Exciting announcement - Mumsnet to run NHS maternity wards

[JustineMumsnet]

We're thrilled to announce that Mumsnet is going to be leading the NHS trial to outsource maternity wards - see the full announcement here. Over the next few weeks we'll be popping up regularly for feedback on how you'd like maternity wards to operate and to hone our plans. The aim is simple - to make the UK maternity wards the envy of the world. Move over Bounty, it's time for #MNHS!

Love it HQ!

Dedication to the cause, Juggling

Gwyneth absolutely is the spokesperson for this initiative. Although I think then gin might be out and mung bean juice mixed on Tibetan hilltops might be in.

I also second tribpot's idea for a gas'n'air drop-in. Speaking as the only person who sampled it and then had to dragged away when touring maternity wards.

Well, I think we need to be careful about which bits we'd be giving gwyneth responsibility for. Hideously twee naming policies: yes, absolutely. Ridiculously poncy new age crap: who else? Drinks and entertainment: no way in hell.

Love it!
Can't wait to work in one, am a mw.
How about screening male doctors too.....only George Clooney, Bradley cooper types may apply, loooovly.
Also don't forget manicure, pedicure, hairdressing services, always make me feel better.

Aaaargh let me think for a minute I'm sure I'll come up with some more brilliant ideas. Currently busy wiping tears
[not marking place, oh no..]

I would like someone to give me a round of applause, glass of champagne and chocolate truffles just after baby arrives!

We could bring in Peter Andre to talk to expecting fathers about what it's like to love your children so much

I forgot it was April fools day and believed it !

08.05 Mumsnet are taking over NHS maternity wards, and about time too if their promises of 'gin bars', free WiFi and queen beds with luxury goosedown mattress toppers are true. (They're not true but you know what we mean.) No mention of sparkling water-filled penis beakers next to every bed but Mumsnet CEO Justine Roberts does reveal:
For some, the most important part of the experience will be access to a brazilian blow-dry in order to be salon-ready for the baby photos, and our mission is to facilitate that choice.

Good one

The concept of Peter and Gwyneth together is untapped showbiz gold, BrainSurgeon. I see them appearing on TVs on the wards in the way that I believe our good friend Mr Lansley used to - or perhaps in realistic cardboard cutouts like the woman at Kings Cross that reminds you not to take your luggage on the escalator.

I'd like free yoni massages to prepare for birth, and bouncers on the doors, to prevent unwelcome in-laws!

The Orange One can run the creche for older siblings.
He could teach them to sing!

When this really happens, sign me up!

All DP's to be allowed to stay overnight in private rooms!

...complimentary bottle of champagne with my toast?

Never in a million years . Happy 1 April .

Thank you for leaving this up past midday, otherwise I would have missed it! Well done

i really, really wish it was real, can you imagine

Can you imagine the queue of pale looking men at the 'Gin Bar' post birth, reiterating Robbie Williams concerns about their favourite pub burning down.

Aaaah free yoni massages, of course! How could I forget - such an essential part of pre-natal care

Today is Fools day?

yes, sand, it is. Though not past 12 though, so we ought to stoppit now

The reason this was quite a good April fools thing is that on first glance something ridiculous like outsourcing maternity services to a parenting website is exactly the kind of dreadful policy we've come to expect from the coalition government.

The thing that gives it away is that some of it actually sounds good

Are we sure this isn't real?? I work in procurement in the NHS and the below is scarily accurate NHS speak......

"Mumsnet was chosen to pilot the scheme after an extensive 5-step tender process. "The Mumsnet bid stood out because of their innovative proposal to marry a patient-led birth experience with sustainable income generation via the provision of paid-for service upgrades and exploitation of other commercial opportunities".

Scrap the Lotus spread and replace with confiture de lait/dulche de leche - much better.