Mumsnet Christmas Appeal - suggestions please

[JustineMumsnet]

Following on from a couple of threads discussing the Christmas appeal over the weekend, I thought we should post our thoughts on things.

First we're really sorry if not being nominated for this year's appeal has made anyone feel bad or left out. Obviously it's the opposite of why we do it but the truth is there will always be deserving people who, for whatever reason - frequent namechanges or pure and simple oversight - will be overlooked.

Over the years the Xmas appeal really has brought a lot of joy both to the givers and receivers of gifts - this is a typical post/mail from a giver:

"It is a wonderful thing this Santa business. It totally dispels the idea that Mumsnet is no more than words on a screen and shatters the notion of the pit of vipers. Since being matched with you, not a day has passed when I haven't thought of you and your family. Your posts shine with warmth, humour and love for your family. You are a remarkable woman. For me, it has been more than sending a little something: you have made me really think about what Christmas should be.
So I thank you too, and will raise a glass to you and yours on Christmas Day. Much love to you all"

As Christmas becomes every more about consumption we think the appeal for many is a reminder of what it is really all about. It certainly is for us at MNHQ and consequently we are very happy to put a lot of MNHQ resource into the operation; SandyMumsnet pretty much devotes a month of time to it.

Clearly it doesn't operate optimally for everyone, but net net, it really is a good thing I believe. That said we'd value suggestions about how you think we could do it better. We took over the operation of the appeal only because it was becoming too big a job for any individual - but it was conceived by Mumsnetters for Mumsnetters and exists pretty much in the same form as that original idea.

Do let us know your thoughts and suggestions here.

[AnyaKnowIt]

Don't change the name

All you had to do was rtft the find out what it was all about

[TantrumsAndBalloons]

Are you ok tee?

[tootiredtothink]

Leave it as it is....and IF you have to be PC then maybe do the cheer/kindness suggestion. Although sure they'll be people very quick to complain they're being 'bullied' next year as no-one wants to offer them any cheer!

[LeGavrOrf]

One thing, thanks Justine for asking.

You could have well ignored this after last nights thread descended into scones, jam and cream.

[TEErickOrTEEreat]

Nope. Thanks for asking tantrum.

[BellaVita]

Leave it as it is.

Am sure there isn't a posse of Mner's who nominate each other whoever mentioned that up thread. A klaxon would definitely be going off in MNHQ.

[Northernlurker]

I don't think anything needs changing. I don't think people should feel they have to keep quiet about being nominated, donating or receiving either. The 'codenames' can be used for the official thank you thread to preserve address anonymity. That thread and any others can be hidden by any poster who feels the need. There is nothing wtrong with the arrangements that currently stand and I think the recent het up atmosphere has nothing to do with the appeal and everything to do with a small sub set of posters having chips on their shoulders.


BTW to 'appeal' means to 'make a serious, urgent, or heartfelt request'

I think you'd find that every single nomination comes from a poster feeling there is a serious, urgent and/or heartfelt need for the nominated person to have something nice happen. The mumsnet appeal is not about need necessarily but it is about the gift of giving.

[DameDeepRedBetty]

I'm afraid I've always assumed the Christmas Appeal was a charitable donation thing. Since I've already earmarked the charitable funds, I've always ignored it.

Now that I know what it really is, I'm not comfortable with it, I suspect if I were nominated I'd have to politely say thanks but no thanks. The intention is lovely, but it's all too easy for it to turn into a popularity contest.

[HereComesHoneyBooBooDragon]

Yes in regards to that. I find it interesting when a poster explains all about groups of mnetters having secret meetings in bids to take over Mumsnet, pick on posters, or just steal all the presents.

If it's so secret how does that particular poster know about it unless

They were doing it
They were told about

And if it was either of the above, why choose to mention it? They could either be outed as quite horrible for doing it or spreading a heresy.

Or they could simply have fabricated it themselves?

I think posts pertaining to things like that should not be taken as gospel personally.

[Jux]

I think it's great the way it is. I haven't seen any suggestions of how to change it, that don't make it a lesser and impoverished thing.

Agree with every word Northernlurker says.

[CiderwithBuda]

A I said on yesterday's thread I think it is very sad that this has all turned out like this. I have been around for years and have donated every year since the first Appeal was starts by Soapbox in response to the heartbreak caused by the collapse of Farepak or whatever it was called. So many MNers were facing not being able to buy anything for Xmas for their children through no fault of their own.

The appeal has evolved over the years as these things do. And it's gotten bigger as the site is bigger and more well known.

So I do think calling it the Christmas Appeal is a little misleading these days as it's not the same as it used to be. Which is fine. Things do change. But the name is obviously causing some confusion so why not let the name evolve the same way the Appeal has.

