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MNHQ

Facebook to lift its ban on users under 13: your thoughts?

169 replies

HelenMumsnet · 21/05/2012 10:42

Hello.

We hear through the DM grapevine that Facebook is getting set to lift its ban on under-13s opening accounts and joining up.

We're wondering what you all think about this.

Do you think under-13s should be able to have Facebook accounts? If so, would you be relaxed about your pre-teen child having one? If not, what exactly concerns you about children being on Facebook before the age of 13?

OP posts:
mummymeister · 21/05/2012 13:54

You have to ask yourself why they are doing it. is it so that they can target ever younger kids with the facebook ads that pop up down the side. IMO they are only doing it because there is money in it for them from the people who pay for the pop ups and therefore this can only be a bad thing. Influencing the future behaviour and purchases/beliefs of teenagers is a holy grail in advertising (this is why cigarette ads were actually aimed at the teenage market as are alcopops - catch em young and sell more!). FB has a place but tbh i kind of wish it hadnt been invented as it causes lots of problems with young people.

jazmom · 21/05/2012 13:57

My daughter had a fb account at 13 - i have access to her account so i know who she is friends with...etc.... the moment she gets clever and changes her password - then we confiscate her phone and laptop - she knows that. So I think that as long as parents know what's going on - it should be ok

flibbertywidget · 21/05/2012 13:57

it is clearly a marketing ploy to target the "next generation" of users. They went public last week. They have to prove they are worth billions. The billions will come from the data and information they capture on our DC's so they can be marketed and sold to. It's like pimping our DC's to the highest bidder.

ugh

ChopstheScarletduck · 21/05/2012 14:00

I think it would be great if they can provide limited accounts to under 13s as part of the move, with top security and privacy measures as standard. So many younger kids are on there. Dd is 11, and has had an account for a while, first for family then for friends. She would miss out on so much if she didn't have an account as a lot of social events seem to be organised via facebook.

Trills · 21/05/2012 14:00

If under13s are going to use Facebook (which they already are) then it's better that they have put in their correct DOB so that they are only exposed to age-appropriate content.

ChopstheScarletduck · 21/05/2012 14:00

I have to watch it like a hawk though, and I would feel happier if there were designated protocols for younger users.

Bunbaker · 21/05/2012 14:02

I don't think the age should be lowered. DD (11) uses my account to play games, but not to chat. OH doesn't have a Facebook account, I have a presence on Facebook but never post on it, so DD isn't that bothered either as it isn't something we do in our house.

I don't like Facebook. I manage to communicate perfectly well with scattered friends and family without it. I only opened an account last year because a friend asked me to be her "friend", but I don't really know why I bothered.

Unfortunately the girls in DD's class with Facebook accounts are exactly the ones I wouldn't want DD to have as "friends".

frasersmummy · 21/05/2012 14:18

I am intrigued by the comments that seem to come up a lot in these debates... its a great way to keep up with friends around the world..

seriously how many kids under 13 have friends around the world..yes as they get older and they go to guide camp or school trips etc then I can see that argument but surely in primary their friends are at school, in the street and at local organisations

I know familys can be far flung but surely if a youngster wants to talk to eg his gran in australia... mum or dad can log into face book and show them where to type. Although it shows as mum or dads acct they just need to type hi gran its little xy here

Seriously why does a primary age child need facebook ??

JulesatLaunch · 21/05/2012 14:19

I thought that the reason that Facebook put an age limit of 13 is purely a legal one - in the United States it is illegal for any commercial organisation to hold personal data for anyone under the age of 13 - so they are breaking the law every time a child puts in a false age if they are under 13. Has the law been changed?

Having seen some of the discussion threads taking place between teenagers on FB, I think it's a very bad idea for under 13's to use it. It's almost impossible for parents to monitor everything in real time, even if they are 'friends' of their children on FB, and as others have said, once something is out in the public domain, it is there for ever.

It's bad enough that 13 year olds can use it, please don't let the age be lowered. Will remove the great reason we all have now to say 'no' to our under 13's!

purpleroses · 21/05/2012 14:33

I think 13 is round about the right age really - though 11 or 12 is probably OK for most kids. But the think I'd like them to do is to have the privacy settings for kids fixed to only allow content to be visible to friends, and not to allow 'sharing' of photos ( ie - alow them to upload them onto their own page for their own friends to see, but they do not become visible to friends of friends just because a friend is tagged in a photo, or comments on it).

Not just to have these as the default settings - but to actually prevent them choosing to share information more widely until they're 16 or even 18.

Thought, that said, those that cock up the privacy settings do give their parents a good chance to know what they are up to if they have them as friends on facebook!

