Come and talk to us (and Gransnetters) about the perimenopause

[RowanMumsnet]

Hello

As most of you will know, we've got a sister site, Gransnet, which recently celebrated its third birthday .

GNers have a wealth of experience in areas that some MNers may only just be starting to think about, or experience personally, and we thought it might be interesting (and, hopefully, fun ) to open up a conversation between the members of the two sites on some of these topics.

One issue that leapt out at us (or, perhaps more accurately, sidled up to us gradually as we entered the prime of life) is the perimenopause: a period of time before and after the transition into the menopause, when women may start to experience symptoms such as irregular periods, sleeplessness, changes in sex drive and vaginal dryness/itching, emotional ups and downs and so on. (Or may not, of course!)

Lots of GNers have been there and done that so far as the menopause is concerned, so we thought this might be a useful opportunity for MNers to ask some them any questions you may have, and for members of both sites to share some experience, hard-won knowledge and support.

Of course there will be MNers who know lots about the menopause and perimenopause, and GNers who have yet to experience either, so feel free to ask, answer, or both.

There's a parallel thread running on Gransnet; we'll cross-post some questions and answers between the two, but do get yourself a Gransnet log-in and pop over to say hello if you fancy it.

So... what have you always wanted to know about the perimenopause, but have been too afraid to ask?

My skin started drying out during the perimenopause - mid 40s onwards. I am now 52 and rarely if ever get spots, plus my skin is smoother than some women my age, I think because it was always so oily.

I'm still having periods but the last one was a couple of months ago so I'm wondering if this is it. I suddenly started on the hot flushes about a month ago. They seem to be triggered by the usual things (spicy food, wine , hot drinks) but also by emotion - if I feel a bit embarrassed or angry, that now seems to morph into a hot flush. They vary in intensity: sometimes they are not noticeable at all to other people, but at other times my face goes very very red. I think they are worse if I am already feeling a bit hot for external reasons like the weather or an overheated room.

One of the worst things is waking up slick with sweat, throwing off the duvet, getting cold as the sweat evaporates, getting under the duvet again, having another hot flush as a result ... and so on ... Also, during a hot flush I'm getting a horrible stinging sensation moving up the front of my body (a colleague has the same sensation but in her back). I'm having about 12 flushes a day at the moment. If it carries on like this I can see myself going for HRT even though I'm really not keen.

Elegran from Gransnet

"MorrisZapp It varies from one person to another, in intensity and in how often it strikes, so a description is a bit vague. Mostly they only last a few minutes each.

It is like an embarrassed blush that covers the whole body, bringing a lot of blood to the skin and making you feel very hot, as though you are in a room with the heating turned up unbearably high, with no chance of leaving.

It is not necessarily obvious to anyone else, so if you can ignore it and concentrate on the job in hand, no need to hide in the loos. If not, going and splashing water on the face (and/or down the cleavage, if that is feasible) can help. Keeping a bottle of water to hand and drinking a good slug can help to make you feel cooler, so can wearing layers of light clothes so that you can remove some (don't strip off completely though - that can lead to further complications socially)

At home you can open all the windows and strip off as much as you like, in that order if your windows are overlooked, take a cold shower, have an iced drink".

Oldgreymare from Gransnet

"To lazypepper..... I had a tendency to greasy skin particularly the 'T' zone, since the menopause my skin has dried significantly. My friends tell me I ought to use moisturisers (some of you will be throwing your hands up in horror, that I don't) but, since as a teenager, a tendency to become spotty if I put anything on my face, I just cannot get the hang of it!
I have, tho, graduated to a 'dry skin face wash' from a brand which offers 3 types.
I do use a lotion on my legs which have also become very dry.....
GNHQ..... can I mention brand names?"

JessM from Gransnet
"You just feel too bloody hot Morriszapp and convinced the room is too warm. In work you mutter "is it hot in here or is it me?" and elegantly peel off your outer layer (which needs to undo down the front - struggling to escape from a wooly jumper tends to make one bad tempered and a tad panicky).
Or if your corporate culture permits it you say "Hang on a minute chaps, I'm having another sodding hot flush - can we just take a 2 minute break while i go and stick my head under the tap"
I reckon they are good for the complexion - that extra oxygen etc pumping into your skin. "

Elegran from Gransnet
"You save a lot on central heating and blankets too. Until the OH complains. He won't like it when you decline a nice cosy cuddle either".

Anodomini from Gransnet

"Hot flushes were the only symptom I had, but it was a hot summer and I could never be sure if it was me or the weather - and they only happened in bed at night! In any case, they were over by the time autumn came along".

Thanks for the replies re skin. Fingers crossed mine does the same. Idt rather be wrinkly than suffer spottiness for more years to come.

I have another symptom for you...dry ear wax! Up until a year or two ago I had perfectly normal sticky ear wax. Now it is dry and flaky. Soz for TMI

Has anyone tried melatonin for night wakefulness, please? My flushes and joint aches are bearable, but I don't think I've slept through the night since my last period, back in the spring sometime. Am reluctant to go for HRT but would really like some sleep...

