Mumsnet Christmas Appeal - suggestions please

[JustineMumsnet]

Following on from a couple of threads discussing the Christmas appeal over the weekend, I thought we should post our thoughts on things.

First we're really sorry if not being nominated for this year's appeal has made anyone feel bad or left out. Obviously it's the opposite of why we do it but the truth is there will always be deserving people who, for whatever reason - frequent namechanges or pure and simple oversight - will be overlooked.

Over the years the Xmas appeal really has brought a lot of joy both to the givers and receivers of gifts - this is a typical post/mail from a giver:

"It is a wonderful thing this Santa business. It totally dispels the idea that Mumsnet is no more than words on a screen and shatters the notion of the pit of vipers. Since being matched with you, not a day has passed when I haven't thought of you and your family. Your posts shine with warmth, humour and love for your family. You are a remarkable woman. For me, it has been more than sending a little something: you have made me really think about what Christmas should be.
So I thank you too, and will raise a glass to you and yours on Christmas Day. Much love to you all"

As Christmas becomes every more about consumption we think the appeal for many is a reminder of what it is really all about. It certainly is for us at MNHQ and consequently we are very happy to put a lot of MNHQ resource into the operation; SandyMumsnet pretty much devotes a month of time to it.

Clearly it doesn't operate optimally for everyone, but net net, it really is a good thing I believe. That said we'd value suggestions about how you think we could do it better. We took over the operation of the appeal only because it was becoming too big a job for any individual - but it was conceived by Mumsnetters for Mumsnetters and exists pretty much in the same form as that original idea.

Do let us know your thoughts and suggestions here.

Please call it Christmas Kevin!
Don't change the format, but maybe place an embargo on threads about being nominated etc, just a thank you thread.

Oh, I know what you mean about well-ment-but-unsuitable presents .
I suppose I see it as a mutual thing (recipient feel good for having been thought of, donor feels good for having been generous or gone out of their way for some internet stranger).
Also, I think would that not make things a bit more complicated for MNHQ, not less? - I may not have picked your idea up properly.
You don't sound like a tool btw.

That Cliff otoh...

I am an unknown regular.

I somehow missed the Christmas appeal this year, it needs to be better advertised across the boards.

Christmas "appeal" is misleading. I thought it was to help out mners who couldn't really afford Christmas.

Of course it is going to be the prolific/known posters who get nominated. Is inevitable. You are far more likely to notice someone who is having a personal disaster across the boards for months, than someone who posts one thread and then leaves.

I don't know the inner workings of the appeal, but there should be no self-nominations and as has already said donations need to be matched to the recipient. A lovely hand knitted toy isn't going to put food on the table but could give an emotionally fragile poster a warm fuzzy feeling.

I also think the process should be anonymous and off the boards. The only things that should be public facing are threads discussing donations etc. I'm sure tech could come up with some sort of auto form thingy for recipients to say thank you off the boards.

Is there a place where MN explains the appeal, on what bases they expect people to be nominated, what sort of gifts are suitable to send?

If there is I don't know about it but that might be because I am fick.

also because:

"appeal" sounds like charity to me and I tend to work with local charities and freecycle so slightly tune out (perhaps I would not if it were headed with the name of a specific charity like REFUGE or SHELTER and MN was coordinating donations to them - but if it is just to help people who find themselves a bit short, then I kind of think why would mn administer better than my foodbank or freegle?)

If it is about sending a pressie to someone you like or in other words a friend, I don't think of mn like that. It is to me a bit more democratic. I talk to everyone here and luffs you all and can't send you all a present! If I think you are ace I will tell you in the moment. I think the gifts we all give each other all year round (cheesy music) are being here and listening and talking and being kind and funny. There is always someone here at 2 am in your dark night of the soul and I consider myself well-gifted indeed for that. Sending someone a bar of soap is kind of a bit... extra.

On the third (mutant) hand, if people want to send each other little pressies, why they hell shouldn't they? I think some will find it confusing though if they feel they are being asked to, and aren't sure why (see above)

I would really like it to continue and think it is lovely.

As a donator, I'm hoping that MNHQ give me a steer if it's for a needy family to whom I could spread some cheer, or if it's a thank you 'token gift' for someone who has just been really supportive on the boards. I think the secret santa/appeal focus needs to be clarified.

I'm happy supporting either, but I'd like to know which bracket my recipient is in so I can respond appropriately.

Please keep it going Sandymumsnet x

I agree with that. Clarity is especially important where charity is involved and money is being handed out.

I think the name should change. It's very easy to skim over the clicky if you think it's a charity appeal and you've earmarked your charity cash already.

Christmas Cheer or Christmas Kindness - that sort of thing. Or something witty. It's more special than a secret santa.

I don't get the 'being left out thing' and I really don't think people should be able to nominate themselves.

I don't think the mechanics of it should change and i don't understand the fuss about the thank you thread.

