sake. I missed all the fun at the weekend

We nearly got two new Thisters, what happened to them, did one of you murder them because they were unwilling? You even offered to give them stick on willy willy nots. One of them was almost a willy herself. How did they get away?

They escaped Womble

We offered them a really good deal, but no, they knew best!

No common sense, some people, TL. We have so much to offer; they could even have their own moat at Cuntington castle. They didn't even have to give us their own organs, we're not fussy where they come from. You and Thigh did such a good job on my brain surgery for my migraine, too, you can hardly see the scars any more, you wield a mean Pritt stick. Not sure why there's one over my kidneys, too, though.

Oops, DT, not TL. Told you the brain surgery was top-notch 👍🏻

Well this is it Womble we throw in all kinds of fabulous surgery, and we have good skillz and great toolz for it. The serrated grapefruit spoon always works well to extract kidneys etc!

What does the voucher say read it to us! I can't see, I'm too teary, like holding a newborn.

It says 'Dear Dangly, I have been admiring you from afar and just wanted you to know I really love you and think you're so hot but have always been too shy to say so before! Hearts, flowers and snogs and feelz Thrustine xxxx

(Something like that anyways)

Well, I must admit I didn't feel a thing, DT. I'm sure the kidney was put to good use, even though I must have processed a lot of piss in it over 53 years. As long as it wasn't fed to Esben. He doesn't deserve such luxury.

Empress have you done the sum yet? How many?

I made it seven and a half.

Ok I think we can make that work! Let's start choosing them now then!

The RFFs will have the half. We’d be happy to share Themyscira with the Amazons.

Umm... now that I have seen the unbelievable fantasticness of the prize I might be reconsidering my level of involvement. Can I be 'circleofthigh' until the sea salt truffles run out?

Hmm, you want to be a fair-weather Thigh? All or nothing, Circle, all or nothing. We might consider waving the organ donation for you if you commit to the Thigh Way. Could you bribe tempt you with kicking Esben in the cock, or a dance with AJ?