Come and talk to us (and Gransnetters) about the perimenopause

[RowanMumsnet]

Hello

As most of you will know, we've got a sister site, Gransnet, which recently celebrated its third birthday .

GNers have a wealth of experience in areas that some MNers may only just be starting to think about, or experience personally, and we thought it might be interesting (and, hopefully, fun ) to open up a conversation between the members of the two sites on some of these topics.

One issue that leapt out at us (or, perhaps more accurately, sidled up to us gradually as we entered the prime of life) is the perimenopause: a period of time before and after the transition into the menopause, when women may start to experience symptoms such as irregular periods, sleeplessness, changes in sex drive and vaginal dryness/itching, emotional ups and downs and so on. (Or may not, of course!)

Lots of GNers have been there and done that so far as the menopause is concerned, so we thought this might be a useful opportunity for MNers to ask some them any questions you may have, and for members of both sites to share some experience, hard-won knowledge and support.

Of course there will be MNers who know lots about the menopause and perimenopause, and GNers who have yet to experience either, so feel free to ask, answer, or both.

There's a parallel thread running on Gransnet; we'll cross-post some questions and answers between the two, but do get yourself a Gransnet log-in and pop over to say hello if you fancy it.

So... what have you always wanted to know about the perimenopause, but have been too afraid to ask?

One of the things that dawned on my during perimenopause was:
You either have periods or hot flushes, but not both at the same time. Oestrogen dips, no period, but maybe hot flushes. Might help you folks to figure out what is going on. Also - watch for ovulatory mucus - another sign that you are having a normal cycle (and are therefore fertile and likely to have a period in a couple of weeks)
Worst thing about perimenopause was much heavier periods for a year or so, before they got irregular and started to tail off.
Don't take HRT as had breast cancer in my 40s. Neither do I take supplements. There is no evidence that they work. (Go to the Cochrane website if you want to search for reviews of evidence).
Also herbal remedies are not necessarily any safer than HRT. If they have an effect on your hormones, then they have an affect on your hormones... Herbal remedies are not standardised in terms of dosage and are not tested for safety in anything like the same diligent way that prescribed medicines are.

The increased hairiness back of thighs, chin and nipples. It really makes you feel unattractive just when you need the cinfidence to cope with lack of sleep again.
The bonus is that I haven't had a period since August, they just sr=topped dead, no slowing down, really hope they don't start again.

47 here, regular as clockwork. Periods sluggish though, and a bit clotty, but they haven't changed much......But the night sweats, never in the day, but at night I drip like a tap, sometimes I wake up & have to strip the bed & me twice a night. DH had to sleep in spare room, unless he want to be engulfed in the waves of my sweat.. Poor love... How do I turn the tap off??

I wish I still had mine...

I am 49 and more or less through menopause - had years of hideous heavy periods in my mid forties, seemingly every five minutes, which led to anaemia (if you are in that stage and feel breathless and exhausted, get thee to a doctor and get iron tested - it took me embarrassingly long to realise given I am a vet and should have had some medical insight, therefore! Iron sorted it nicely.) I am now down to a very light period every few months, which is fine, and am also delighted no longer to have tender breasts, which had been painful for half of every month for thirty years or so, and especially during peri menopause.
At the moment I have not gone for HRT because my symptoms are relatively mild - just a few hot flushes and joint aches, which are really helped by exercise, and I am thinking about vagifem as described above. I am currently trying the menopace supplements and think I may have a bit more energy, but it's not made much difference. Would agree that refined sugar and carbs and alcohol are all really bad news - I have been gluten intolerant for years anyway but now eating even less cake type stuff, sadly. My main issue at the moment is waking with a hot flush pretty much every night at about 1:30 am. It's not a bad one, not too sweaty, and sometimes I get back to sleep easily but sometimes not; and I wake earlier than I'd like to most mornings, too. This is definitely linked to menopause because as someone said above, it stops when I do have a rare period. Does anyone have any suggestions of what's worked for night waking, please?
Thank you for an interesting thread.

From Mamie over at Gransnet www.gransnet.com/forums/ask_a_gran/a1207427-Perimenopause-Mumsnet-Gransnet-share-the-knowledge?msgid=25276502#25276502

Just wanted to add that the only thing that worked for me in the worst years of the menopause was HRT. All symptoms vanished and I had no side effects. It is worth reading up on the actual risks of HRT as some of the research that scared people so much was flawed. For me dietary supplements were the equivalent of being told that breathing in and out and singing jingle bells would deal with pain in childbirth (actually said at the ante-natal classes I went to in the seventies).
The Menopause Matters forum is brilliant.