Great and timely thread. I am 45 and just had the following blood test results fsh 57 and lh 33. My last period was on my 45th birthday almost 2 months ago.
My periods have been random for maybe 5 or 6 years. 2 a month or nothing for 3 months. I than had "change of life " baby. When my periods returned they became 3 monthly and than monthly but lighter for 6 months. Interesting that my menopausal syptoms only occur in the cycles where I don't bleed.
Now not sure if april period will be my last or whether they will return.
Any advice from people who have been through this appreciated.
I am shattered with a toddler to look after.
Thank you.

Similar question to the earlier poster re mental health. Up to the age of 30 and birth of twins I had no mh issues but then had severe pnd.
I've read various things which suggest that I am now more likely to sufferer mh symptoms around menopause.
Would be interested to hear any experiences.
I'm 44 and think I'm in the early stages of perimenopause.

does the perimeno cause headaches? am 47, and always been prone to a headache at the end of my period, now its gone balmy and it late this month and head is banging, muggy weather not helping, have taken ibuprofen and paracetamol and nothing is touching it...help!!

This is such a great thread. My mum died in her 50's before we got a chance to discuss menopause and now I don't know who to ask about the symptoms I am currently experiencing in my mid-40s. Until now anyway!

My biggest annoyance is water retention. My breasts feel so swollen and heavy. All of my bras feel to small but I haven't actually gained any weight. I used to get water retention before my periods and it would go away once the period started. Now they feel heavy all time, my last period finished a week ago and my boobs feel enormous. Is this a common thing in the lead up to menopause?

Me too irish

I've been having peri menopausal symptoms for at least the past 12 months. I'm 40. The symptoms are..
-erratic periods, sometimes my usual 28 days but sometimes I can be 10 days early. And they go on for days.
-menstrual migraines. To the point that sometimes I have to take migraine drugs and lie in a darkened room or wear sunglasses inside

• worsening pmt. I become a different person. I throw things, swear and rant. It's hideous

-I've had about 3 hot flushes but not too bothersome thank goodness.

• burning and itching sensation down below. Feels a bit like thrush but isn't. But it just makes me scratch and scratch.

I've found some relief from the mood swings from giving up sugar so that I don't get highs and lows. I also try and not eat processed carbs but sometimes around my period I get so bloody hungry that I can't help myself!
I've changed my shower gel which has helped a bit with the itching down below.
I've just booked onto a stress and mood management course recommended by my GP.

I'm just hoping that this doesn't go on for years and years. I've had my kids so would happily have my periods stop.

what migraine drugs do you take queen? I tried everything over the counter and nothing touches it, its awful.

ssd sumatriptan is the only thing that touches it when it's bad. It's over the counter. The usual paracetamol/codeine/ibuprofen and even mefenamic acid (prescription painkiller) don't help me.

imigran

Queen

I've answered your other post on the other meno forum here but wondered if you had tried to help your peri symptoms with lifestyle changes?
Migraines (I get them now and then) are often linked to certain foods but more to fluctuations in blood sugar levels in some people; if I miss a meal ( eg lunch) I can almost guarantee a migraine will kick off.

There's also a lot to be said for starting to eat really healthily in the peri phase- so that means cutting out sugar and refined carbs, and loading up with lean protein, good fats, fruit and veg- but not fruit juice as it's the same as concentrated sugar. Caffeine and booze give the same highs as refined sugar so these don't help mood swings either.

Something like yoga or anything where you can reduce stress and switch off might help as well.

Just an extra post for anyone reading; you don't HAVE to suffer hot flushes! HRT is safe. The scares of 12 years ago have been knocked on the head as flawed. Latest research in Denmark showed that even after 17 years on HRT there was barely any increase in things like breast cancer and heart disease. Don't put up with symptoms when help is out there.

Thanks ab. I try to eat relatively healthily and feel so much better for giving up sugar. I keep thinking about giving up wine but don't think I can do it. I've given up diet coke and chocolate, I need to keep one vice . I don't think the migraines are set off by foods as they only occur on the day my period starts so I thnk definitely hormonal.

Oh hormonal migraines are very very common. You'd probably find the same with HRT regimes, and many women get migraine on the Pill before a bleed for the same reason.
Red wine does sometimes set off migraines, but alcohol itself has a definite link with PMT and peri meno symptoms.

hormonal migraines are the worst ever

I think I'm really struggling at the moment

I'm just 50, always had horrendous periods, until the last six months or so when I've only had three, this bit I like:)

Hot flushes, no sweating as such, but feel like I'm burning up and my arms go bright read, the urge to strip off is not good when it happens at work:)

This last few weeks I've had a lot of joint pain, back, hip, knees and ankles.

The worst thing are the moods. I am so bloody miserable. Can't seem to shake this off. Can't see anything to be happy about. It's fair to say my DH ain't to happy about this either:( Have had a couple of episodes of depression in the last ten years, am wondering if this is actually back or if indeed it is the menopause.

I just want to be happy again. Any idea where I go from here?

Thanks

Forgot to say I've put two stone on in the last year and my diet/eating habits are terrible:(