Mumsnet Christmas Appeal - suggestions please

[JustineMumsnet]

Following on from a couple of threads discussing the Christmas appeal over the weekend, I thought we should post our thoughts on things.

First we're really sorry if not being nominated for this year's appeal has made anyone feel bad or left out. Obviously it's the opposite of why we do it but the truth is there will always be deserving people who, for whatever reason - frequent namechanges or pure and simple oversight - will be overlooked.

Over the years the Xmas appeal really has brought a lot of joy both to the givers and receivers of gifts - this is a typical post/mail from a giver:

"It is a wonderful thing this Santa business. It totally dispels the idea that Mumsnet is no more than words on a screen and shatters the notion of the pit of vipers. Since being matched with you, not a day has passed when I haven't thought of you and your family. Your posts shine with warmth, humour and love for your family. You are a remarkable woman. For me, it has been more than sending a little something: you have made me really think about what Christmas should be.
So I thank you too, and will raise a glass to you and yours on Christmas Day. Much love to you all"

As Christmas becomes every more about consumption we think the appeal for many is a reminder of what it is really all about. It certainly is for us at MNHQ and consequently we are very happy to put a lot of MNHQ resource into the operation; SandyMumsnet pretty much devotes a month of time to it.

Clearly it doesn't operate optimally for everyone, but net net, it really is a good thing I believe. That said we'd value suggestions about how you think we could do it better. We took over the operation of the appeal only because it was becoming too big a job for any individual - but it was conceived by Mumsnetters for Mumsnetters and exists pretty much in the same form as that original idea.

Do let us know your thoughts and suggestions here.

'Appeal' is definitely misleading. I was really surprised to discover from these threads that it wasn't just about donations to needy mners anymore. The thing has evolved into something very different, which is some people's cup of tea but not everyone's.

Also wanted to say, it's a bit depressing how vitriolic some of the posts supportive of the appeal have been on recent threads. I know that some (not all) criticisms of the appeal have been unreasonable, but it still seems very tainting to speak hatefully in support of something kindly, and to distort, sometimes, the stance of people with whom you disagree.

I know letsface. It's late, my post made sense in my head. Doesn't make quite so much sense when I read it back, but what's new I do know how it works.

What I don't really understand about it is that MN say that vouchers are a good gift, but if you read the thank you thread this seems to be universally ignored. Are vouchers a good gift? Is this the same question as is it really an Appeal?

But letsface, the person I was referring to posted on another thread saying that all they could afford to donate was some Boots points or Tesco points, but wanted to do what they could to help. It made me think that they didn't understand that it wasn't going to help needy people.

I feel better now knowing that MNHQ will match that donation with someone who needs it, IYSWIM.

Northern It doesn't make me livid, but it does make me sad. I nearly had a nervous breakdown when I did this (the sudden SAHM to job I was waiting for didn't help in that)

I have a memory of being snowed in in Scotland, at the IL's. Their internet went down, we had bought a mobile dongle, but were in a no signal area. So DH climbed up the nearest hill, and held my netbook in the air, and got signal, and 90 matching emails got sent.

I so wish I had taken a photo (could just see his silouette against the clouds)

yoni!

That does sound stressful.

God Yoni I remember that, you done great, girl

We loved you even MORE for your, and dh's heroics, above and beyond.

I posted this on the other thread, but will repost as AFAIK it hasn't been covered yet here.

Can I ask, MNHQ, whether you would consider limiting nominations to once only? A few people have said that they have been nominated or have nominated the same person several years running. Could you limit awards to once only and encourage people to think each year of a new poster who they'd like to put forward? That way things would be spread further in the long term, and it would allay the feeling that the popular posters get on the list all the time (note: I am not saying that this I what actually happens, just that it is a perception), because you wouldn't just get given something several years running.

And the use of 'appeal' should definitely change. Yes, I know the dictionary definition; yes, I know it doesn't have to refer to charitable organisations as such; yes, I know it's all explained by MHHQ if people care to look. But not everyone does. Quite a few posters have explained that they have seen the word 'appeal', assumed it to be something it's not, and continued on their merry way. So why insist on keeping a term that is known to cause confusion? Language takes its meaning from the way it is used, day in and day out, and the general use of 'appeal' to indicate charity efforts for the needy/distressed clearly has an effect on the way people see this. If the initiative is so fabulous, it's not going to be spoiled by a name change. However, such a change might make it more attractive and understandable to those who don't yet take part.

I like the 'Mumsnet Warm and Fuzzy Festive Donation Scheme' as suggested by a poster on the previous thread - sorry, I've forgotten your name again but I like the idea . I have added the 'Festive' myself. You're welcome.

Again, I have never been nominated so have no axe etc...but that is nonsense, Mellow. If someone is a kind and thoughtful person, helping others year in and year out, why on earth shouldn't they be nominated each year? Perhaps it is their kind personality that makes them "popular."

This isn't primary school and star of the week where everyone has to get it at least once.

