Which aspects of looking after a baby did you just not *get*?

[KateMumsnet]

Hello all

The eagle-eyed amongst you will have noticed that we've been making a few videos recently - if you haven't had a look, do nip over to our new Video page for a quick squizz. And do also subscribe to our YouTube channel: it takes literally 3 secs (and you won't be bombarded with YouTube emails, promise!).

Anyway - we're planning a series of 'How To' videos for new parents, and we thought we'd ask you to cast your mind back to those early days, and tell us which aspects of looking after a baby would have been much easier if you'd had a step-by-step video to help you. Things like 'how to swaddle a newborn' .

Do let us know what you'd have liked to have seen clearly demonstrated - whether newborn-related, or with older babies. We'd also love to hear the cunning baby and/or toddler care 'hacks' which have made life easier: we'll compile them into a vid to spread the joy.

Thanks in advance,

MNHQ

[aNoteToFollowSo]

Another vote for breastfeeding. With close ups of how to insert the boob into the baby's mouth - and a few different boobs would be needed for this i.e. ranging from small to huge norks - like mine :( No-one tells you, and in my case, no-one showed me. Cue six weeks of pain as baby nibbled on my nipple.

[NecesitoDormir]

Mine were: Latching on. Co-sleeping. Belly-button stump care.

[Evilwater]

Mine would be:
Breastfeeding!
I'm a third generational mum, who STILL has no clue how to breast feed. I tired for six weeks (which were hell). Then went to expressing where I couldn't keep up with PFB so I had to use formula.

My 'teaching' for breast feeding was a cheap doll and a woollen breast two months before baby was born. I still don't really understand nose to nipple.

That was it.

Please, please, please! Do an idiots guide.

[Evilwater]

Oh, can you do a little section on how it's ok, to bottle feed too? That it won't be the worse thing in the world, and how to cope with the HCP's judgement of you?

Thanks

[whereisshe]

Signs at different ages, since they go through development leaps and then the things you think you understand about their signs change! Eg show a tired baby at one month, 3 months, 5 months etc. ditto a hungry baby.

Also what does "babbling" really mean in terms of normal verbal development at various ages. DD (7mo) says "blah blah blah" a lot, I'm not sure this counts

[Iwillorderthefood]

Yes to all of it and especially the identifying emotions mentioned just upthread. I am rubbish at this and will be trying out this shortly.

[KateMumsnet]

As IonaMumsnet said, this is blimmin' gold. Thanks so much everyone and do keep 'em coming if more occur to you.

Ooh and do, do subscribe to our YT channel if you haven't already!

Thanks all, very much.

[Plonkysaurus]

How your postnatal body might not be all you hoped. I remember about a month after ds was born I suddenly found I couldn't walk properly, my hips were out of whack and my thighs did not want to cooperate. When I eventually managed to see my gp I was just told it was normal and to carry on.

So, bodily disfunctions, and the expectation that all women, no matter their struggles, are expected to take motherhood in their stride and just get on with it, battle scars and body issues and all!

[BertieBotts]

I agree with a car seat one. In fact there could be a few... how to tell if your child is too big for their current car seat (it's different for different kinds) how to tell if they're big enough to go into the next one. How to check your car seat is fitted securely. (It's not always obvious.) How to check the straps are done up tightly enough. General safety tips like checking in the manual whether the handle is supposed to be up or down - it does matter - and avoiding bulky coats and any after market products which aren't specifically tested. Maybe about the different kinds, especially at Group 1 - you've got extended rear facing, impact shield thingies, combination seats with Group 0, combination seats with Group 2 and 3, special swivelly ones, ones which recline, side impact protection, etc etc. Baffling amount of choice.

[AndIFeedEmGunpowder]

Yes Bertie! IMO buying a car seat more complicated than buying the actual car...