HD, absolufuckinglutely agree

I really would love to remind anyone who doesn't agree with the Kevin Appeal Secret Santa that the Internet is optional. You can switch it off, without donating, receiving etc if you don't like it.

Heck MNHQ even gave us a hide button. Imagine if we had that in RL Internet!

I organised this one year. I am jealous of Sandy having a whole month to do it full time as I only went and got a commuter job half way through the process.

The process in the years before MN took over was that those nominated by others (non self nominating) were not contacted, but detective work was carried out; so in some ways no-one knew they were nominated until the gift turned up.

MNHQ helped by making sure that all the nominees had been on MN at least a year.

Nominations were for all sorts of things, quite a lot were for being hard up. Some were for having had a hard time (other than financial). Some were for general good-egg-ness.

Some people offered vouchers, some new toys, some used toys, some clothes, some a box of chocs, some offered stocking fillers from the pound shop.

I don't know how the matching is done now that it has gone all corporate but the common sense approach back then was to give the stuff that would help the hard up (toys matching their children, voucher, a treat for mums etc) to the hard up, give frivolous fripperies to those who were being thanked for good-eggedness, or to those who had just had a shit year (not financially).

I don't think that it needs to change. I am glad that it embraces the different groups of people that are receiving (and giving).

There are people on here who give of their time and experience and emotions, and contribute so much to the site (unlike me - I am mostly a lurker these days)

I wouldn't want it changed to £10 token presents.

There was one lovely MNer who offered a full christmas tree with decorations to be delivered, and when it was, to a MNer who had lost her husband and was struggling both financially, with organisation, and emotionally, it made the world of difference to her.

I always use active conversations and so always see the sticky. I have donated last year and this. I didn't receive a thank you last year and I don't expect one this year... it is enough for me to read the rest of the thank you threads and feel part of it.

I have had a shit year. My husband was in Afgan last christmas, and only got flown home early because my mum suddenly died, then DH uncle died, then my uncle died (who had named me next of kin), then ILs dog died, then my dads cat died.... Some of that I have shared on here, some I haven't. I would never get pissy about not being nominated though.

Justine - Keep it how it is. Maybe communicate some more about how the nominations work, who you may be matched with etc (though having read the FAQ it seems to be mostly covered).

Sorry for essay. Will post now and see what I have missed while I have been typing

Oi BIWI - I was fairness itself

I'm not sure thats really fair.

You can still use MN without having anything to do with the appeal.

It's not compulsory to take part.

Personally, I think Secret Santa would be more confusing, and less accurate a name that Appeal. It's definitely not a SS.

What do you mean it's not compulsory to be on Mnet? I don't understand that?

I was nominated in (I think) the very first appeal (under another name back then), not so much for financial need as for having had a particularly hard few months. It was incredibly moving and I was quite humbled.

So while I knew what the appeal was about (it didn't acquire the name immediately IIRC), I do think the 'appeal' name is misleading and Secret Santa isn't quite it either IMO. (I also wish people would give over with the Kevin stuff... it was funny (and diverting) at the beginning on 'those' threads but it is already very tired just two days later). I liked Christmas Cheer Exchange, which someone suggested on one of the other threads.

I agree that the basic system doesn't need to change. What has surprised me, though, is some of the vitriol poured out at people who have expressed disappointment at not being nominated or other discomfort at the way things are running now.

I give my suggestion and offered visuals but it poo poo'd away

That was a lovely - and interesting - post, Yoni. I should think belated thanks are in order for you.

And I hope this coming year brings more luck to your door.

As many have said, I don't think it particularly needs changing, just maybe being clear about the way in which it has changed already.

I donated a couple of years ago and really enjoyed being involved, but at that time it was more about people who were in need and maybe wouldn't have much under the tree.

In the following years I've seen more and more people being nominated by their mates (which is fine) or for giving good advice (fine also) and a lot of people saying they had no idea why they were nominated. As I can't afford to get all my own mates Christmas presents let alone someone else's then I've chosen not to take part (I do support other charities instead). However I wouldn't dream of coming on here and moaning about it, nobody's holding a gun to anyone's head to donate.

Can I just say that I didn't object to the name "Appeal" because it "upset" me but because I deliberately avoided finding out more about it as I thought it was charidee and I wouldn't donate through a site for that purpose. I simply stated I found it confusing. This doesn't make me the lowest common denominator on MN, moany, a twat, a whingy arse or any of the other things I've read in recent days lumping people who just said hey, appeal's not the BEST description in with people saying it was x or y or z.

I would have been happy to and would have liked donating to just a general MN thank you/cheer thread...

Poor, poormisunderstood SP

Still no to 'Christmas Cliff', even though it has a rather pleasing alliteration.

I am crap at thinking of something witty and non-com-inducing...

Oh stop pandering to MissCliff.

in her dreams, Exit

Usual, no, I just mean that if people really object they can hide the specific threads. Sorry, knackered and not at my most cleverest :)