I completely agree that people shouldn't nominate themselves. I also feel a bit uncomfortable about anyone nominating their own children although in the case of the first appeal which was purely to deal with hardship, people were asked to nominate their DCs.

I think generally the way the whole thing has evolved is great and really lovely in lots of ways but I honestly don't feel the same way as I used to about it all. And I'm not entirely sure why! I think my concern is that some MNers who really deserve acknowledgement will be forgotten as people will assume they have already been nominated. I'm sure some people will be nominated every year. Some deservedly and yet others equally deserving will not. It's all a minefield now.

[SilasGreenback]

I think it should be changed quite a lot.

I thought the original idea was for people to pass on good quality second hand stuff/ things they had duplicates of. Then it seemed to get a bit competitive giving both by mumsnetters and companies (didn't one year GLTC give a playhouse?)

I think it should be changed so that local co ordinators act as a collection point for gifts from local mumsnetters and then take all parcels to a shelter /women's aid/hospice - basically cut out the posting of parcels all over the place.

If people want to donate a gift to a specific person they contact that person themselves. Or if a group who are known to each other want to do a secret Santa among themselves they sort it offline.

Things that have put me off it are

A) someone saying they had spent more on just the postage than they had on a gift for quite a close family member - which made me think the stuff would have been better passed on to local Christmas gift collection.

B) a discussion about someone receiving a barely worn monsoon cardigan for a very young child - good passing on - and commenting how someone had given vouchers they would use to buy the matching dress. The responses were along the lines of excellent tiny children must have new clothes for Christmas day and all I could think of is - fools, it's that sort of mentality that means you will just continue to overspend and be in difficulty.

C) the second year I sent off a parcel with lots of little bits for a stocking - mainly extra stuff I had bought to make up party bags - plus a voucher. The voucher was the only thing acknowledged although much more care on my part went to wrapping the stocking and buying the extra bits to add. In the new year my match suddenly seemed to be better off than maybe her nominator had thought - she probably didn't care for or need £15 or so of stocking stuffers, but hard cash as a voucher could be used.

I maybe be a bit bar humbug compared to everyone else, I just think this has grown so beyond it's original scope (as the site has grown), it is open to abuse and I think by giving to refuges / via food banks etc there is more chance it goes to most needy (but maybe less 'loveable') families.

[usualsuspect]

I'm a bit put of donating now if it's all a bit competitive donating.

[Hullygully]

I donated a plane and all I got was a walnut. And I have NUT ALLERGIES. So thanks so much you Christmas bastards.

[CiderwithBuda]

Well tbh I think it's easy to limit what gets donated really. Just make sure everyone knows it's token gift to a certain value. Say £10. Also has the added benefit of hopefully not making it all so attractive to those who may come on in sept/oct with sob stories.

[usualsuspect]

Tbh I wish I'd done what I do every year and kept out of it.

[HereComesHoneyBooBooDragon]

How can the donating be competitive if no knows what you've put

[RatherBeOnThePiste]

At heart it is a very special thing, to change it means that would be lost, and what a shame that would be.



We are not giving to receive, someone thought and nominated, for whatever reasons, MNHQ will know why, we are giving to another to share the Christmas spirit.

I love it. Tis magic.

I disagree about the popularity contest. So many boards and threads, we move round different parts of Mumsnet, lots of the folk I chat with others will not have heard of and vice versa. Quietly, folk can make a huge difference to the lives of others. I see it all the time. Folk helping others, not for the show of it, but because they are utterly fabulous, happens all over MN and that is very often where nominations go.




And let us not forget that no one has to join in if it is not for them.






Anyway lovely MNHQ, tis a jewel in your crown. Leave it be.

[LeGavrOrf]

What a lovely post pistey.

[Jux]

I'd also quote like to keep the threads by the miserable buggers complaining, because I'd like to ow who they are

[usualsuspect]

Well I dunno,Honey.

I keep reading posters saying some people were disappointed and not happy about what they recieved.

But I've never read a thank you thread so I don't know how true that is.

[Jux]

'quite' and 'know' rather than 'quote' and 'ow'

[LeGavrOrf]

That's very nice Silas that you went to the effort to make a stocking etc. something like that is very special.

I am too bone idle and lack any skills so I just stick to vouchers.

Apropos of fuck all. I remember one year when dd was little and I was utterly skint I made pomanders for everyone. Bought a load of oranges, cloves and some ribbons and spent evenings making the fucking things and cut my fingers to shreds (bastard cloves). Everyone just looked at them and said 'what the fuck are these?' Not a success. Kirstie Allsopp my arse.

[HereComesHoneyBooBooDragon]

Well, as I don't usually see those threads I shall keep donating.