"MI5 should recruit from Mumsnet..."

[KateMumsnet]

Hello all

There's a rather fabulous story in the news today, which suggests that the security services could benefit from MNers' skills. What do you think - time for us to make a [false beard] emoticon?

[CloserToFiftyThanTwenty]

Of course I can neither confirm nor deny my spy status...

[funnyossity]

I only scored 4 but they still said to apply.

Raise the bar MI5!

[FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse]

I may or may not be called Chris in real life.

[TwatFaceBitch]

I can't do it of my phone

[Themonopolydog]

I would love to be a spy, nobody ever notices me.
Shame I'm not middle aged yet, I am a mum though.

[WasabiPeace]

6 of 8. Do you think they'll come and collect me from work in a big black car soon?

[NormaStanleyFletcher]

Can I be an office based spy? I don't want the dangerous bits.

Oh, and I need to work from home at least one day a week (horrific commute)

[madhairday]

I've got a CTU ringtone.

Do I get in?

[funnyossity]

I saw that security services were looking for people happy to sit for hours on end doing nothing surveillance and I thought this could be what I'm looking for, but apparently you have to be able to run at short notice occasionally .

[thoth]

As a middle aged woman, no-one ever looks at me twice- I'd be perfect for surveillance work.
I'm more of a Ros though.

Being serious though, I think that once you have children you cannot possibly be a candidate as the enemy immediately has a tool to coerce agents with.

[ninetynineonehundred]

I'm already a super sleuth finding lost toys, school tights etc inventive using the 'interesting' collection of food in the cupboard to make dinner, super fit walks to school and I like gin martinis so why not.

[Pantone363]

Try the listening challenge. I scored 9.

Clearly I missed my calling in life.

[thoth]

CTU Ringtone? Or "woof woof, miaow" as we call it in our house. (say it aloud)

[Hygellig]

My life as a SAHM to preschoolers sometimes seems mundane and boring...just think, I could take on some freelance work as an MI5 agent instead! It would make a change from proofreading. DH is more cynical about the excitement of an MI5 or MI6 career, however, maintaining that it would be mostly eavesdropping on men having boring conversations about football.

[ArcheryAnnie]

I bet ten roubles that real spy work is probably very, very boring, and involves a lot of paper-shuffling, and eavesdropping on utterly irrelevant phone conversations about whether the cat has yet to be fed.

[madhairday]

thoth

[Pantone363]

mi5 just in case you are reading this, additional skills also include

-I'm a mean poker player

-I have 6 points for speeding (clearly an advantage in a get away scenario)

-I once spied on a very important HR conversation at work by ringing the HR managers phone from my phone, answering it, placing some blu tac under the receiver and putting the phone back down. The phone looked like it was hung up but was actually connected to my phone thereby ensuring a perfect listening device during redundancy negotiations.

[funnyossity]

Pantone - job's yours!

[JoanHickson]

So no reasonable adjustments for the rubbish runners?

[FallonColby]

Remember that massive thread by hf128219 about some big scandal, well if anyone ever worked out that riddle then they should definitely be recruited!

[GCHQ]

[Kleptronic]

Pantone

JustForBlogs, I salute your Am I Being Treasonable. MNHQ needs to get that t-shirt printed up IMMEDIATELY.

[JoanHickson]

The one in celeb twaddle?

[Purpleflamingos]

I would be great. I'm apparently good at getting people to spill secrets and keeping them (frequent looks of astonishment on school mums faces when a secret is spilled and I confess I already knew). I can hold my drink whilst others get drunk and rant/rave/spill secrets. I can detect emotions and lies without any of Jeremy Kyle's lie detector tests (as DH has found out on several occasions). I can lie perfectly innocently (and forge signatures) thanks to too much trouble in my teens. All I need is someone to show me quickly modern coding/computer programming.
On the downside, I don't last five minutes of being tickled before giving information up as DH has found out too.

[JoanHicksonMIfive]

I have achieved a top score. I am in.