MNHQ, I would be interested to hear your views on the level of vitriol & personal abuse that has been posted today (08/05/2015)

[magimedi]

I am amazed that no one from HQ has intervened on any of the (very many) political threads that have descended into name calling & personal abuse.

Selfishcuntydupe has summed up everything I want to say with this post:

"Yes - the hatred, the bile, the vitriol at people who simply put a cross in a different box. And the baby killing nonsensical hyperbole posted across this site. It's hysterical. Utterly, hysterical.

And no,the Tories here can never win because whatever they post, no matter how sane and objective , it will be used against them to accuse them of being a smug rich, bastard or as evidence that they are heartless.

No one predicted the election outcome because good, decent people stayed silent and quietly voted to avoid the bile , the bullying and the abuse they were seeing heaped upon those who did speak up.

MN admin - I would advise you to look very very closely at what some of your members are saying and how they are behaving or it may bite you on the arse too. This is an amazing website but some of the posts today are shameful."


I know that this site is moderated with a very light hand, but I think you have failed by not intervening today.

Not even an from you.

[oddfodd]

The gap between rich and poor has increased and continues to increase LadyStark as a direct result of tory policies. That not my spin or interpretation, it's the OECD's conclusion.

[ElizabethG81]

It's certainly been heated on here today but I've not seen any more vitriolic attacks than normal for Mumsnet. As others have said, if the worst thing that happens to you as a result of this election is that you get called some nasty names on the internet, then you live a very charmed life.

People are genuinely worried, not just about their own families, but about their neighbours, friends, family, and groups of vulnerable people who they work with. People are worried about society as a whole, and how the cuts that are made now are going to have an impact for years to come. Children raised in poverty create more issues and costs for society over their lifetime than it would cost to just give their parents a decent amount of money to raise them, and to have services in the community to support them.

For me, most of the frustration with conservative voters is that there does appear to be gaping lack of understanding of this. I've lost track of the amount of posts I've read that have the general attitude of "well they should just try harder", "I manage to earn £x pa, why can't they?". If everyone was born and raised in equal circumstances, with equal opportunities, then I might not have a problem with this viewpoint. Until that day arrives, I will continue to vote the way I do.

[BishopBrennansArse]

Thank you.
I just feel so.... desperate sometimes.
Right now my family needs some help. I just want enough help to give us all a future. Between us me and DH paid into the system for more than 30 years.

I have been sneered at in the street. I've had the motability car vandalised by someone who thought we didn't 'deserve' it. All this since 2010. My family is demonised in the press as scrounging scum.

Many won't believe that incidences of unpleasant behaviour have increased. They have.

I don't think all Tory voters are heartless bastards, by the way. Some are. I'm pretty sure voters for other parties are the same. But I do know some are misguided (once again not speaking for all of you). Two separate examples I can list are:

1. on hearing that our income was to be cut and that we may become liable for Bedroom Tax (in the end we got exempted on medical grounds) "oh don't worry, you just have to go to the social and claim it back don't you"
   
   
2. on hearing that a vital educational service was being cut "oh don't worry they won't go through with that, not with David Cameron's son"

[MargoReadbetter]

Never mind what Labour would/could/might have done, let's look at the mess the Tories are inheriting from themselves just now. Food banks are a disgrace. Charity but without the soul. Perfunctory. There you go, have a slab of meat and don't bother us again.

[IndosaSamosa]

Ach, I don't mind it. I got a bit of a leathering earlier for saying I want devo for the North (and stuff everyone else!). But that's debate. I'm free to speak and you're free to disagree. With gusto. That's democracy.

People are yelling because it's their lives, it's their kids, it's the food on their table. It's important. And I think we have to recognise here that it's words. It's not guns or knives or black vans pulling up outside your house. And that's why this is a free society, a democracy, and not a dictatorship as was claimed on one thread!

[ElizabethG81]

Indosa, I agree with you re Northern devolution Think we should be having words with the SNP.

[Mintyy]

I am very worried for the people who are worse off than me, certainly.

