Vipers' nest? Come counter our hissy rep with your stories of Mumsnet Niceness

[HelenMumsnet]

Hello.

Well, it's been bit of a week, hasn't it?

And we don't know about you but we think it's time folks outside MN knew a bit more about the lovely side of Mumsnet. All this stuff about harridans and vipers' nests kinda feels a bit lopsided to us - and is certainly making us pull on our Uggs and want to redress the balance a bit.

We're really chuffed to see such kind words about MN on Talk at the moment and also to see blogs like MmeLindor's that focus so beautifully on the "other side" of Mumsnet.

But we also want to publish, for all the world and the odd tabloid journo to see, a kinda showcase/archive of all the Lovely & Nice Things Mumsnetters Have Done over the years. And we'd really like your help with that, please.

Obviously, we have lots of Mumsnet Loveliness in mind already: ranging from Woolly Hugs to the Christmas Appeal and including everything from the lost toy on Blackpool Pier to the small acts of kindness shown every day from one MNer to another in need of help, advice or support.

But we really want you to tell us, too, about the Lovely Things you've seen (or taken part in) on Mumsnet. Please post them here - with links to the threads if you possibly can.

We'll read them all and, when we've run out of tissues, we'll publish some of your favourites for all the world to see.

Oh, and here's a pic of (warm and lovely) nest of vipers, courtesy of the fab women behind Woolly Hugs, to kinda set the tone

The power of Mumsnet never fails to amaze me.

I joined four years ago, pregnant at 17, very young, frightened and in circumstances far from ideal. I found compassion, understanding and support here. Kind people from my antenatal thread who had older children already sent me boxes of clothes for my DS.

I have made some of my dearest real life friends via this site, who I laugh with, cry with, drink with... Mumsnet meet ups are the highlight of my social calender. The next one is the day after my birthday, there shall be cocktails

The biggest reminder of how wonderful MN is I have ever time I walk around my house.

When I posted, two and a half years ago now, that I had finally found a landlord that had said yes on a property that was suitable for what I needed, I had tonnes of congratulations. I also had many, many posts from people who knew that I was setting up a home for the first time, offering me things to get started.

I was touched when someone offered me a lap shade, duvet cover, knife block, mini grill and place mats.

I was staggered when someone else said that, if I knew a man with a van, they had a sofa for me. This was later updated with the offer of a bookcase for DS as well.

I'm crying writing this now. To think that strangers, on the internet, could, would, and do, such kind things, expecting nothing in return... It restores some of my faith in humanity every time I sit down on my sofa.

Of course there will always be arguments here. Any time you throw so many people together into a situation, there will be disagreements. But that doesn't sum up a place. The power of Mumsnet is that we can be mid-bun fight, then find out one of our number is in need, and all buns are dropped as people do everything they possibly can - and often more - to help.

Mumsnet is a wonderful thing. I type this from the safety and comfort of my first ever home, a home that is still partially furnished by Mumsnetters.

So to all of you... Thank you. x

i think the Daily Mail article had it about right..Boden wearing Judgemental (judegey pants wearing) egotisitical mothers. I like the reviews but barring the single mothers threads I have never encountered a worse bunch of threads... egotistical, selfish and so so judgemental.mumsnet seems to be for the wealthy mums... even the "mumsnet recomends" emails are aimed at famiies with lots of money!

I can't begin to count the amount of sage advice, hand holding, support and general niceness I have had on here. Some people tell it like it is which can be hard to hear ( thank you Any F*er xxxxxx) but I never come away thinking that the people who post genuinely care.. That's why I bloody well love you lot xxxx

Plus the style and beauty section rocks xxxxxx

i love this place.
last year, Bellavita sent me a gift. I had a thread which detailed a particularly hard time i was having.
it absolutely made my day. We met up for lunch.
this year when her dh was poorly, i sent her a gift. this place is mutually supportive - we all prop each other up.

ive had 3 threads now on the mh boards and the support on there has been my lifeline. total strangers have supported me through thick and thin.

and recently, the yoni threads have had me in hysterics.

ive vented about my DS who has special needs, ive had wonderful advice from folk in the same boat.

i adore mumsnet. i dont care what anyone else thinks. the people on here are fabulous. I would be totally lost without it.

I love Mumsnet. I joined waaaaay back in 2002, just after my ds (dc2) was born.

I lived in a very remote rural area at the time, with very little on for new mums, and mn was a real lifeline through my PND.

I got a massive amount of support through a very very difficult unexpected pregnancy (with dd2 - I had a mirena that slipped) and the long thread with my birth congratulations is in dd2's baby box for posterity!

I've met some fabulous people, been supported but also able to offer support, last summer a mumsnetter came to mine for a holiday, had about 7 others round to visit. I'm very privileged to know expat and Giraffes and to have been a teeny tiny part of the awful journey they went through with Aillidh last year. I regularly meet Aitch at the school gate (and aitch, we will get that coffee this term!!!).

My dd2 developed a hip disability aged about 4 and the SN mums were fabulous at helping me negotiate all the stuff about wheelchairs etc. And many of you rejoiced recently when we got the all clear for her. I myself developed a neurological illness 16 months ago and I've become part of a very small group of others with similar issues offering support, and I also have a rather niche mental health problem, also supported on here.

One of the best things mn has done for me is to make me laugh. If I'm ever very down, I head to classics. There's very little that reading the Guinea-Pig obituary thread doesn't cure!!