And some more from Gransnet:

This from Oldgreymare - KristinaM, don't worry, I thought I was going for the world record as My periods didn't stop until I was 58! My cycle was about 28 days altho it did vary between 21 and 28 days towards the end. They also stopped quite suddenly! (I had 1 'rogue' period about 6 months after the first halt and that was about it!!!!) I was lucky to have few hot flushes and mine were of the 'dry' variety too so I thought little of them.
We're all different!

From Gadaboutgran:

I had a couple of years in my mid 50s when I had very heavy bleeding & really bad migraine. But once over, blessed relief, it's amazing how quickly you forget about them. I had a period 2 years after what I thought had been my last (unprepared at Tate Britain Late, just as my DD told me she was pregnant). Then another period 2 years later aged 60 at Kew Gardens when all tampon machines in the loo weren't working - had to ask a shy young male assistant for help). I could never find out the oldest a woman has had a last period - are dates ever recorded by GPs? I did have a check in case the bleeding was caused by another problem but it wasn't . Really I got off fairly lightly.

From Oldgreymare:

Meglet find a sympathetic young woman GP.

I think if you are having regular, normal periods chickydoo and hot flushes/night sweats at the same time you should see your doctor as there are other things that can cause these symptoms.
What I forgot to say was that caffeine, alcohol, chocolate, sugary desserts or spicy foods can all make for a more disturbed night if you are having hot flushes. Boring isn't it.
summaries.cochrane.org/CD007244/black-cohosh-cimicifuga-spp.-for-menopausal-symptoms - shows that jury still out on black cohosh - no particular reason to think it helps
summaries.cochrane.org/CD006108/exercise-for-vasomotor-menopausal-symptoms - same applies to exercise and hot flushes
summaries.cochrane.org/CD001395/phytoestrogens-for-vasomotor-menopausal-symptoms possibly genisten containing supplements help but not really enough decent evidence as yet on these substances.
There are lots more reviews in the pipeline but they will only be useful if proper placebo controlled studies have been carried out.

What effect does obesity have? If any. Am v obese. Am mid fifties and still ovulating normally, although with hot flushes from time to time and more blasted hair.

But DM's menopause went on till she was 78 or so.

Oldgreymare -thanks, that's reassuring

Imdadgeine - that's interesting, I exercise quite a lot and I don't eat gluten, spicy food or caffeine , so maybe I'm not noticing any mild symptoms that I do have

I also have an interactive thyroid so I'm on meds

I am wondering if I'm perimenopsusal too? I'm 42 & having periods about every 21 days. My cycles have been gradually getting shorter since I was 36.,I've been so dry & itchy down below & having constant thrush. My fat distribution is all round the middle

But on the other hand, I got pregnant very easily at 36, 39 & twice at 40. - although 2 of these ended in miscarriage. I wouldn't be so fertile if I was perimenopausal - right?

And I have no night sweats, mood swings (DP might not agree!).

My big concern, if I am perimenopausal, is heart disease. My mum had a quadruple bypass at 54 - and an early menopause. I also had severe, early PE which means I 'm at risk too.

Hi from another Gransnetter
I think the main point to make about the peri-menopausal and menopausal stages of life is that they're like everything else in life: there are no 'normals' .. we are all wonderfully unique!
Having said that, there are one or two things my experience and the experience of friends have shown to be normal-ish:

1. If you take HRT you do not escape the dreaded symptoms, you merely postpone them for a few years until your doctor decides to stop prescribing it. I never had HRT because at the time I was registered with a GP who was hell-bent on gaining the world record for the lowest ever recorded number of prescriptions written over a career in medicine. I now sit smugly with a smirk on my face as friends who sailed through their 50s on HRT are getting all the symptoms in their 60s sans-HRT.
2. Your ability to sleep will never recover from those years of night sweats! Having just got through the years of sleeplessness brought on be teens and twenties staying out all hours and scaring the life out of you (which followed just a short reprieve after the years of night feeds and toddler nightmares) you will resign yourself to never ever sleeping through the night again!
3. Don't think that you'll ever be free of hot flushes (although I prefer to call them power surges. It's more empowering) You may spend a couple of years smugly believing they've gone and then - wallop! - one hits you out of nowhere, and then they keep on coming for a few days or a few weeks before disappearing again. Stay alert, because the buggers will keep hitting you out of the blue for years and years and years to come. I have spoken to women in their 70s who've confirmed it still happens to them. On the bright side … body hair growth does slow down. Except in my case on my knees!! Why my knees?? They have always resembled rugs when left to grow wild, and I was looking forward to them suddenly becoming hairless. The rest of my legs are now virtually hairless, but the damn knees still resemble rugs!! Underarm hair pretty well disappears altogether. For me, that's about been it. I never experienced anxiety, mood swings, depression, achey joints, weight gain, vaginal dryness or soreness or anything else, so it doesn't have to be that bad. Perhaps I've just been lucky. Oh, and my libido is at an all-time high ladies. Something to look forward to

As others have said, there is no 'normal'.