My dc asked what this new Conservative government would mean for our family today and I could honestly reply that I don't think we will see any significant changes in the next 5 years. Its because we are fortunate and quite well off, I explained. Although heaven help us if one of us gets sick and can't work ...

There might be quite a bit more civil unrest, and I would absolutely demonstrate along with my fellow leftish citizens.

However, selfishly, I am very worried for my children! How will they survive the debt from University (if they go)?, how will they afford to live, how will they be able to support children, how will they feel about living in a society where the extremely rich and priviliged are always in charge and everyone else is in the position where they doff their caps to them?

[ElectraCute]

You see, this is the issue in a nutshell.

A poster like Bishop comes on and explains her actual, real-life, lived experience, and her fears for herself and her family, in painful and affecting detail.

And then another poster comes on and tells her that her interpretation of and her beliefs about her own experience are actually incorrect. That she is wrong about what happened and why. That what she thinks has happened, hasn't.

That is why people have got angry. They have shared their very real concerns about their futures, and they have been told that the way they feel about their own lives is incorrect.

It is beyond comprehension.

[BettyCatKitten]

Bishop, I think they saying goes " you need to walk a thousand miles in someone else's shoes....."
Sadly unless some people have little understanding of another persons plight

[wigglylines]

"All this starving children under Tories nonsense is what it is. Total and ridiculous nonsense"

It's not though, that's the whole point. More children will be pushed into poverty, and will go hungry, because of the government just elected.

More people will be homeless, more disabled and vulnerable people will die. More people will suffer without access to decent medical treatment for physical and mental conditions.

More young people and women will be forced to endure abusive home lives because avenues for help and support have been cut off.

I could go on.

Sadly it's not scaremongering, it's a realistic appraisal based on the last 5 years.

That's why feelings are running so high.

[TheFairyCaravan]

Bishop (((hugs)))

I feel desperate today. Not just desperate for me and every other disabled person and their families, but desperate for so many, many people. I was very lucky as a kid, growing up under Thatcher, but there were a few in my school that really stood out as poor. Really, really poor. I am worried that's going to happen again. How many more kids are going to be fed by foodbanks? How long are free school meals going to stay?

The Tories promised the earth thinking they'd be in a coalition so they wouldn't have to deliver. Now they are on their own whose going to pay for it? The vulnerable of all ages that's who.

[sanfairyanne]

yes to northern-snp grand coalition!

[TondelayoSchwarzkopf]

90,000 children are homeless in the UK. Is that scaremongering? Or because they aren't starving or living on the streets we don't care about them?

[BettyCatKitten]

Very well put TheFairy

[Butterflywings168]

HAHAHA what world do you lot live in. I am so sick of these nasty, bullying threads. I have not seen this supposed vitriol from Labour supporters. I have seen a lot of threads accusing them.
It is abuse. If you voted Tory own that, don't pretend that people calling you on the effects this deeply nasty government has had on vulnerable people is just them being mean. Such gaslighting.
Again, I have not seen this supposed abuse, I have seen people who are TERRIFIED of what is going to happen to them - and idiot Tories who won't admit yes, they voted entirely selfishly and actually don't give a fuck about said people. And start threads whining that they are the victims. No. Just no.

[ToastedOrFresh]

MNHQ support the bullies if they believe the person being bullied deserves it.

MN Royalty are the ultimate bullies but get away with it because they are MN Royalty and therefore OK with Justine and Co.

[Mintyy]

Oooh!

[morage]

I don't even know who MN Royalty are supposed to be?

[GraysAnalogy]

I wondered how long the mumsnet royalty thing would take.

There's someone on here who's actually agreeing with the thread who I would class as MN royalty if I was that way inclined (she's a long time, fab poster) but I don't believe in that shite and I don't believe MNHQ are biased.

[SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed]

Another vote for Northern devolution!

[ShadowsInTheDarkness]

I've also not seen these awful attacks on Tories. I've seen and been part of threads worrying about the outcome of the election. I've seen posters angry and scared and I've seen those posters called hysterical. The thing is that some of us are living these cuts. Some of us are right at the bottom, clinging on by our fingernails and worrying about how we get out of this mess. No labour didn't make any clear outlined statements on how they would do things differently. However the Tories have PROMISED cuts so in electing them, it's a given that our situation will definitely get worse. I didn't give a fuck who people voted for as long as it wasn't a conservative vote. I just wanted them out.