[whereisshe]

All the milestones in the red health book that you're supposed to record. I had to guess, since I don't know the difference between "baby did it once then lost interest for a month" vs "I think baby did it but actually I'm looking for the wrong signs" vs "this is what a pediatrician would actually consider meets that development milestone".

[Plonkysaurus]

When it's actually ok to start weaning. Waiting rigidly until 6 months even if they're sitting up and grabbing your toast (hard stare at ds) might not be great. Obviously guidelines exist for a reason, but the distinction between a guide and a hard and fast rule is understated. The importance of letting your baby lead you can be misunderstood by first time parents.

[spanky2]

When changing a boy baby's nappy, let the air get to his willy before removing the nappy or you'll get sprayed. Same with getting out of the bath, get the nappy on quick.

[McFox]

Adding a piece on how to breastfeed discretely in public would also be helpful - this seems easy for those who are small of nork, whereas I feel like I've just been heaving a massive boob out for all to see! Having never seen any family or friends do it previously its been a bit of trial and error and much embarrassment.

[PurplePidjin]

Something on how claustrophobic it can be having a baby in your personal space all the time. I love my son, I think I'm an adequate mother, but sometimes I just need my personal space back for 10 minutes!

[spanky2]

How hot they can be. Ds1 was like a hot water bottle! Feed on demand too. My mum insisted that ds1 should be fed every 4 hours. Rubbish! Blowing raspberries with food in the mouth. So many times I was covered in ds2's food.

[Thumbwitch]

Oh yes, spanky! DS1 and DS2 were both little pot-boilers - I was at risk of overheating DS1 because people kept telling me to wrap him up, but he would get so hot! And sweated through his head (they both do, as do I) to quite an alarming degree, especially if you then google it - there is still an old school of thought that babies don't sweat unless there's something wrong with them so I had the Fear that he had a heart issue or something. Bollocks of course; he was just a hot baby!

Plonkysaurus - how long ago did you have your baby? Have you considered seeing an osteopath to get straightened out again? I would heartily recommend it - mine kept me going through pregnancy with SPD, and sorted out my hyper-flexed sacrum after DS2, as well as straightening up my pelvis and fixing my sciatica etc. :)

[TheSkiingGardener]

Getting a raincover on a travel system buggy. It's a nightmare and you usually do it for the first time in a rush.

[Plonkysaurus]

Thumb he's 16 months, hips did eventually right themselves but I was quite worried at the time. Otherwise yes, an osteopath would've been the right way to go.

[RonSwansonsLushMoustache]

Sleep.

How long babies are supposed to nap, at what times each day, what time they're supposed to get up and go to bed each day.

I just couldn't get my head round how you're supposed to make a baby do all this when you want them to. It didn't help that DS would not sleep anywhere but on someone. Anyone actually.

In the end we just muddled through and thankfully we're out the other side now.

[AnnaLegovah]

Agree with plonky about the postnatal body - I ended up with DVT 6 months after DD was born. Went back to work, hit the ground running as you have to - and thought my body had recovered from the stress of a 'normal' birth/pregnancy. Turns out body was far from recovered and then came the DVT.

I was also told to suck it up by a GP - my heavily swollen leg/ankle was passed off as being 'fine' until the day I staggered into the physio unit at my hospital as I could no longer walk. They took one look at me and rushed me in, making me sit in a wheelchair. Scariest day of my life.

Nobody tells you this could be caused by pregnancy.

[AnnaLegovah]

I get that this isn't technically looking after baby.

[PlanetEarthIsBlue]

Some sort of warning to the effect that a really happy, placid baby can become a screaming, inconsolable baby within a matter of seconds when teething.

[Spirael]

Another one voting for different breastfeeding positions, I still haven't got my head around the rugby hold! Agree with different breast shapes and sizes, all the photos tend to be of reasonable sized, lovely perky breasts and mine definitely aren't that.

Also, tips on how to sit when breastfeeding with appropriate support/cushions/etc, to minimize back ache and master no-handed breastfeeding so you can play on the PS3 at the same time.