What is going on with personal attacks/disablist language being left to stand?!

[JeanneDeMontbaston]

I've just seen that the term 'fucking retarded' was left to stand, and the poster who reported it was told it shouldn't be deleted.

That really shocks me and I think it's a real shame coming from MNHQ.

I saw this because the person reporting started a thread asking whether the term were acceptable or not, and it's been deleted with no explanation except that it was 'against talk guidelines'.

I know it was a TAAT (as is this), but generally, threads asking reasonable questions are left to stand for a little, with an explanation from HQ on them. I'm hoping for a better result here in Site Stuff, as it seems to me it's a pretty important question.

Are you defending a policy of not deleting insults like 'fucking retarded'? Is it now unacceptable to question that sort of thing? And does it have to do with this ongoing issue with threads about feminism - which is where the term was used, and in the context of some very nasty (undeleted) attacks on feminist posters.

Stay I'm really sorry that this thread descended into this. Everyone knew exactly what you meant, and the context you meant it in. I've heard doctors use the exact term about children with LDs before now in a work capacity, even though it isn't generally considered to be a reasonable thing to call anyone.

Don't worry puffin, I'm overwhelmed by the kindness of posters on here who took the time to understand what I meant. Your understanding is much appreciated. I was sitting earlier watching the young uns scoffing down their dinner and suddenly got an overwhelming feeling of love and happiness. My darling husband died in March and I'm so lucky to have these wonderful angels in my life.

Blimey that was a bit more open than I intended. In my defence I've had a glass and a half of wine and it doesn't take much with me.

Oh Stay, I am so very sorry to hear that. Glad your DCs bring those feelings out in you. Deeply unMNetty hugs for you.

something similar happened before on a thread , a regular poster (a staunch fem too coincidentally) made a post about a group of LD adults in public with carers and one threw something at her which was annoying (fair enough ) and how could she be expected to know these ppl were LD or SEN because they werent dribbling or howling. (yes really), and the comment was left to stand despite protests for days and when the poster decided to edit /repost it was the most naff non apology ever.

Holy shit Fuji, just when you think people can't get any more ignorant. Them that is, not you. My wee girl looks very cute and people very often think she's just very shy, as she says very little or nothing until she gets to know you. It's only when they get to know her and she's starts speaking, that they realise just how limited her communication skills are. But she has a great sense of fun and is so loving. She's now up in bed with our, or should I say her, wee Yorkie and cat. No doubt they are lying in one big cuddled heap.

Stay, my heart goes out to you. I get it. My boy has Aspergers. I spend a great deal of time worrying about him finding his way in a world that has often let him know he is unwelcome.

yea i know what you mean, my ds is still cute hes only little boy, my sis (severely disabled ) is early 20s and definitely not cute anymore ppl do become more intolerant. yes i was very shocked too , i was just like wow if this was something sexist you'd jump down the posters throat. I personally think because of the buzzwords thrown around in that corner of mumsnet and discpline measures are seen as a silencing tatic and hound MNHQ
to let it stand. im nno suggestting for a second its an issue of all of them but clearly its an issue for her in general and more concentrated in certain areas.

*here in general

Fuji, I am sorry that someone said that, it sounds awful.

I don't think that any "buzzwords" used on FWR make posters in that area (many of whom are on this thread) more likely to use disablist language. I didn't see the thread but I would have condemned it at the time if I had.

thanks yonic,it was shocking lots of other posters were shocked too. a lot i can imagine will disagree, it just something Ive noticed separately and in other controversial topics that 'silencing tactic' can be,by a so minded poster be taken as i say as i please and noone will shut me up. and the topic about SEN men and should they not be giving any understanding/allowance if sexually inappropriate is often brought up so i think its more ingrained than people would like to think.

That is horrible, fuji.

I didn't see the thread about men with SEN and being sexually inappropriate, but I have seen others and I think there can be really hurt feelings on both sides. I agree we should be understanding, but I don't think allowance is fair (if we are using that term in the same way - I'd understand it to mean 'permission to carry on', but if you mean 'understanding why they might have done/said something without intending it the way it came across', of course, that's right).

i mean understanding that they are not meaning it in a sadistic way i dont mean let them carry on,.i have seen comments like 'shouldn't be allowed out then' etc those kind of sinister comments.

Oh, yes. With you there, then.

'Shouldn't be allowed out' is not an ok comment by a long way.