Mumsnet Christmas Appeal - suggestions please

[JustineMumsnet]

Following on from a couple of threads discussing the Christmas appeal over the weekend, I thought we should post our thoughts on things.

First we're really sorry if not being nominated for this year's appeal has made anyone feel bad or left out. Obviously it's the opposite of why we do it but the truth is there will always be deserving people who, for whatever reason - frequent namechanges or pure and simple oversight - will be overlooked.

Over the years the Xmas appeal really has brought a lot of joy both to the givers and receivers of gifts - this is a typical post/mail from a giver:

"It is a wonderful thing this Santa business. It totally dispels the idea that Mumsnet is no more than words on a screen and shatters the notion of the pit of vipers. Since being matched with you, not a day has passed when I haven't thought of you and your family. Your posts shine with warmth, humour and love for your family. You are a remarkable woman. For me, it has been more than sending a little something: you have made me really think about what Christmas should be.
So I thank you too, and will raise a glass to you and yours on Christmas Day. Much love to you all"

As Christmas becomes every more about consumption we think the appeal for many is a reminder of what it is really all about. It certainly is for us at MNHQ and consequently we are very happy to put a lot of MNHQ resource into the operation; SandyMumsnet pretty much devotes a month of time to it.

Clearly it doesn't operate optimally for everyone, but net net, it really is a good thing I believe. That said we'd value suggestions about how you think we could do it better. We took over the operation of the appeal only because it was becoming too big a job for any individual - but it was conceived by Mumsnetters for Mumsnetters and exists pretty much in the same form as that original idea.

Do let us know your thoughts and suggestions here.

[Fenton]

But when you nominate you give a reason, like she's on her knees, she gave me great advice, she made me smile when I felt low, - HQ would know surely if mates were nominating mates just because, and surely we're mature enough not to do that anyway?

[dreamingbohemian]

Is it so awful to suggest changing the name? Because I think that's mostly what people are suggesting and I'm not sure that makes us evil or heartless bitches or anything.

I honestly don't care about being nominated, I don't feel I have a personal stake in this at all. It just seems, from reading the threads, that there are people who were misled into donating because they thought it was going to really destitute people, and others who are destitute and feel overlooked. So calling it something other than Appeal solves both those problems.

[TeaMakesItAllPossible]

I'm another leave it as it is.

It's a lovely thing. Personally, I don't mind the name Christmas Appeal - largely because I tend to think of the word has having a wider context than charity donations. Appeal also means to request.

If the name changes I agree with the suggestion up thread that Christmas Kindness is better than secret santa.

As a donor I'd prefer to give to someone who has been nominated by someone else rather than nominated themselves.

I like the threads saying that people have been nominated because it's lovely to hear how much it means to individuals. I like that there are people I recognise being appreciated and people that I don't recognise. Please don't stop the threads about it before the official thank you thread, the process is so long it's nice to hear about it as it gets closer to the big send. I think that's part of the appeal of the appeal

I don't think there should be conditions on receiving the gift, like acknowledging receipt of the parcel. Some of the people who have been nominated are at rock bottom. I would hate that the pressure to say thank you was another thing they'd have to deal with. If I wanted to know that much as a donator couldn't I send it signed delivery?

I like it just the way it is

[JosephSnail]

I think I may be the person quoted in the OP.
To clear up the confusion, I didn't know who I was sending to but the info I was sent about her and her family rang a bell and made me think about that particular poster.
When she posted her thanks, it was confirmed. The quoted words are my response to her thanks.

[LeGavrOrf]

I see what you are saying fright that it could be open to abuse, but I am pretty sure that people don't just nominate their mates. People aren't that silly are they?

[Onesleeptillwembley]

I will go back on what I said - people should NOT be allowed to nominate themselves or their children, if that has happened. What sort of person does that?
Apart from that, I stick with my no change.

[usualsuspect]

I didn't know you were sent info about the poster you were donating to.

I thought you were just given an address and number.