Over the years I have come to the conclusion that hormones tend not to affect me too much:

I never had any pre-menstrual symptoms - no mood swings or similar, just average periods with a few minor stomach cramps.

During pregnancy I barely knew I was pregnant apart from lack of periods and the physical presence of a bump. No morning sickness or other side effects.

I had a slightly early pre-menopause and although I certainly did have some hot flushes, they didn't seem as bad as other people have reported. My periods slowed down over about 5 or 6 years before stopping but didn't get noticeably heavier in the meantime (having said that, I was using a contraceptive implant at the time, so that may have made a difference).
I didn't get the night sweats. I don't have mood swings / grumpiness or much else in the way of negative effects.
I don't have increased hairyness on my body - if anything less on my legs and public area yet the hair on my head is still as bushy as ever.
I seem to need less sleep than in my 20s and 30s but do agree with others that I wake in the night a bit more.
Someone up-thread mentioned palpations. I did suffer from these on and off for a few years but don't know if this was related to the peri menopause.

Overall, the menopause has not been something that got in the way of life - almost the only thing I can think of that I changed was to start wearing easily removable cardigans rather that jumpers.

This has been a bit of a revelation for me, I hadn't even heard or perimenopause. I'm 44 this year and the last 12 months have been a nightmare for me. My periods have become very heavy and irregular. I sometimes, but not often, get nightsweats in which I wake up soaked. My PMT symptoms are much worse than they have ever been, I'm up and down and completely unpredictable. I can sometimes hear how unreasonable I am but can't stop myself, I get very tearful and am anxious a lot of the time.

This may or may not mean I am currently going through the perimenopause. It would be good to know these symptoms are normal and that they will pass.

From Harrigran at Gransnet:
"The perimenopause started when I was 46 and was confirmed by a blood test. Periods became very heavy and very painful but thankfully I had no other symptoms. I was 55 when I eventually went through the menopause so the whole process took more than 9 years.
Don't worry about the hairiness it can be sorted, pluck, pluck and more plucking. The hairs do get finer with constant removal".

ffinnochio at gransnet
"Night sweats - get a fan! I found this to be invaluable. I bought a tall free standing one which had 3 settings, worked by remote control from the bed. I dumped the duvet and used layered cotton sheets/toppers of different weights.

I still get hot at times - usually at 5am in the morning - but the dripping sweats have now diminished considerably".

Judthepud2 from Gransnet:
"I think the work up to the menopause is worse than after periods stop. That was such a relief to me! From about 46 my PMT got much worse and the periods were extremely heavy for about 2 years. I used to take black cohosh tabs from Holland & Barrett which seemed to moderate the flushes a bit. For the flushes I found wearing light cotton clothes helpful. And light cotton NIGHTIES rather than pyjamas best at night time. Someone suggested drinking water when a flush started which also worked for me.

Most of all, I think trying to take a positive approach to menopause as the end of the tyranny of periods was useful. Beginning of another stage in life. Hard I know when you feel tired and uncomfortable. I felt so much healthier after my periods and flushes stopped........although had to through flushes, sleeplessness and exhaustion all again with hormone therapy after breast cancer!!!"

More from Judthepud2

"Oh yes....and get one of those little canisters of water spray! Boots have them. Great for cooling down during a flush.www.saga.co.uk/health/body/perimenopause-symptoms-and-treatments.aspx?XCID=SocialMediaPU&PLA=TWPU&CRE=Health

Just picked up this useful link to an article on the menopause from Saga Magazine. Thanks Twitter!"

Marking place. Thanks to all the Gransnet users for the advice.

Marmight from Gransnet says...

"This perimenopause is news to me too! I was very lucky all through my life - 28/30 day cycle from 13 until I was 52 when I had a couple of very heavy periods one of which happened at a very posh 'do' when I had to disappear into the loo and stuff my knickers with loo roll (luckily I was wearing dark red silk trousers!) and since that day - nothing. I had no hot flushes, sweats, headaches or anything else. What a relief it was to be free and, strangely, the libido improved thereafter . I feel very lucky to have survived so easily and wish all you Mumsnetters a similar experience......"

Any advice from veggie G'netters.......don't want to go down the HRT route..... So, any tips on what worked for you would be great (am hairy, grumpy and cycle length is getting longer and periods vary from heavy/flooding to light/negligible and PMS is almost bloody constant) - thank you

I am not filled with joy at the thought of periods until my mid/late 50s... so thank you for this thought!