Thanks mn for a great 11 years - hope I'm here at least 11 more!

Two people asked me why I said 'SN wasn't safe' and PeneloPeePitStop (with a SN child) answered it. I have just been very aware that some of them get less than supportive answers.And to answer lisad123 you don't have to search for it, you merely go to last 15 mins, or last hour, or active etc.
My whole argument is that it would be a kinder place if you had to search - people wouldn't scroll by and put in quite a cruel two pennyworth, they wouldn't visit at all.

Friends have a toy that DD loves. Googling revealed that lots of people used to sell it, but no one seemed to anymore
. I started a thread asking if anyone knew where I could get one, and linked an image. Lovely Indith sent me her DD's old one, just for the price of posting. DD was then 14 months and was made up.

I never feel alone.

I have made some amazing friends on here, who have been there for me no matter what.

surprisearrival it's not about wealth. It can't be. It's an anonymous forum where a tiny percentage of the threads have anything to do with money. When they do there are a ton of suggestions on how to stretch a chicken for three days and how to amuse children on no money. The number of threads I've seen supporting people who have no money.

I don't think a site that is non-confrontational and avoids telling people when they are wrong helps anyone. If you're being unreasonable then MN will cast the scales from your eyes. There's not point in posting in Aibu unless you are prepared to listen to the answer!

As a general point I would also nominate Talcandturnips for special recognition as the woman never fails to cheer me up no matter what mood I started out. :)

I don't know how many people work at MNHQ but I think they must be over stretched. As I said earlier I was very upset by a bereavement thread because by accident I was up incredibly early and the only one to answer. I felt that MN let her down and when I enquired it was a case of 'nothing can be done'. A poster has kindly shown me that she did get the best of MN and I wonder why MNHQ couldn't have told me that, but I expect they simply didn't know - not because they didn't want to, or care- just a lack of time and staff and other pressing concerns.

The lovely Vicar did indeed send me a gift and it made my day. She very thoughtfully went to the place I go to have my hair done and bought me a voucher so I could treat myself.

In fact I missed something else out too the fab LizzyLou sent me a bouquet of flowers a couple of years back.

God, I have a shite memory .

And to answer lisad123 you don't have to search for it, you merely go to last 15 mins, or last hour, or active etc.

The SNs topics don't show up in Active unless you have opted into them. If they show up in the others, this is probably an oversight.

I never look in active, I look in last 15 mins and they are always there. I haven't opted out or in to anything. I have told MNHQ that I don't think you should see every subject as you scroll down. I don't know what others get but I get everything- I can't be the only one.

I am simply too lazy to hide things- I scroll quickly past ante natal, conception and others but I do stop off at others if something attracts my interest - it is not necessarily a good thing.

I've posted already saying why Mumsnet is an incredibly special place.

I've been reading the thread though and am saddened to see that several posters have experienced problems on SN threads. It sounds as though this area is singled out more than some others by trolls and vicious posters. I'm really concerned to read this, and I think most MN would agree that it's appalling. I don't have the expertise to know how to address this, and I think MNHQ are probably doing what they can- but is there anything else that can be done?

If you click the Customise option and then go to "ignore topics" there is a SN opt -in there (ie it's not easy to stumble across). The default is set to not show them.
I wonder if it was properly updated to include all the SNs topics when they were added.

Oops I see exotic has already made a good point- must type faster....

Wrt sn/sen...It is a huge problem vertgently.

I don't want to derail the thread Badvoc, but I'm really sorry to hear that the support on SN is affected in this way. Presumably HQ are aware of it? What can we do?

I don't think anyone is saying MN is perfect. But it certainly isn't the horrid place the press are portraying it to be lately.

What are they all so afraid of? A bunch of women having opinions?

Sorry to hear about the difficulties on the SN boards. I hope MNHQ can find an answer.

Me either, and yes HQ are aware.
It's a thorny issue that's for sure.
For far too long MN point blank refused to remove dreadful disablist posts as "they educate" (!!)
They don't do that much anymore, thankfully.
I think it's great that people can go on MNSN and see the other side of the fence so to speak, just a cursory glance would show you what awful things parents of children with sn/sen have to deal with every day.
MNSN has been a lifeline for me and my ds.
MNHQ have a very difficult job wrt MNSN IMHO.

On a personal note, this place is the reason I lost loads of weight (was obese before). I've been 'on a diet' my whole adult life, but it was only when I started my first thread on here and got actual, real, support and advice that I did it.

Can I also mention an mner, not sure if we're allowed to mention names? She offered to send me a tablecloth and refused any money for it or postage. I told her that the postage I'd saved would be going to the fund of a sick little girl I know locally. When the tablecloth arrived and I opened the parcel, money dropped out!

In general I can always count on mn. No question too big - as you see in te relationships topic - or too small, like when I start my "i'm bored, chat to me" threads. There's almost always someone who can relate to what you're going to. And I've met some fantastic people locally,and also had some very enjoyable evenings out where I've had to stay in another city for work purposes and not known anyone. There are always mners willing to come and have , and within minutes it feels like you've known them for years.

The answer is to make people search for topics rather than to have them all instantly accessible.
The answer with journalists is not to have AIBU the prominent thing that pops up if you Google mumsnet.

Agree with your second pont exotic

"The answer with journalists is not to have AIBU the prominent thing that pops up if you Google mumsnet."

Not in MNHQ's control, Google indexes by hit counts. AIBU has lots of hits. It's going to come up first on Google.