Although it does make sense to be given some info,but that's a lot of work for MNHQ.

[blondieminx]

I often read what BOF says, and nod. I agree on this issue too.

I love being involved and it is a lovely thing to be part of. One of my new traditions is reading the thank you thread with a glass of something festive and having a little sniffle about how lovely and supportive the site is in the main.

My only (teeny tiny) suggestion is that it would be handy to have the match email sent a bit earlier (which may be happening this year anyway)... Last year I was matched to a Canadian mumsnetter and the last posting date was very near, and I worried it wouldn't arrive in time. I was a bit concerned that the poster knew they'd been nominated and might not have received anything before the big day IYSWIM?

don't let a few whingers spoil a luffly luffly thing

MNHQ for all that you do in coordinating as I realise it must be a mammoth job!

[TeaMakesItAllPossible]

usual it isn't much information.

Last year I got given a bit of basic information to help with the purchasing of gift .... there was number of children, gender and age of children and, I think, there was an option for those nominated to include some relevant information if they felt appropriate, so in my case I got a little bit of detail about the family circumstance.

I found out who got my gift on the thank you thread and I was bloody pleased to have done something nice for such a wonderful lady.

[MurderOfBanshees]

The only thing I'd change is the name (and even then only to stop people getting their knickers in a twist), otherwise I don't see that anything needs to change.

Maybe as Porsche suggested, adding a way to thank the people doing the nominating, feels wrong not being able to say thank you for something so kind.

[MrsCampbellBlack]

I do think it was very special in the days when it was how Fright described. But then there always the influx of hard luck stories just before the appeal which made many people

I misread secret santa as secret satan and was rather perplexed .

I think mn christmas appeal is fine, its explained what it is and people can choose whether or not to get involved.

[bassetfeet]

Keep it as it is . Change the name if it upsets to Christmas Cheer or Kindness .

I dont think nominating yourself would ever work. A bit like asking random strangers to send you cards . No glow there or recognition and knowing who you are and why you have touched someone enough to be nominated. Dont get that at all . Would make me feel worse .

Fine as it is . Thank you Rowan and headquarters ..must be a headache at times .

[FTRscreamingInTerror]

I'm not sure that my opinion counts for much as I've only been here a year so I don't know how it was at its creation.

However I am another vote for no change.

I nominated and donated last year. Unfortunately there was no message in the thank you thread from my mner and I was disappointed, not because I wanted the thanks but I just wanted to know it had arrived safely and someone didn't think they'd been forgotten.
If people don't want to post on the thank you thread perhaps a pm to MNHQ to say a parcel had arrived would be good.

Aside from that my impression of the whole thing is that it exists to help those in need and to give thanks to those who have made a difference to someone, which may be as small as a post that's stuck with someone and made them feel better. It's not a competition or some 'give your mates a gift' conspiracy and it seems a shame that a few vitriolic posters might ruin the whole thing for those it really makes a difference to.

For various reasons I wasn't able to donate this year but this whole palaver has made determined to participate next year.

[viperslast]

On the subject of the name I think it depends how you read it. Personally I feel it is an appeal for nominations for a lovely idea not an appeal for things to be pledged although you can't have one without the other obviously.

It is an eye of the beholder situation, some will see it as grabby others as an opportunity for kindness. But that says more about the "beholder" than the appeal imo.

[LeGavrOrf]

That's true Maryz, you don't give to receive. And you're right that some people could be in a bad way and may not get round to posting their thanks.

[TEErickOrTEEreat]

Good point, Maryz.

No one is trying to make anyone else feel better, I am sure.

[LeGavrOrf]

Secret Satan is a good idea.

[TEErickOrTEEreat]

Feel better? No. Feel bad.

Would it be wrong to go to be now?

[TEErickOrTEEreat]

FFS. Go to bed now.

I swear I really am...

[MillyMollyMully]

Another vote here for Secret Satan.

[LeGavrOrf]

Haha tee.