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Original poster

Somebody just called me angry... I guess I am

94 replies

dejags · 16/10/2006 07:58

I am ashamed to say that over the past couple of months I have let a website actually make me angry.

This'll be my last post so if anybody cares - here's why:

The sanctimonious, dare I say it "holier than thou" attitude of so many posters on this forum is just more than I can stomach for a minute longer. Don't eat this, don't feed your baby this way, I am so bloody marvellous - my God there are a lot of members on MN who should be awarded multiple gold threads.

I am also sick to DEATH of the BF vs FF debate. It has now become so boring I think if I have to read one more evangelical thread about the subject I'll expire - or at least the part of my brain capable of processing new information will.

I think now I am into my third pregnancy the more experienced parent in me is finding the whining, witchhunts and general crappy atmosphere a waste of time.

I shan't be logging on anymore. Au-revoir MN.

dejags
x

OP posts:
Raggydoll · 16/10/2006 08:00

how long have you been a member dejags. do you think there is a better site or are you not logging on full stop

TutterIckOrTreat · 16/10/2006 08:01

that it's got to you dejags

see you back soon i hope

ps sorry but had to lol at witchhunts

lulumama · 16/10/2006 08:01

best of luck dejags with your pregnancy and birth ...hope all goes well and sorry you feel you can no longer continue posting....there are things that are said on here that are sanctimonious/holier than thou etc....but a huge amount of positive, kind, caring and heart warming threads go on too.....it's a shame the bad has outweighed the good for you..

Flamebat · 16/10/2006 08:16

Even I did a lol @ witchhunts

Agree with you a lot... just have sod all willpower.

FrannyandZooey · 16/10/2006 08:21

Bye dejags.

I am afraid to say, about the only thing I am sick of reading on here, is people going on about how dreadful the site has become, for whatever reason. At least I might learn something from someone's opinion on something, however objectionable it is to me. But people just slagging off the site and its members again and again is dismal reading.

VanillaMilkshake · 16/10/2006 08:25

What a shame Dejags does'nt seem to understand that new members are on MN all the time and may have the same questions to ask?

As for "hollier then thou attitudes" - well you just get on with it, if you put the question out there people are going to comment. Diversity is what makes the world go round!

And ironicaly Dejags obvioulsy feel they are above the rest of us for no longer needing the use of MN!

I am in my 2nd PG and still find the support and advice on this site incredibly helpful and supportive.

A lot of people think they are the only ones going through difficult and unsettling times, yet through MN they have been able to find others with similar problems and together have helped each other through darker times.

Feel like I have to say 'what's your problem Dejags?' As it is sad to see someone with such experience as a parent say goodbye to this site and no longer take part and share thier experiences with other who may benefit.

Good luck!

jasnDISMemBERED · 16/10/2006 08:34

I agree with F&Z. If you have no interest in a topic, stay off the thread.

I had problems with my third baby which were new to me, and although boring to many, there were enough kind supportive mners around to help me through...I'd like to be able to do the same for others, and that is reason enough to stay.

FrannyandZooey · 16/10/2006 08:35

That's quite a few personal comments to Dejags there Vanilla. Is this your usual posting name?

Tortington · 16/10/2006 08:37

if your on the xmas meet up thread - and your not coming will you take yourself off then.

sorry you feel so upset. i agree with your post btw.

all the best with your pregnancy

TwigTwoolett · 16/10/2006 08:48

the 'holier than thous' make me PMSL though particularly when I'm giving my kids 7-up at the local chinese and surreptitiously looking round to see if there's an MN present ... also when I read threads and think .. bugger the only way I can read this is because DD is plonked in front of Cbeebies

Dejags ... take a break ... hope you come back

lemonaid · 16/10/2006 08:49

You don't have to read one more evangelical thread about BF v FF. You have never had to read any evangelical threads about it. I've never read one (on MN, at least) because I steer clear. Similarly for most other contentious things (OK, so I dive in on religion in schools occasionally).

This may be why I've seen a lot of support, consideration, generosity and help on Mumsnet since I've been here, and very little sanctimony. I know the negative stuff is here somewhere (as it is there in real life) but I'm not forced to read it. You get what you look for, IME.

