Can we have a proper discussion about the way some threads go?

[MissStrawberry]

I am posting after reading an upsetting thread where someone has an unusual problem and are threatening suicide.

I am really embarrassed at the amount of people who are troll hunting, goading and generally acting like they know this is a piss take and are posting accordingly.

We are all meant to be adults but the posters mentioned are acting like immature idiots to my mind.

While I accept no one can make someone do anything they don't want too, it is proven that on line bullying can make someone tip over the edge and take their own life.

What is this was your child, your husband, your wife, your mother, your friend, your child's friend? Wouldn't you want them to be helped, guided and supported?

It does not matter to you if this person is genuine or not but if they are and they die what then if it turns out it is your child, your sister, your neighbour?

If you post a genuine reply on a difficult thread and it is someone taking the piss it does not matter. It you post a genuine reply on a thread that someone is piss taking on it could help someone else.

If you post a cruel or goading thread on a thread that is genuine then you could be adding to their already fragile situation and while you will move on and not give it a second thought it really could mean the end for someone else.

I expect plenty of, it is their own choice, no one can make anyone do anything they don't want too, there must be other issues, etc etc etc but if you are that dismissive and care so little why post at all?

Mental health is not understood by so many people. Even now people say pull yourself together and think you choose to be depressed. Emotional problems the same but while there are supposed adults posting such disgraceful crap I fear for everyone who suffers now and in the future.

One day your child could be posting for help. How would you feel if they were ripped to shreds?

MNHQ - I think you need to have someone permanently on a thread like that as there are many posts on that particular thread that really should be have gone hours ago.

But that is for that individual poster to judge Beers. All we can do is advise our friends to leave it. We can't make them, as much as we would like to. ButI don't think that MN should be bringing in rules to protect members from themselves.

Oh I meant what in the Talk Guidelines would mean that the thread would have been deleted long ago?

Dione, you cannot talk about Mumsnet as "we" and "us". We are individuals. I for one do not think I should be called upon to hold anyone's hand while they um and ah about killing themselves. That is most emphatically not what I come on to Mumsnet for.

Anyone who objects is held to ransom, incase they tip that person over the edge (as evidenced by op). Well, sorry, but fuck that!

HQ have been held to ransom. See their inability to act.

Trolls aside here. None of us know for sure and most report /let MNHQ deal with it as per guidelines.

My worry is that the really suicidal poster will get mixed response from well intentioned people and the nasty .
Online support is dangerous no matter how well intended if the OP is seriously that distressed.
Look around at mental health forums ......none I know will let suicidal posts stand for long. It isnt fair on anyone to take that responsibility . Post support helplines and kind words of course ........but do not let a dialogue happen online for all the reasons stated .

I don't think the "Scum." in the OP is a personal attack. It isn't personal. Personal means against an individual person. And "Scum" is only misogynistic if you believe MN is all women, which it patently isn't.

The existing policies already do that, perhaps they need more rigorous enforcement. Had a lockdown policy existed, the only posts may have been the abusive ones.

Beer just read your latest post and agree re MNHQ need protection from anything happening re a genuine suicide .

I think because MN is a post-moderated site, that offers protection against culpability if someone does commit suicide following abuse on the site. But I'm not really an expert.

That one case was a well known non-namechanging poster though wasn't it?

No, it was done under a name change. And calling an ambulance for someone is not telling them to seek RL help is it? It is providing that help remotely.

If you feel this: I for one do not think I should be called upon to hold anyone's hand while they um and ah about killing themselves then hide the thread and move on. No one is calling upon you to do anything. I find it quite easy to ignore the bits of MN which are not what I want from my MN experience.

I'm sure the MN legalistas would know this stuff.

Termudjn, as I recall he called older women "scum". But he also referred to all those threads about small penises - which don't exist. So with regards to that particular OP I think ignore/report is the way to go. what I did, certainly.

Minty, you don't come here to hold hands. Nor do I. Nor do I come here to talk horses, S&B or lots of other things. I simply don't get involved in that stuff. I don't need a MN rule to protect me from it.

It's naive to say they don't exist, Porto. Of course they do.

Portofino, those threads were real.

Termudjin, I agree with you, I didn't see "scum" as a personal insult.

And "Scum" was thrown out at the end as a general adjective to describe MNers. So not one individual MNer, which would have been a personal attack.

Any other thread describing older women as scum ,would have been deleted.

But in my opinion, saying that the OP is describing older women as "Scum" would be twisting his words. My reading of what he wrote is that he describes all MNers as "Scum". Then it would have been up to MNHQ to decide whether calling MNers "Scum" was so offensive that the OP should be deleted.

Oh well, I'm sure he got what he needed from MN.

Wasn't the thread title about older women making the op feel nauseous?

Why do you think that sort of thread should be left un-moderated on a parenting website which is designed to make parents' lives easier?

If all threads like this are treated in exactly the same way then there can be no argument. It would make life easier for all concerned.

Yes, but given that he said he was 15, older women could just mean women. It is not a personal attack.

MN is there for parents, and if this post was real, should be there for his parent. I really don't think that it is too much to ask that members do not abuse those claiming to be extremely vulnerable.

oh get real.