Disablism

[BishopBrennansArse]

Shiny new thread.

Hopefully won't get derailed.

Navy I'm sure people said exactly that about the civil rights movement,

I'm still seething at the bullying that went on ion the last thread why was it allowed to get into that state? Why were 6 posters allowed to gang up on one person and make threads about them?

Can we please stop this, I'm Jason and i was banned for very good reason, i totally agree with what mumsnet did and I asked to be banned.

What i did can't go without punishment, it was awful. I didn't understand the word fully but i knew it was something bad. and responding with I don't care don't, hijack the thread was really nasty.
This doesn't excuse the bulling from other members though.

The period after when i could still post under the email address wasn't handled very well, I sent you 7 emails HQ and even though i was honest about this you would post to say goodbye to the G&C??? I guess blocking banned user mail is policy?

oh well, i've made a few accounts since and said my goodbyes. (i will be deleting this one too now)
I am sorry, but please understand I wanted the ban, i asked for it. Please stop accusing HQ of siding, I just want to clear this matter up, in this case it was justified.

Smart it was last week, and one particular poster just lost the plot with me when actually I was challenging disablist comments, but not ones which weren't (unintentional or otherwise) and she just flew for me. MNHQ removed a good few of her comments, but she followed me the whole day just attacking anything I said. It was shit.

Yeah I made the turkeys voting for Christmas comment. In response to a disabled person thinking that it was ok for able bodied people to decide whether or not disabled people should be offended. Because they weren't offended and I was.

My point being it's not ok for able bodied people to tell disabled people when they're allowed to be offended. Of course that disabled person was absolutely entitled to their own view on the topic discussed but I won't have someone tell me that able bodied people decide what I find offensive or not OR how I react to that.

I apologise Pag I thought it was referencing part of my post.

No apology necessary Watcher
But the wine is always welcome

Aye I am afraid that I and a good few other posters saw it as completely the opposite to how you describe but it is probably best not to rehash it all on this thread.

Sounds v unpleasant for you, aye.

As a disabled poster I'm finding even this thread difficult because I just feel the point gets lost.

Pagwatch summed it up best whenshe posted how no-one likes to think of themselves as harbouring any prejudices and therefore get affronted with the suggestion that they might - my view is that much of the problem is things that have been "badly expressed" but have revealed unconscious prejudice. When this is challenged a chorus of "oh no, no, I didn't mean that" comes out, is supported, and the person who pointed it out is turned on, but on some level they did mean it or they wouldn't have put it that way. But holding up a mirror to it just causes resentment, because nobody likes being told they are prejudiced. The same OP often with a very minor rewrite is the same issue and not disablist at all, but that minor inclusion has revealed unconscious bias IYSWIM?

I have a self-imposed ban on disabled related threads now, all of them, because it just isn't worth the upset. I come on here to relax and chat not to get upset and feel worse about the world. I don't want to be responsible for educating the world and his wife, I just want to snark at awkward tv moments and cringe over bad Facebook posts, and marvel at shocking behaviour from mils, and Bounty reps, and scandals involving SILs dog, you know what I mean?

But then I click on a thread and someone is debating the merits of allowin her child to not invite the sn kid to his party and I'm just that we still live in a world were that's even a debate as to whether that's OK or not. I was that kid in 1988. Best friends mum thought it was "too much hassle"

I don't think anyone is evil just in need of having some cop on before they press post just as they would IRL life before opening their mouth, like, would they still say it if it said Emma Jones* and not 'EverySongbirdSays'

*not my name

In which case I shall take my leave Ilovehedgehogs because I am not strong enough to go through all that again. I will say that I will defend my boys and anyone else with a disability against disablism until the day I die, but I cannot cope with the vitriol thrown at me last week, so I'm done.

X post ilove. I see, best dropped I guess when it's like this and been rehashed

EverySongBird

Yep. 'Oh no I didn't mean it like that' is often just backtracking from the unconscious thought.

I wonder if that's the problem, because IIRC the op on that thread was hesitating over inviting the child with SN because he and her son clashed.

Two years ago I taught a fantastic kid with some brain damage that meant she couldn't walk, although her intelligence wasn't impaired. She had a great and wicked sense of humour, was feisty, funny and was liable to run you over with her wheelchair if you didn't move quickly enough. I really liked her.

At the end of the school year she won the 'name of famous ex pupil' award which was for children who embodied qualities of gentleness, hard work and friendship.

It wasn't her. If there had been an award for feistiness or determination she'd have got it but not gentleness! That was classic seeing the disability not the person.

I don't condone leaving one child out of s party but that stands firm disability or no. It's misleading to present that information as if the OP of that thread wanted to leave the lad out because of his SEN, when I don't think she did.

yesterdaysunshine that's what I was trying to say and got absolutely slaughtered for it.

People really are unable to admit they might have got it a little bit wrong and they can learn from it and do it better next time.

But good at blaming the ones fighting for fairness for a protected and vulnerable group.

Gosh. We might make them feel bad.

She did indeed say the child clashed with her child, but she was considering leaving out only him and two new boys.... it didn't sit right, kids clash, likely he'd also clashed with invitees at one time or another, it was a whole class party save those 3, and on that basis, pointed.

Oh, absolutely, and unacceptable and rude and unkind - but not disabilitist.

Anyway I wasn't so much opening that thread for discussion as referring to it as an example.

CandyMcJingles I said earlier that a comment you made on another thread (not about disability) had really made me think and changed my opinion. I maintain the basis of what I said on the thread being discussed was fair, at one point I got into an argument and was out of order, for which I apologised, but the basis of what I was saying I stand by.

Or was it yesterday or was it being couched in other ways, so as to not seem that way? I felt so.

I think only the OP of that thread could answer that.

And therein the rub!

Poster A : I find that disablist

Poster B : I did not intend that

Poster A : That is how it comes across

Poster C : Bloody SN brigade leave Poster B alone

Bunfight.

Every disability thread ever, hence avoidance