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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

MNHQ

Mumsnet Christmas Appeal - suggestions please

401 replies

JustineMumsnet · 21/10/2013 15:03

Following on from a couple of threads discussing the Christmas appeal over the weekend, I thought we should post our thoughts on things.

First we're really sorry if not being nominated for this year's appeal has made anyone feel bad or left out. Obviously it's the opposite of why we do it but the truth is there will always be deserving people who, for whatever reason - frequent namechanges or pure and simple oversight - will be overlooked.

Over the years the Xmas appeal really has brought a lot of joy both to the givers and receivers of gifts - this is a typical post/mail from a giver:

"It is a wonderful thing this Santa business. It totally dispels the idea that Mumsnet is no more than words on a screen and shatters the notion of the pit of vipers. Since being matched with you, not a day has passed when I haven't thought of you and your family. Your posts shine with warmth, humour and love for your family. You are a remarkable woman. For me, it has been more than sending a little something: you have made me really think about what Christmas should be.
So I thank you too, and will raise a glass to you and yours on Christmas Day. Much love to you all"

As Christmas becomes every more about consumption we think the appeal for many is a reminder of what it is really all about. It certainly is for us at MNHQ and consequently we are very happy to put a lot of MNHQ resource into the operation; SandyMumsnet pretty much devotes a month of time to it.

Clearly it doesn't operate optimally for everyone, but net net, it really is a good thing I believe. That said we'd value suggestions about how you think we could do it better. We took over the operation of the appeal only because it was becoming too big a job for any individual - but it was conceived by Mumsnetters for Mumsnetters and exists pretty much in the same form as that original idea.

Do let us know your thoughts and suggestions here.

OP posts:
YukonHo · 21/10/2013 23:03

Don't think anything has to change at all. It's fab just as it is! I don't like the idea of being able to nominate yourself though...that completely misses the whole point!

HereComesHoneyBooBooDragon · 21/10/2013 23:04

Oni ((Thanks))

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance · 21/10/2013 23:04

Sorry my post wasn't clear. I don't think it should be called Secret Santa because it isn't that. It's more special than a secret santa where everyone gives and receives because there's a reason why a mner is nominated.

Do they get to know the reason - anonymously?

timidviper · 21/10/2013 23:05

I feel really conflicted about this as I love the MN Christmas Appeal but I can see some issues with it. I also felt sorry for the OP of the thread at the weekend. I read it as she was just feeling a bit low and a bit sorry for herself and was not anticipating the bunfight that followed.

Someone upthread summed it up with:
In principle it's such a lovely idea and the original appeal was born out of wonderful generosity, but it seems to be causing friction now.
Either it's an appeal to help MNers who are genuinely in need (perhaps chosen by MNHQ?) or it's a fun filled Secret Santa and whoever wants to pile in can pile in, perhaps with a gift value limit of £10?
The mish-mash of the two that it's become seems to be a problem for some.

I am more than happy to put my hand in my pocket and send something to help someone in need but, as I live and work in an area with a lot of deprivation, I would choose to donate locally rather than send a gift to someone nominated for being funny, for example.

The nominations system itself is fraught with problems, self-nomination attracts some scroungers as has already been said but nomination by others is heavily weighted against the namechangers and less recognisable posters.

The more you think about it, the harder it gets...

ScarerStratton · 21/10/2013 23:05

working, my lovely you are definitely not being referred to when the 'odd few' are being referenced.

MerylStrop · 21/10/2013 23:06

Been on here a fair few years and contributed to some of the earlier appeals, the ones Yoni describes, and maybe some before that.

I will sound like a meany but I'm only in a position to give to those struggling financially, or perhaps having had a very hard year. I don't want to congratulate good-egg-types, but I am happy to help someone out who needs it. I can see why this might seem to reinforce cliqueyness. So I've not taken part lately.

working9while5 · 21/10/2013 23:08

thanks SS. I just feel I accidentally wandered into a hornet's nest as I really didn't get what a big thing it was going to be. Also I have a knack of just mentally screening out arsey posters like the very troll-y one on that thread so I kind of missed it all... even when I was on it... and now I cringe a bit. So many threads!

BIWI · 21/10/2013 23:09

Oh yes Yoni absolutely you were and I didn't mean to imply that you weren't - but the whole insinuation that it is for chums is removed when MNHQ do it. Sorry for upsetting you. Not my intention at all Hmm

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance · 21/10/2013 23:09

I felt the same as Working about that thread. It was the one time I wished people could name those they were fuming at. Smile

YoniMatopoeia · 21/10/2013 23:11

You didn't upset me BIWI Hence the Wink

Actually I worried that I was deliberately giving my 'mates' less in the interest of trying to be impartial.

HereComesHoneyBooBooDragon · 21/10/2013 23:13

Working it's ok now! 'cos we all have glittery antlers. I've said before, having a different opinion and making valid points doesn't make you a moany arse.Thanks

( pathologically shitting over every single thing about Mnet that is, well, Mnetty does though)

Hullygully · 21/10/2013 23:15

But this is th e mad thing

It's a nice chance to say Thanks to someone, to show appreciation and acknowledge how they have helped you and/or others. They may well be your mate. Er, SURPRISE, that's what mates do. Sometimes.

Why would you notice a random act from someone you have no interaction with? Unless a general thread eg Woolly Hugs?