When I think of Mumsnet I think of the outpouring of support and financial help for Yorkiegirl, of the Mumsnetter who was scared and alone in labour with no childcare for her DD who was helped out by another Mumsnetter, of the real life friendships that have been formed through some of the meet-up threads. All this achieved without whining or crappiness.

CreepyCrawlyCarmenere · 16/10/2006 08:55

Dejags, you are right to a certain extent but you are taking it too seriously. Be more like me - I couldn't give a monkeys what others think of my parenting. And by the same token I couldn't care less if some mums bottle feed their newborns chocolate milk. There is a lot more to this site than sanctimony. It's fun, it's supportive, it's car-crash fascinating. Don't be silly, stay.

ghosty · 16/10/2006 08:57

Dejags .... LOL!
I just stepped into that thread, read the first few threads, yelled "OH FUCK OFF THE LOT OF YOU!" and closed the thread, muttering under my breath. 5 minutes later I was chuckling at myself for shouting at a computer ...
Just don't bother - pick and choose your threads ... that is what I do. I just haven't got the time and can't be ar$ed to get involved with threads like that. Life is too short. But remember the greater good that MN has to offer so many people, as lemonaid says ... that is what I come to MN for ...
Sometimes I may get hot under the collar and actually post on a thread ... but really, just keep away from the threads that aren't you ... but don't leave completely ...

LemonTart · 16/10/2006 09:02

I don?t have the will power not to read those threads so won?t say steer clear of them - also some are not obv in the title, just turn into another bitchfest. However, after disappearing for a few weeks after tiring of the same ole moaning and whining and fellow mum "in-fighting", I stopped visiting the site.
Slowly I realised I missed it and that it was me that needed to learn to lighten up, let the things that bug me go over my head and see it for what it is.
I know the Dalai Lama said something wise about learning stop other peoples negativity upset you and that the only person who will allow you to become upset it you - but i can?t find it! Oh well, you get the picture.

Hope a break helps you feel better about mumsnet as it did me. If not, good luck with the pregnancy dejags. You are so nice that I am sure you have loads of support in rl to get you through it

TwigTwoolett · 16/10/2006 09:03

what thread? what thread?

lemonaid · 16/10/2006 09:05

I tend to assume that any thread which gathers posts at a huuuuge rate (unless it sounds like it's about pirate sex or something) is probably in danger of becoming a bitchfest, and steer clear.

ghosty · 16/10/2006 09:06

Twig, the 'would this offend a breastfeeder one' I think ...
the one that starts off about a slogan on a baby's t-shirt and has ended up as 'Handbags at Dawn' ...
Yawn ....

TwigTwoolett · 16/10/2006 09:08

oh that one .. clicked on it and thought 'err how tasteless and common' so couldn't be bothered to comment ... snurk

TwigTwoolett · 16/10/2006 09:08

but that was before anyone else had posted .. haven't been back .. should I sneak in?

ghosty · 16/10/2006 09:10

Go on, sneak back in and throw the gin among the tonic ....

harpsichordcarrion · 16/10/2006 09:14

but ghosty nobody was upset on that thread, nobody was fighting, nobody said they were offended (except by thte tackiness)
everyone was just saying how they felt.
(I didn't post on it, btw, I just went to see what the fuss was about and I was boggled by how utterly calm and funny the thread was.)

belgo · 16/10/2006 09:17

I thought the thread was quite funny, and tame in comparison to some threads I've read on here.

ks · 16/10/2006 09:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

LadyTophamHatt · 16/10/2006 09:33

dejags, I've been getting more and more bored on here (but unable to leave) becasue of all the things you've said.

I actually think I'm outgrowing MN because I've been here so much over the years. I only really post on the trivial threads and use it to maon about stuff. It very very rare that I get involved in any "big" threads because I simply can't be arsed 99% of the time.

I wish I could leave, I really do. Please let us know who the rest of the trip and the PG goes.

VanillaMilkshake · 16/10/2006 12:26

F&Z, no offence intended to Dejags, and I apologise if it came accross that way. I was just writing my own pesonal opinion. And as I dont yet find MN a bore I am defending what I find to be a useful and interesting resource to parents.

As I ended it's a shame to loose someone who has such a wealth of experience they could share and possible help others with.

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