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Original poster

Shocked at some MN responses

61 replies

Welshmum16 · 04/11/2018 08:06

I'll probably get shot down for this but I needed to say it,

I have only joined this site recently and have read a few threads now but I am shocked at how some users are treating others.

Some posts are just rude and not called for, surely if you have nothing constructive to say don't post a response.

I do think some posters need to read their post before pressing 'post'

You can still put you view across without being disrespectful, rude and abusive to the original poster.

OP posts:

Tahani · 04/11/2018 08:32

Welshmum16 I have reported a couple and they have been deleted.

Right, so.... what's the problem? post was reported and removed

As per previous posters, personal attacks are not allowed, troll hunting is not allowed (as could be personal attack)

Babdoc · 04/11/2018 08:32

Extremely nasty or goady posts are usually just trolls looking for a fight. You get them on all sites, not just MN. You can either ignore or report.
The vast majority of MNers are intelligent, thoughtful and well informed, often with specialist knowledge in professional fields such as law, medicine, social work, science, etc. They give tremendous emotional support and wise counsel to women going through some appalling crises such as domestic violence.
If you dislike the site, you are feee to leave. Or you can stay and participate in the free speech and robust discussion. Your call!

ZackPizzazz · 04/11/2018 08:34

I fucking love this nest of vipers. They tell me what I need to hear, and they get shit done. If I wanted lavender-scented smoke blown up my arse, I'd go back to Netmums.

FissionChips · 04/11/2018 08:37

Many users have been here for years, what the hell gives you the right to tell us how to post?!

YOU are the newbie, go to netmums if you want fluff and unicorns.

IntenseInterest · 04/11/2018 08:37

Have you wondered over from Netmums by mistake?

I am a former Netmummy, and since joining this site I haven’t been back there.

OP I do agree with you, there are some horrible human beings on this site.

Wauden · 04/11/2018 08:44

I have to say that I agree with Welshmum16 in that some people should not have been rude in the first place. I think that is the point and it is good to point it out.
I don't see a problem with pointing this out.
Welshmum16 : good for you to report such posts.

AuntieStella · 04/11/2018 08:48

Drat - I wrote and answer, and the iPad ate it:

It's the old paradigm of nrew poster telling all and sundry that they,re all bitches. This thread does crop up frequently.

The bottom line is that if you do not like the site, you'll naturally wander way from it and try out others until you ind one where you. do feel at home.

Or if you stay, you'll adapt to the MN norm of taking things up on the thread in question. And it might help if you were aware that there was a misogynistic troll who used to decry women posting in ways that weren't 'nice' enough, and his legacy is why threads such as this one often get short shrift.

So do remember that women do not have to be nice all the time, swearing is permitted (but not actually mandatory yet), that some people might have only a passing interest in a thread, others may care deeply, some might be very serious, some might be teasing, all see the world a bit differently to you, and one of the strengths of MN is the number of posters who will post advice that OP needs to hear, not just what she thinks she wants.

This broadness is a great strength of MN and part of the ethos. But if the site is not one where you feel 'right', keep looking until you find the one where you feel at home.

Omega16 · 04/11/2018 08:50

I know what you mean @Welshmum16, some posters were extremely rude about my ironed dish cloths. slovenly harridans

NoSquirrels · 04/11/2018 08:50

This board - Site Stuff - is really fur MNHQ problems that need fixing ... issues with moderation, or weirdtechy stuff, or ideas fir MNHQ to improve on.

What are they supposed to do about the fact that some people in the internet don’t respond to an OP in a sanitised and nice fashion? Practically speaking, what does this thread achieve?

I’m sure MNHQ would love suggestions on how to stop individuals being ... individual

HRTpatch · 04/11/2018 08:52

I would rather have the vitriol of MN than the faux "my kids are my life" twee huns on the other site.

whistl · 04/11/2018 08:54

I'm not a new poster but I agree with the OP.
I wonder at the people who post nastily, without any provocation. Are they like that in real life too? Do people try to avoid them in real lifeso they come here instead?

Unfortunately, a deleted post does not really make up for the hurt a nasty reponse can cause. Once read, the damage is done (which is, of course, what the person who posted it meant to happen). For that reason, i think i've only reported one post in 10 years.

KristinaM · 04/11/2018 08:55

I would rather have the vitriol of MN than the faux "my kids are my life" twee huns on the other site

I think you’ll find it’s “ luv ma man an ma bubs*. Get it right FFS

VisitorsEntrance · 04/11/2018 08:59

I just joined a nut/peanut anaphylaxis group in light of the recent epipen shortage and after about three days I realised that it was not for me. At all. So I left

What could have been so bad on a peanut allergy forum?

As for the ops question it does rather depend on the bit of the forum you are on.

As it is I love it here. I love the robustness. I love that for once we don’t have to be nice because we are women. I love the women who sent me flowers when I lost my baby. I love that people get huge support when the worst things you can imagine are happening in their lives.

WizardOfToss · 04/11/2018 09:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Welshmum16 · 04/11/2018 09:00

It's the old paradigm of nrew poster telling all and sundry that they,re all bitches.

And where have I said this? It makes me think have you actually read my post? And also for all I know the rude posters could be new to mn

Like I said I don't mind the difference of opinion that is what you come here for it the rudeness and personal attacks I am takin about

OP posts:

HRTpatch · 04/11/2018 09:02

kristinaM
Or hubs and bubs

VisitorsEntrance · 04/11/2018 09:03

Some posts are just rude and not called for, surely if you have nothing constructive to say don't post a response.

See. That says ‘stop being a bunch of bitches’

JiltedJohnsJulie · 04/11/2018 09:04

“ luv ma man an ma bubs. Get it right FFS*.

I have one if these on FB. It’s hilarious especially as she spent so long banging on in the office about how awful he was for months when they were split up, then panicking over who was the father of her baby when they got back together. Now it’s multiple posts about how he is her life

CoteDAzur · 04/11/2018 09:05

"Some posts are just rude and not called for, surely if you have nothing constructive to say don't post a response."

Because women must always be polite and gentle?

Processedpea · 04/11/2018 09:06

Never used to be so openly abusive and lame to see the have you wandered in from netmums post

Keep off aibu op

Wauden · 04/11/2018 09:06

Some posters have failed to read the thread.
Personal attacks are wrong.

NoSquirrels · 04/11/2018 09:07

Like I said I don't mind the difference of opinion that is what you come here for it the rudeness and personal attacks I am takin about

But what would you like anyone to DO about it?

Posters who are as you describe aren’t going to give a shiny shit what you think, so they’re not going to change their ways or read this and think “Hmm, I should be nicer”.

TheFaerieQueene · 04/11/2018 09:07

I think we have one of these threads started every couple of weeks or so. It is a tad tiresome.

Urbanbeetler · 04/11/2018 09:08

People can be unpleasant - but you can change the direction of comments by defending the op if you feel she is being badly treated. I think what often happens is that the first one or two comments direct the way things will go, with a bit of a pile on or lots of sympathy, then someone will come along with a totally opposing view and change the direction of the thread. Lots of comments are just saying the same thing as the previous commentators - and the whole tone of the thread can be changed by a different viewpoint.

People will always disagree and many posters are better at reading between the lines than others - I tend to take things at face value which is often wrong. I find that out later in the thread!

If you think someone is behaving badly towards a poster on a thread, call them out. If you are right, it’s very likely others will agree with you.

Yonijust · 04/11/2018 09:09

I would rather be called a twat than hun.

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