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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

MNHQ

Facebook to lift its ban on users under 13: your thoughts?

169 replies

HelenMumsnet · 21/05/2012 10:42

Hello.

We hear through the DM grapevine that Facebook is getting set to lift its ban on under-13s opening accounts and joining up.

We're wondering what you all think about this.

Do you think under-13s should be able to have Facebook accounts? If so, would you be relaxed about your pre-teen child having one? If not, what exactly concerns you about children being on Facebook before the age of 13?

OP posts:
MNHQ
HelenMumsnet · 21/05/2012 12:07

Thanks for all the contributions. Please keep 'em coming!

And, if you can get behind the Times paywall, you might want to read this interesting interview by Sian Griffiths with Facebook's Head of Policy in Britain.

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 21/05/2012 12:12

"As people say, at the moment some children lie and say they are 13 when they are eg 10. This means that Facebook thinks they are 3 years older, which in turn means that it thinks they will be 18 when infact they are 15 - and will see all relevant adverts accordingly. "

Or they could simply change their DOB.

WRT adult stuff on your own wall, that is simple. If you want to have a monitoring account to be friends with your child just set one up.

SoupDragon · 21/05/2012 12:13

You can also tailor who is able to see certain posts IIRC.

rockinhippy · 21/05/2012 12:19

I personally don't think it's a problem at all IF properly supervised & strict rules of use in place, such as parents vetting all new friend requests - if anything starting young allows you to set the rules in place & teach them safe internet use BEFORE the stroppy teen rears its head.

My own DD is 9, & has had a FB since she was 7, this is because we have family who are scattered, so she gets to keep in touch with her cousins in a way that works for her, lots of photos, plays games with them & swaps odd notes & it's a way for her to keep in touch with friends she's made on holiday, she also loves the games on there, which actually have been very helpful with her learning

I also think because its not something she sees as "big girls only" she's not that bothered by it, she goes on it now & again, but would be horrified at the idea of everyday - amongst our friends with older (teen plus) DCs, the ones with the same take it or leave attitude, are the ones whose parents allowed a supervised account young

Whatnamethistime · 21/05/2012 12:22

they are all on it anyway and more open to things because they lie about their ages.

rockinhippy · 21/05/2012 12:24

As a foot note, I cringe FAR more at the 13 year olds, who set up their own accounts & whose parents aren't computer literate enough to oversee it - these are also the one IME that use FB obsessively - our friends DD was on my friends list & my God that was an eye opener & IMHO she is very vulnerable - she took me & DH off for telling tales to her Mum, but sadly her Mum doesn't see the dangers :(

SoupDragon · 21/05/2012 12:26

One reason I let them have then from an early age is because otherwise they would just have set them up without my knowledge. In fact DS2 did, not realising that all the emails came through to one Outlook account. He got a huge lecture about that. This way, I know they have it, I monitor it and know their passwords and can look any time to make suer nothing untoward is going on.

Yes, they could set up another private account but they could do that at any age.

Mopswerver · 21/05/2012 12:37

Oops, I appear to be in the minority here but I allowed my DD to have a FB account at 11....with strings attached. I sorted the security, I have power of veto over her friends and I am allowed full access to her account. She is also only allowed to use it in the kitchen with me there (though I now need to sort the security on her mobile though with the reception we get here she doesn't use the phone for FB yet). Aside from family (who I have asked NOT to friend her but they insist!) I don't allow any adults. Likewise I don't friend any children myself. I don't think Facebook is the problem per se, it is how it is used and supervised. We have lots of family abroad so it is invaluable for us in terms of keeping in touch with what they are all up to. I must say she uses it very responsibly as we have talked about all the implications...and they do get a lot of this kind of advice at school now.

Tee2072 · 21/05/2012 12:39

I'm ambivalent. I wouldn't accept a friend's request at the moment if I knew the child was under 13 as it is against their policies and US Law.

Which leads me to wonder how they are getting around the US Law aspect. They are a US company bound by that law.