We are all (allegedly) grown up. I literally can't believe that grown women are thinking Snot Fair, or having begrudging thoughts about acts of warm hearted kindness and gratitude.

I really do think there are some people who want to tear this site to shreds.

ALERT THAT IS NOT A PERSONAL ATTACK. I DO NOT MEAN ANYONE IN PARTICULAR. I CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER PEOPLE'S BLOODY NAMES.

I have watched this thread with interest and now have changed mind wrt Secret Santa name. Secret Santa isn't quite right because of the giving AND receiving, I forgot the and receiving bit of SS.

So, another name....thinking cap on. I do see how Christmas Appeal could be confusing.

Morning . Has the slug arrived yet?

I am only allegedly grown up, but yes I see some very destructive stuff going on, and am feeling protective!

Someone suggested limiting noms to one each, I don't agree with that, I like it the way it is. One int enough sometimes, tis tricky enough not doing a squillion as it is. I try to do noms and dons in equal measure, but that is just me.

I think Northern Lurker's post is excellent @ Mon 21-Oct-13 23:36:53.

To be honest I'm really upset by this whole debacle and it's left a bitter taste in my mouth. I've been lurking since 2009, but signed up later as I couldn't cope with posting. I think the appeal/ Kevin is wonderful. The thank you threads are very emotional. This is the first year I've donated/ nominated and I was proud and happy to be part of something. MN is very important to me. You lot are sometimes the only people I talk to all day. I recognise a lot of posters. I was just happy to been joining in. I couldn't give a monkey's who my gift goes to - it's exactly as NL describes.

I really think that some posters need to be removed from this site as their attitude does fit with what MN is about. I will probably cry when I post my package.

I don't think posters should be removed from the site for having an alternative point of veiw.

Unless they are deliberately stirring up trouble.

I mean the trouble stirrers. Removing alternative points of view would have an undesired effect on AIBU.

The slug has eaten my antlers

So,Exit got the slug?

That's not fair

keep it as it is. (Don't allow self nominations though.) This is mumsnet at its very best.

I was nominated last year at a truly horrendous time for myself and my family. No idea why I was nominated but even just knowing that I had was the biggest boost to me. Receiving the gift was lovely too but simply the icing on the cake.

I love the Christmas Kevin Appeal. One year I worked out who the recipient was and she was a "good-egg" who I knew nothing about but I was in awe once I discovered what she did in a specific area of the site. The next time I got no thanks but I still sniffled my way through the Thank you thread. I assumed that whatever had caused them to be nominated in the first place had just caught up with them and they weren't able to post.

Something said up thread made me wonder if we could have a New Year re-gift thread where people can offer up items - either from Christmas or even just that they have (used or new). I know its hard to tell if people are genuine but I prefer to assume the good than get hung up with the potential bad.

And adding in a second idea and making it more complicated but perhaps more like an Appeal - maybe instead of sending gifts individually to posters, the local Mumsnetters could co-ordinate, nominate and vote for an appropriate local one (or two) to support.

But anyway don't change the Kevin, its lovely just the way it is

The slug ate your antlers?

Now, there is a personal attack!

Am really looking forward to finding out who we are choosing for, tis really magic, do the thinking and shopping with my kids, and as someone said up thread, we also try to work out who it might be, haven't managed it yet!

Huge thanks to Sandy for all she does in this, sorting out Woolly Hug lovely folk/donations/wool etc is a big enough job for Knotty and me, but this is in a whole different league! Love to see that spreadsheet!! Utmost respect for her and thanks, huge thanks.

cheers Sandy!

This ha made me very sad. I'm not well known but I was nominated. I don't know why and I'm sure there will be some who think I deserve nothing and maybe they are right?

I've had a bad year, some of which I've posted about some I haven't. September is month I've completely written off and banished to the dark recesses of my mind.

Financially we are on our arse but compared to some on here we live like kings. It's all subjective and individual.

I can't tell you what it meant to me to get that email saying I had been nominated. To know that one person felt I was worth enough to take te time to nominate me etc means more than I will ever be able to say.

All this though is slowly spoiling it for me. I feel like I have somehow done something wrong by being fortunate enough to get a nomination and think actually I don't deserve it.

Whatever te bones of the original appeal I'm pretty sure it wasn't to make posters feel badly about themselves.

New Year re-gift threads would work really well in Mumsnet Local, because there need be no tedious packing up and no postage. Could be fun.

Northern's post - "it's the little present thrust into your hand by someone who has noticed you are having a shit time" - but phrased much more nicely - is lovely and very clear, but is exactly why it should not be called "appeal". You do not appeal for those gifts, nor does someone appeal on your behalf. That is why they are so utterly sweet and life affirming.

You might not be able to physically see the person, so you buttonhole someone you know will, and say "give this to x for me, please". That is the correct role of MNHQ in all this. Not "appealing".

We do need some clarity, no matter how much people are insisting everything is fine. Having this discussion out in public is rather inelegant and unsparkly though. MNHQ should have seen the issues and sorted it out behind closed doors and then just presented a finished, clearly communicated, modus operandi. With happy sparkles.