hide poster button, impersonally

[moresnow]

RebeccaMumsnet said:

Please do start another thread about the hide poster option, but avoid making it personal.

I would like to be able to hide goady / drum-banging / just plain boring posters. I would not at all mind being hidden by everyone else.

Anyone else have comments they've not made yet on this one?

Agree with ssd. Trolls, sockies, goady fuckers - just terms of abuse. People will have divergent views on the internet. Either learn to educate yourself by appreciating views different from your own, or join the right branch of the WI. They are conservative in some branches, with a small c and in many places, a big C. A club for like-minded people who heartily disapprove of women with other opinions, and will run them out of town.

I think hiding a poster altogether is a bad idea for the reasons others already gave - disjointed threads, and the rudeness of completely blanking someone who is engaging in debate, even if you disagree with them.

AN ALTERNATE SUGGESTION.

what if we had the option to have a list of posters who have a tendency to get our backs up. Call it "my amber list" For reasons explained below, nothing happens if there are fewer than 5 active posters (who have posted more than 5 times in the past 3 months for example) in your list. If that minimum is reached, then any thread containing 2 or more posts from people on your amber list (whether 2 from the same poster or one each from different people) gets shown highlighted in orange whether it's in the category area, in active conversations or in Threads I'm On. But the individual posts would not be hidden or highlighted. because of the minimum number above, this could transcend name changes as you wouldn't be able to see which poster on a thread was a name changed or which name on your list either. Grown ups who wanted to choose to walk away from irritating people could then choose to not click on orange threads in the knowledge that they are thus avoiding high blood pressure.

It would need a little policing to make sure people don't use it to alert themselves to threads they actively want to disrupt - perhaps the facility is withdrawn from a specific poster if they get in the habit of jumping into amber threads to pick a fight.

fish, you're thinking about this too much, go have a

I very much doubt any of these suggestions would bring MN sufficient revenues to compensate for the tech costs.

Bunfights and weird threads PenisBeaker bring in lots more posters and therefore more revenue re advertising I guess.

Modestine it isn't about not liking others having an opinion and I think it is patronising to suggest we are all a bunch of pearl clutching offendees.

I can take robust debate. What I can't stand is personal attack in the form of goading or bullying. I can't stand people being unnecessarily hurtful, to make themselves feel clever.

It adds nothing and takes away a lot. Posters who are new being reated like dirt, for posting on the wrong thread for example, and met with a cascade of abuse to the point where they leave the site.

If that isn't 'silencing' then I don't know what is. People who do that deserve to be hidden by everyone.

Sparkling, me neither.

There are also those who have probably got some sort of personality disorder which they may not even be aware of - who seem to take great pleasure in being incisive and putting others down.

That's not about debate or conflicting views. It's about hurting people. If you can't do one thing without the other then you don't belong in a place like this. I think often people can choose whether to step beyond the line and be far too nasty, and they choose to because it satisfies the need to show off their talent for incisiveness.

I think you can only do that if you're up against someone equally cutting and equally nasty, then it's gloves off I suppose. Otherwise it is an unfair fight and no sense of triumph ought to be forthcoming.

I don't think people like that should be hidden. I think people should confront them for bullying and trying to chase people off threads. What is hiding them going to achieve? It's just turning a blind eye to their behaviour.

[thinks]

But you can confront them over and over and they carry on doing it.

What then? It's not bannable. If no one sees it it takes away the impact, the power of it.

It's like placing them and their sharp stick in a metaphorical cage.

also if they are on a thread pissing everyone off, and everyone goes 'I'm going to hide your posts now' instead of 'I can't bear this, I am bowing out of the thread' it might achieve something?

I don't think we will know unless we have a trial tbh. It could go either way.

I wonder if having the facility in one topic but not in others might be a way forward initially?

Not sure which though. AIBU would be a baptism of fire

But the new people/visitors/people who haven't hidden would still see them and that no one is challenging them. No one would even able to offer support because they can't see the abuse they're getting from the hidden poster.

If you could see a person you had hidden was posting, and a newbie was in need of rescue possibly, then you could unhide and see what was going on and say something.

No I think you're right - it makes more sense to have everything visible doesn't it. Not a great deal to be gained from hiding anyone.

I am going to fall off the fence in a minute.

"'I'm going to hide your posts now' "

As other people have pointed out, this goes into bullying territory and others have said that shouldn't be allowed - could be bannae. Although even if it wasn't being done publicly it would probably go on behind the scenes via PM as someone said earlier.

I sometimes send a supportive PM to the OP rather than post on the thread and get a load of grief over it if I feel they are getting a harsh time.

but why are people not already walking away from/ignoring the posts of people who wind them up? The choice not to ignore someone is ultimately still there, just because there isn't a button which enables you to do it doesn't mean you can't skip past posts you don't like or not respond to them.

Wanting a hide poster option ultimately says that people have no self restraint therefore they need mn to put something in place to do something which they can't personally bring themselves to do....

I suppose you could skip past but there's always an element of 'Oh FFS what are they spouting about this time?' and reading it.

I hide a lot of threads. I can be enjoying a thread, and maybe even having a laugh then someone turns up and I just hide it straight away.

Ok. Having RTFT I have changed my mind.

I would agree to a hide poster button, reason being it makes not one jot of difference to me and the way I use MN.

I find it interesting that there seems to be cases for both sides but MNHQ have refrained from joining the debate. I'd like to know where MNHQ stand on this.

Wannabe, I wonder if it is because the person is there, and interjecting nasty stuff into reasonable discussion and it is difficult to ignore - also often they say something that needs correcting, such as making accusations that aren't true or saying you said something you didn't.

Very hard to ignore when someone is poking at you with a sharp stick. And you worry that others will believe them if you don't refute it.

"I sometimes send a supportive PM to the OP rather than post on the thread and get a load of grief over it if I feel they are getting a harsh time."

Me too Sparkling. I think it's sad that people feel that they need to do this privately though.

"often they say something that needs correcting, such as making accusations that aren't true or saying you said something you didn't."

But if you hide them then you wouldn't be able to see it to correct them and their point would stand on the thread for others to read and perhaps think is true.

But unless everyone apart from the OP is being absolutely shitty, there will always be people on the thread supporting the OP, and just because you have hidden particular posts does not mean you won't be able to tell what people have been saying on the threads.

SophieHatters I think you may be right about some posters on here having some kind of personality disorder.

Modestine goady fucker is not just a term of abuse. They exist and so do trolls. I thought your last post was patronising too.