Facebook to lift its ban on users under 13: your thoughts?

[HelenMumsnet]

Hello.

We hear through the DM grapevine that Facebook is getting set to lift its ban on under-13s opening accounts and joining up.

We're wondering what you all think about this.

Do you think under-13s should be able to have Facebook accounts? If so, would you be relaxed about your pre-teen child having one? If not, what exactly concerns you about children being on Facebook before the age of 13?

It has to be said that the girls (in general) post way too many photos of themselves pouting into their phone camera.

I think there is an argument that letting them have it earlier gets all this crap out of their system before they reach mid teens and are, IMO, more emotionally vulnerable.

What I've seen from logging on as DS2 (11) is how supportive they do seem to be - lots of responses to posts with things like "You OK? Want to chat?" (although in far worse English :o) Some of these friends are actually from DS1's primary school class so 2 years older.

& not 7 !

No - under 13's need to be out there, with their real friends and making real new friendships with kids their own age in person. FB is too impersonal and also possibly leading them to think they have loads of cyber friends...which are at best numbers and nothing else. Potential bullying problems too would be enough to put me off as well.

No, facebook shouldn't lift it's ban. I know that many parents supervise their children's use, but I also think that some would assume that Facebook was now suitable for under 13's without any adult supervision.

Having said that, I have no problem with an under 13 year old having access to Facebook, as long as their parents have access to their child's page and know everything that is posted. If they leave embarrassing comments, illustrating to their child that Facebook is not private, so much the better.

On the other hand, I wouldn't let an under 13 year old have access to a computer that wasn't in a main living area, and I wouldn't let them use the computer if I wasn't there.

Re: adopted and fostered children and social media, there was an article about it here
www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/jun/19/facebook-adoption-tracing-birth-mother.

mammanetta - Don't you think that's a rather simplistic view though? Surely you realise that most under 13s are 'Out there' already? FB is just another facet to their lives.

to be honest all the Facebook trouble seems to occur with the over 13's not the under 13's! I know several under 13's on Facebook and they just have fun on it whereas the over 13's I see when I'm spying on my daughters newsfeed can be awful, bitchy and unpleasant. Most kids use it properly though (from checking my daughters news feed and wall, I can see that most of them are being pleasant, having a laugh, chit chat etc.. why should a minority of chavspawn spoil it for the rest of youth?

I agree totally with Soupdragon... my eldest dd has been using Facebook since she was about 10 and went on it lots at first (supervised by me and I had the password) and now she very rarely goes on it. If I'd waited to give her access on her 13th birthday after years of denying access, I know she'd go mad, jump in at the deep end etc.... she's bored of it now and never goes on it.

and funnily enough, all the holier than though parents who slag off Facebook and refused access until their kids were 13... those kids are the ones abusing Facebook, generally speaking. Kinda ironic.

and funnily enough, all the holier than though parents who slag off Facebook and refused access until their kids were 13... those kids are the ones abusing Facebook, generally speaking. Kinda ironic

good point peanut

Ironic & IME very naive to boot :)

You do know that you can limit what certain fb friends can see on your wall don't you?

I think some people need to learn how to use FB security settings and then maybe they wouldn't be so scared of their children using it.

usualsuspect, it's the internet savvy parents whose kids tend to use it properly, I've concluded. The ones who are scared of the internet don't use the internet, and have never used Facebook or other social network sites, are the ones most against it, and the ones whose kids tend to misuse it, I've found.

I'm with you- the big problem with FB is parents who don't know how to use it, don't understand privacy settings, friending etc etc- just like me! However, DH does which is what matters!

I am amazed by how little security some people have on fb.

DD is in Yr6, lots of her friends have accounts but I made DS wait until he was 13 and want to do the same with her but have thinking about relenting when she starts high school so that is not the odd one out.
So I will be pleased if they do change the rule, so I won't need to change mine.

My DSD who is 15 has been banned from having FB for almost 2 years now. She was obsessed with it, spent far too much time on it and her school work suffered.

The final straw was when one of her year group left to go to another school and her mum claimed she had been bullied - some of it through FB. A number of DSD's friends were implicated and it all got very nasty.

More recently there have been a couple of instances of girls and boys posting naked photos of each other on their own and sometimes anonymous FB pages - all very unpleasant and worrying.

Personally, I think 13 is too young, it should be 18. I have seen some shocking things on young teenagers and younger childrens FB pages. They are generally not responsibile enough and the majority of parents don't monitor their childrens use at all.

The other problem is that banned children often set up FB pages in false names - so their parents don't know what they are doing and can't find out.

DS has had one since he was 10 - mostly to keep up with old friends from before we moved. Used my email address to sign up.
He's hardly ever been on it since. I've looked at his fb page more than he has.
I find the whole fb thing very over-rated tbh. I have a feeling they want to drop the age limit because people are beginning to lose interest.