Of course, there is not international law on this.

I do think parents have most of the responsibility here, just as they decide when a child is old enough to run down to the corner shop and/or play out with their friends. And 'I'm not technical' is a lousy excuse for not policing your child's internet use.

wrathomum · 21/05/2012 12:42

IMO 16 or 18 would be a better age. Once posted, personal data is out there forever.
FB puts pressure on its young users to present an image of themselves and can create performance fatigue.

ScorpionQueen · 21/05/2012 12:43

I let my under 13s have FB accounts. They are a useful way to keep in touch with friends and family all over the world. I am in charge of their security settings, passwords and friends lists.

I have them both as friends as I don't have anything on my FB account I wouldn't let them see.

Better to learn to use social media with me than without parental support and guidance, which many teens do.

The only issue I have is with advertising, as it needs to be tightened up if the ban is officially lifted, whereas before FB could just claim children shouldn't be on there so they didn't need to censor advertising. This could be a good thing if it gets rid of all the crap down the side of my page.

daisychicken · 21/05/2012 12:47

I don't agree with under 13s having Facebook access... there is enough bullying going on with Facebook / texts at secondary school... surely it's not a good idea to open this up to include primary school children??

I don't think children have a great enough understanding that they can't just speak about anything online. Even with parental supervision.. Kids can still get onto unsuitable websites etc...

t875 · 21/05/2012 12:49

Cant believe this atall. Bad move and I definately wont be letting my youngest on it.

Mopswerver · 21/05/2012 12:50

Surely mobiles are more of a problem as we don't have as much access to those...and most under 10's have them these days!

SoupDragon · 21/05/2012 12:55

"Kids can still get onto unsuitable websites etc..."

Which has absolutely nothing to do with Facebook and is a separate issue entirely.

Trills · 21/05/2012 12:59

Any under-13 who wants to sign up for Facebook right now could do it pretty easily.

Trills · 21/05/2012 13:05

IF an 11-tea-old is not being properly supervised on the internet then this will make very little difference.

If an 11-year-old is being properly supervised on the internet, this will also make very little difference.

SusanneLinder · 21/05/2012 13:08

My DD had a FB when she was 12. This was set up by us,monitored by us and we have full access to her passwords and account. When she was 13, she thought she could be smart and change her passwords so we couldnt get access as it was "legal". Until she lost her phone and pc time till she handed them over :o

DD has ASD. FB has actually been great for her as she has managed to make friends and interact with people on fb that she wouldn't have the nerve to do so face to face(in school).Means she can think before she types too. Because of this, she has managed to make quite a few friends (in real life natch).

Tee2072 · 21/05/2012 13:11

Very well said, Trill.

rockinhippy · 21/05/2012 13:13

IF an 11-tea-old is not being properly supervised on the internet then this will make very little difference

Spot on Trills its not what age they allow the accounts, but how active we as parents are in keeping on top of it & making sure they are safe & personally I think setting those rules in motion young, is no bad thing

Trills · 21/05/2012 13:13

Thanks Tee :)

rockinhippy · 21/05/2012 13:14

Confused lost the other half of your quote their

rockinhippy · 21/05/2012 13:14

there - damned fog head todayHmm

elastamum · 21/05/2012 13:37

Wont make any difference.

My 11 year old is apparently nearly 100 yrs old on facebook Blush that said both me and his dad are 'friends' and keep an eye on both our DS on line. All their friends hav been on for years. We are rural and it is part of the way they socialise

inashizzle · 21/05/2012 13:44

Raise to 16 campaign!

No.1 curse of kids time-distractive, addictive, mostly negative.

Wrestling over 14s after midnight for their phones/laptop due to f,b addictions turns the most understanging parents into banshees.wonder how many absences from school in a week are actually from lack of sleep coz "just quickly repying then i,m off,swear down"!

Don't get me started on Blackberrys-can feel my blood boiling after 2 seconds of click click click.............