Do you let your son/daughter's boyfriend/girlfriend stay the night?

[FrancesMumsnet]

Do you let your teenager's boyfriend/girlfriend sleep over?

yes. I would rather they were under my roof, than driving home in the small hours.

They are 17

First time my boyfriend was allowed to stay over we returned from a night out to find my mum had set a camp bed out in my room too! In fact it turned out handy as he was so drunk and snoring like a pig that I slept there myself!
We were about 18/21 at the time and about 6mths later we moved into our own flat anyway.

My DD"s are only little but I cant see DH letting any boy in the door let alone stay overnight :)

Yes, they are 17 and have been going out for a while. Wound rather they were safe here etc etc

Are canvassing opinions or looking for advice FrancesMumsnet?

My parents let my bf stay over when I was 17, but he had to sleep in my little brothers top bunk! Didn't stop us getting up to no good though!

Hi Glaikit alas I'm not there yet! Just helping a journalist out!

no my 2 share a bedroom so no DD stays at his though if she didnt share i may allow it but Dh is a bit funny about it but its ok for her to stay there they have been together for almost a year before i said it was fine for her to stay she is 19 now so she can do what she likes really this was when she was 17 and still at school,

Yes. DD is 22 and has been with her boyfriend for four years.

We had a 9 mth rule after the age of 17. Ie had to have been with them for 9 mths, only stay on the odd occasion and only if parents liked them. It worked well for us.

My parents didn't let me and DH share a room till we were engaged. Dhs didn't till we were married.

Of my teenage nieces and nephews, neices boyfriend sleeps over, one nephews girlfriend isn't allowed to at his house (but he stays with her), but his parents let his brothers boyfriend sleep over

I did, my StD was 17, had been going out with him for some time, but I made it clear that if they broke up there would be noone else staying over for at least a year!

I would with my DD now 17 too, but she lives with her dad. He lives in blissful ignorance of her 'activities', so she won't ask him.

I have no idea. Well, I do - I wouldn't really like it, but wouldn't know whether that was simply a hangover from my Catholic upbringing. DH, I think, would have no problem at all.

Luckily, dd is still at the stage where she thinks sex is revolting, so we can continue to pretend it's never going to happen ignore it.

I would have thought the "helping a journalist out" should have been in the OP.

Yes we let 19 year old DSD's boyfriend stay over, (he lived here for 3 weeks at one point). That was only when they had been together for nearly a year and we knew it was serious. This is because we have young dds and we want to vet who is in the house. She still has to ask if he can stay over when she wants him too, and mostly we don't allow it on school nights, but that's mostly down to convenience - I need to be able to wander from bathroom to bedroom frequently to check up on dds getting ready for school and usually do so in various states of undress.

We don't have a problem with how casual/serious her relationships are TBH, it's purely down to having young kids in the house. If they were all adults we'd probably have an open door policy.

My parents let my boyfriend stay over when we were 17 but they put him in a separate bedroom. I'm sure this made them feel better but we just waited until they went out...

They persisted in doing this when I was in my early-mid 20's with my fiancé who I lived with. I found the modesty ironic considering they both homewreckers.

When my pfb still lived at home, his first serious g/f slept over after they'd been together for about six months or so (after I actually spoke to her mam in person to check that yes, it was ok, and she did know where her DD was) and they also shared a room on holiday together.
His second serious g/f, now his fiancee lived here for five months after she couldn't live at home any more. They have their own place now. They were all at least 16 at the time.

There's a thread in AIBU on this - last updated yesterday, got over 300 responses.

My ds is 20 (21 Aug) and gf 19 (20 Aug)

GF has stayed over rarely for about a year. I keep them in separate rooms as we have dd who is only 8 and its my house, so there, lol. When you have your own place and your own kids you'll understand. etc

My parents only let my bro and wife stay over, I used to let DH before we were married sleep over when mum and dad were away as they would never agree to it if they were there. Somehow I feel I may follow their rules....

Oh it's a difficult one, dd is 23 and has been with her bf 2 years and he is allowed to stay but has only done it once. Ds1 is 19, his gf is 17 they have been together just less than a year and if she stays the night ds sleeps on the couch. but hmmmm

Presuming you mean in the same room / bed ? No

(My eldest is currently 16 and it's not come up yet, but this is what I think at present).

At 17 most definitely.

My daughter is 3, but this is the way I plan to keep things. The same as was allowed for me but then i made good choices!

Oldest DC are both well in the twenties now but yes, from first serious BF/GF, at about I suppose 17, I've let them stay the night in the DCs' rooms.
a) they're above the age of consent - what right have I to stop them?,
b) I was a bit of a slut back in the day and am not in a position to start being judgy now and
c) if they're not shagging somewhere safe and warm, they'd be shagging somewhere risky and inappropriate. Teenagers who want to shag will shag. Naive to think a bedroom ban will change anything.

Yes. They are twins of 18 and in stable relationships, one of 9months & the other 3 yrs. (The relationship lengths, not dtws ages!)

I wouldn't have, if it wasn't for MN. Talking to people on here convinced me that even though I am not thrilled at my dch having a sex life wanting them to play with Barbie/read Anne of Green Gables/build tree houses for ever it was preferable that they felt trusted, respected and safe in their own beds, rather than having sex behind the bus shelter etc. & their first expereinces of sex being feeling guilty & seedy.

Having said that, we started out with the stance that the bf/gf could stay in their bedroom in the evening until 10pm & then had to go home. Bf/gf did not stay the night until they were over 18 as that takes the relationship to another level. It wasn't a rule as such, just turned out that way.

BTW I do also think that you have to acknowledge that it is their home as well as yours (the parent).

Yes I did for both of mine when they were 17. Just seemed the reasonable thing to do.