I block facebook ads with Adblock Plus add-on for Firefox. I think most adults have developed severe banner blindness by now but kids may indeed look at ads more attentively, and there's no need for them to be doing this.

www.businessinsider.com/facebook-bankers-earnings-forecasts-2012-5

When DS2 left primary school he was one of only 3 children going to his high school (C of E very highly rated and hard to get in to) any the rest of his friends were devided between the two local high schools. Almost every child in his class already had face book and he ask could he have an account to keep in contact with his friends. I opened him one BUT he does not have the password, if he wants to look at it (and TBH he hardly ever does) I log him and and sit with him. The amount of activity from his friends is staggering, the are never off of it. (DS2 will be 12 this tear)

I don't think 13 is a safe age to have an nu- monitered face book

I don't think 13 is a safe age to have an un- monitered face book

But is it a safe age to have ANY unsupervised internet access ??

it's NOT - IMHO FB is no different to ANY internet use, its up to us as parents to oversea our DCs use & in doing that, FB is perfectly safe for our DCs - I also believe, as is borne out by many pro posts here, that ALLOWING it young & monitoring it, makes it far less alluring to DCs & they are far less obsessed by it - my DD really isn't fussed by it at all & is very aware of the dangers - the same as ALL of the DCs we personally know whose parents take the sensible approach & see starting young as an opportunity to instil good sensible internet use habits, before the stroppy teen raises its head :)

When my son was 11, Farmville was all the rage and he asked for an account so that we and his friends could play it together. I set the account up as if he were 13, and we played for months. he lost interest eventually, after a couple of other similar games. When he left primary school, almost the whole class had accounts and friended each other before they all split up and went to varoius secondary schools.

He rarely uses it, I monitor it weekly or so then occasionally remind him to respond to stuff (I have access to his Facebook and email). Twice I've dealt with inappropriate friending requests, in nearly three years. He barely uses it, but some of his friends, particularly the girls, seem to live there.

On the whole I am OK with pre-teens having accounts, but perhaps they should have different (tighter) default security settings and less advertising allowed on their pages. Maybe shackled to a parental account too, with full access always allowed by that parental account, pre-teen unable to change security settings to block parental oversight.

Its a bad move and I will keep my children off Facebook for ever if I possibly can.

Interestingly, a few days ago Facebook listed its shares ON NASDAQ (US stockmarket) and the price has now fallen 18% under the initial offer price. Some people think that its membership numbers and profitability growth may be slowing. Adding under 13 yr olds would offset any slowing growth.

Whilst Facebook still refuses to clamp down on groups which incite hatred and violence then no child should be allowed to join.

Yes I know Facebook say that you can report such groups, but I've done this in the past and weeks later that group is still going. I can cite one about hitting pregnant women, raping pregnant women and the Ched Evans support group where plenty of men all agreed that raping a drunk woman was a typical one night stand.

The BNP have a Facebook Group in which followers blame "immigrants" for all the ills of the world and use terms such as "Gollywog" to describe them.

Should our kids be exposed to this shite? No.

Yes parents should keep a better eye on them but most parents can't even figure out their own privacy settings let alone those of their kids.

I know too that Facebook currently does nothing to stop children under the age of 13 signing up. I once reported my niece, who was 11 at the time, she had 1,500 followers most of which were Eastern European men and had posted pics of herself in her underwear. Facebook did nothing and she kept using her account. Her parents just saw it as harmless fun unfortunately.

This should not be allowed until Facebook shakes itself up and is able to offer protection for children against predators, cyber-bullying and hate groups. I'd like to see special children's facebook accounts for under 16s which comes with all privacy settings already in place along with parental control type add-on which prevents kids from accessing hate-filled groups.

But of course Facebook won't do any of this because they just want to target more youngsters with advertising and get a tidy profit. They shurk their responsibilites under the guise "freedom of speech" and have made it very clear that their customers come second, profit comes first.

My eldest DD is 11, and I am one of the few parents from her class who have yet to allow their child to have a FB account. I have been v. honest with her and one of my good reasons for her not having an account is that she is not old enough according to the rules and therefore if she is on, people have every right to assume she is older than she is.
Interestingly, she actually told me that she is glad she has the excuse of a 'strict mum' because lots of her peers are putting pressure on her to get an account and she doesn't want one because she has had a couple of good friends who have been v. upset by comments that have been posted by others. One friend also had a v. unpleasant experience which actually turned out to be someone she knew - but she didn't know that.
However much we talk to pre-teens about safety etc, etc they are still children and they still need us as adults to protect them.
Anyway, if they have a mobile phoe, a laptop, a FB account etc, etc, etc before theyeven hit your teens, what is going to get them excited next? That is what is most worrying for me! For goodness sake, let them wair for some things!