I say this without a hint of hysteria and as calmly as possible so as to avoid being called a hysteric: I left an abusive relationship. I went into refuge. That refuge has now closed. I have a 2yo with asthma which is as yet not being effectively controlled leading to frequent hospital admissions. I have a 4yo with sensory issues who is slightly on the spectrum. Neither of these are conditions which in any way entitle me or them to disability/carer benefits yet they do mean that I would struggle to hold down a job with the frequent medical appointments and three day stretches of time off I'd need every time DS was admitted to hospital (frequently). The benefits I do receive are barely enough. Bedroom tax means I pay a hefty amount on top of my housing benefit to make up the rent, and my house is "cheap" for this area. I manage to sell a few craft bits and get some maintenance from exP and this just about keeps our heads above water. We eat very little meat and I'm on iron supplements to hold the anemia at bay. I grow veg, and have fruit trees, I keep hens and feed them on scraps so we always have eggs. I'm breaking my tenancy by having the veg patch and the hens but with no inspections it's a risk I'm willing to take to ensure we have more than we did if I tried to buy all our veg/eggs.

If the benefits I receive are cut I can only see one option. (And it's likely they will be, I'm under 25, they've threatened a cut to tax credits, housing benefit will prob be squeezed a bit more etc) I've sat down and gone through my options over and over but if my money decreases I won't be able to afford to keep the house, I won't be able to afford the essentials like heating in winter and the tv license, new shoes, winter coats. If this happens I will have to get back with my ex. I can't see another way out. It's ok though, because he wasn't very abusive, just a little bit and it's only for five years right?

That's my calmly explained reality. It's not even that bad compared to an awful lot of people. So many people aren't lucky enough to have an abusive ex who would take them in and pay all their bills. An awful lot of people will be forced down the route of patching up old school shoes, layering jumpers in place of coats, not heating their homes, selling their tv, radio, tumble drier, hair dryers as my friend has, just to try and free up even a few extra pounds for some basics like big bags of spuds and rice in an attempt to keep her kids fed. I'm luckily, incredibly so, to have the luxury of the veg patch and hens. A lot of lone parents on benefits don't get maintenance either, so they are already struggling far more than I am now. I eat less than I could to ensure the kids have enough. We already eat porridge for dinner twice a week to keep costs down. It's scary. I'm scared. Actually scared. It upsets me that those of us at the bottom have to spell this out actually. When we rant on about people starving and lives being destroyed do the Tory posters think we are just being dramatic for effect? Don't they understand that we are talking about our own lives? How can it be wrong and in need of moderation from HQ to say that the outcome of this election has condemned my family to hardship, misery and fear? How can it be wrong when it's the truth?

[morethanpotatoprints]

Northern Devolution, great idea
What about the North West though, we have some bloody Tory seats, its the posh folk from Cheshire and flippin Bolton why? so gutted.

[BettyCatKitten]

Shadows, you're doing amazingly well.
Unfortunately housing benefit is going to be abolished for the under 25's (you have dc's, I hope not for parents)
There is going to be angry young people made homeless. That is a fact.

[GraysAnalogy]

Shadows, thankyou so much for sharing an insight into your life. That must be so difficult yet you seem to be getting through it with a strength and resilience that I commend. People like you make me proud to be part of this society, the hard working and strong folk who find ways to fight back against what's chucked at them. (Hope that doesn't sound patronising in anyway I mean this genuinely with all me heart)

So voters, shadow has shared her situation, a situation which is similar it thousands. People who may have it slightly better or worse. I'd certainly pay more to help people, to get the centre started again that helped her.

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

This thread conveniently ignores the fact that people mainly got angry in response to goady smug threads started saying "well I am glad common sense prevailed and welfare will be cut" with posters laughing at others expressing real fear for their future.

Certain posters are going round deliberately being inflammatory as well. I have been angry today but at these goading posters not 100% of Tory voters (well I despair of them but it's their choice)