Does anyone think people trawl the MN boards with their specs on and a spreadsheet assessing and noting supportive words?

I ask you.

Hullygully · 21/10/2013 23:15

And no I have never been nominated nor made one. So no self interest here.

YoniMatopoeia · 21/10/2013 23:19

It should be the
MN
Community
Unity
Niceness
Togetherness
Santa

Sorry Justine

minipie · 21/10/2013 23:22

Haven't read whole thread but I agree the issue is the blurring between 1. "those in need" and 2. "someone who made me laugh" or even more so "my mate/person in my MN clique". I'd be happy to donate to the former but not so much the latter.

Perhaps for category 2, MN could offer members the chance to send a gift directly to the person who has helped them/made them laugh/been their mate on MN? Basically one MNer sending a gift to another MNer that they want to give a gift to, just via the medium of MN to protect anonymity.

Then the donating/matching/nominating would just be for those who need some help. no idea how MN would police whether people really need help or not. I don't think they should, donators would just have to accept that a few fakes might benefit along with lots of truly in need.

ScarerStratton · 21/10/2013 23:22

You raised a valid point, working. The Appeal is not particularly clearly understood, and it needs promoting so we are all clear about its purpose, mechanics, and nuances.

YoniMatopoeia · 21/10/2013 23:27

But, Mini, some of the people who were nominated had given advice all year to multiple posters, so were not 'made me laugh' or 'is my mate' but had been noticed for giving good, experienced, sage (and sometimes expert) advice to multiple people.

I think that deserves recognition

And I don't care who my donation goes to, which category of person they fit into. I trust MN to do the right thing, and think that it all evens out in the end.

MurderOfBanshees · 21/10/2013 23:29

minipie I think the blurring between 1 and 2 is because there are actually other reasons for people to be nominated. Eg. someone might have been nominated for being incredibly helpful (either with advice or more hands on).

So would they fall in to 1 or 2? And who decides whether they are deserving or not?

As it stands, anyone donating knows there is a chance their gifts will go to someone who isn't "in need", and - given what MNHQ have said about the matching - they know that chances are certain gifts are more likely to go to those "in need" than others.

The advantage this way as well is that even if some fakes get through, that the donors aren't necessarily expecting their gifts to go to those "in need", so less likely to feel conned if it turned out to be a fake.

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance · 21/10/2013 23:33

I think the ability to nominate someone who has supported and helped is what makes it good tbh. There are some posters who really go out of their way to do that and make a great difference in someone else's life. I've been on the receiving end of that and it's a great opportunity to acknowledge it. I think that's what makes it special.

trixymalixy · 21/10/2013 23:36

I think the mechanics of it as it is at the moment are the best it can be tbh. I hadn't realised before that MN did matching between the gifts offered and the reason for nomination/need. I thought it was a bit of a lottery.

What bothers me is the people who donated thinking it was all for people in need, at least one person on this thread has done that. I know there are others, at least one who it sounded like they couldn't really afford to donate.

That's why I feel it needs to be renamed.

I know some of you keep saying that it's all in the small print, but people clearly don't read it properly and think it's an appeal like the ones they do on tv or radio.

Northernlurker · 21/10/2013 23:36

Mumsnet cannot be a means to address 'need' in the same way that a charity does. It's a website and a community. As soon as you talk about only those in 'need' you get in to a whole spectrum of judgement calls and special pleading. That isn't what this site is here for.
The Appeal as it stands is the friend who turns up on Christmas Eve with some chocolates and presents for the kids the year you're out of work, it's the lovely bath stuff shoved in to your hand on the school run from sombody who knows your partner left, it's the flowers to say thanks for giving me a lift 500 times this year, it's the voucher to treat yourself from sombody who knows you're not as tough as you seem.

It's a nice, simple thing and it's having the guts ripped out of it now. I hate to see that. It makes me livid actually.

This site is supposedly populated by adults and all that's required for the appeal to work is for adults to remember that not everybody gets everything all of the time.

HereComesHoneyBooBooDragon · 21/10/2013 23:37

By donating, you might be helping someone give a gift, effectively on behalf, of someone who couldn't afford to purchase a gift but would love to be able to.

They nominate someone who in some way helped them. They get your gift. That's good right?

MurderOfBanshees · 21/10/2013 23:38

Northern That's a fantastic description of it

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance · 21/10/2013 23:46

trixy the donating is separate from the nominating. You can nominate someone but you don't have to donate -someone else can do that if you can't afford to.

By 'you' I mean people and not you personally - I'm not posh enough to use 'one' Smile

SquirtedPerfumeUpNoseInBoots · 21/10/2013 23:47

On the whole, I don't think you should change it either. Maybe, if you must, change the word Appeal.

I've donated and nominated for a few years now, and can't wait for the thank you thread. Although I don't know the number of the person I nominated, I know that one of them, somewhere, on that thread is because I recommended her to get something.

And, if my recipient posts, it's even better. I know that someone else thought she deserved something, and I'm in a position to supply it. I don't know why, but I don't need to. It's lovely, really lovely. Makes me cry.

I didn't realise people self nominated, that's not so good.

One thing strikes me as relevant - the send things to other people below you threads. Send things you don't need threads. I think these should be directed to the proper place - not get used to the idea that other mners will send you free things just because. That's where this nonsense about Christmas appeal has come from.

Imo. [have you an emoticon for shy smile]