Mopswerver · 21/05/2012 14:43

But new protocols for under 18's wouldn't really work would they? Under 13's make up their DOBs to create an account as it is so what would stop them being "over 18"?
frasermummy it's just an accepted way to communicate now. My DD has her cousins (10 of them) who live in the Med as well as her school friend who moved to NZ on hers. They just get to banter together in the way that they would if they were in class together. Most kids on it know that parents are watching which to me makes it less insidious than mobiles...that's where most of the bullying takes place.

kaumana · 21/05/2012 14:48

I'd rather see the age raised.

There is alot of naivety amongst my DS 13 friends parents as to what their children are exposed to. They believe that being a friend of their child is enough to "monitor" Um, no it's not! They are unable to see the newsfeeds, private messages etc. They don't seem to realise that they have no control of what their childs friends post on their own walls of which their kids can see. The photos Shock

I can perhaps understand those who have younger children who just use it for Farmville, family members etc don't see too much of a problem. But the drama that FB causes can not be under estimated eg friendship break ups, pereceived slights, popularity contests i.e. who's getting invited to what party let alone the well discussed topics like bullying.

At the pub the other night friends and I were discussing this. One friend stated that she had no worries over her DD13 FB useage, she was a friend, privacy controls were set to the highest etc. In the space of a couple of minutes I had found her daughters mobile no ( she had responded to a need new numbers public event, to which kids put up when they get a new phone), found pics of her on other open pages and discussions about her DDs appearance at a recent party... Needless to say she was horrified.

Ragwort · 21/05/2012 14:57

I'd rather see it raised too - DH and I have no interest whatsoever in FB, don't have accounts and don't want one, but my 11 year old has been asking about one, if he does get one I guess we will have to have one too to be able to 'monitor' his use - is that what we are supposed to do?

I will need a copy of 'Facebook for Idiots' guide if it exists Grin.

CuppaTeaJanice · 21/05/2012 14:59

Why don't they have a Facebook Junior if they want to extend the brand? It could have limited access to FB features - games, child-friendly groups etc., but no private messages, adult groups or apps. FB users could be friends with FBJs, but their statuses wouldn't automatically appear on their news feeds. Then they could graduate to FB at 13, without losing their photos, timeline etc.

Schnarkle · 21/05/2012 15:04

This is a completely cynical move to get the next generation and their spending power. Facebook has to make money somehow, this is the road they're taking.

Bletchley · 21/05/2012 15:15

The thing is, Facebook isn't there to provide a service to its users. It is worth as much as it is because it can sell advertising to its users, and sell info to companies. People don't pay to use it, but it is worth a fortune. Think about why.

purpleroses · 21/05/2012 15:18

Mopswerver - the only reason users lie about their age is because they're not allowed to use FB if they're under 13. If you removed that restriction, children could (and probably would) give their correct DOB - so they could then automatically have their privacy settings restricted. I don't think many of them would see any need to lie to get the adult settings because most of them don't actually want to share things as widely as currently happens - indeed the whole problem is that FB shares things more widely than most people realise.

YouveCatToBeKittenMe · 21/05/2012 15:20

I read this as Facelift ban for the under 13's and couldn't see why you would disagree with that Blush

I have now read it properly and only my youngest is under 13 and he is not the slightest bit interested in Facebook he's only interested in why he can't have violent killing PS3 games for age 16 and over

NatashaBee · 21/05/2012 15:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FrankWippery · 21/05/2012 15:38

My older three all got FB at the same time as I did, in March 2007, so they would have been 13½, 12½ and 10½. I monitored the older two's use from time to time, but as I was friends with them I could see everything that was one their profiles anyway. We are still FB friends and I still see everything on their walls, including their piss ups Grin

DS could only use FB in the sitting room, on my laptop and when I was around for the first 18m or so. I have never had any concerns with them using it, they are sensible and, amazingly, are not surgically attached to their profiles like some of their friends appear to be.

All three have the tightest security settings and know better than to include very personal info on there. We have friends and family scattered around the planet and it has been and remains a fantastic way of keeping in touch with them.

Mum2Luke · 21/05/2012 16:02

I'm still going to discourage my 10 year old from using FB. There are other sites for children as solidgoldbrass has pinted out and cyberbullying could escalate even further than it is already.

Facebook was meant for over 13's, in my view it should be for over 16's with some of the foul language on it.

Codandchops · 21/05/2012 16:24

I won't let DS have a FB account. He is autistic so is young in his ways. I think what worries me is the inappropriate contact which could be seen. Obviously children run that risk every time they use the Internet but there is a difference between finding stif inadvertently via a search engine and being confronted with it on "your" Facebook page. Some of the stuff I can see because the poster has selected "friends and friends of friends" for visibility is questionable. Certainly would not want DS seeing it.

doormat · 21/05/2012 16:26

ds 3 has had a facebook account for 2 years...he is now 11...he only played the games and briefly chatted to a girl he liked..

gave him the riot act of not adding ppl etc and he has only ever been on it when i am in the same room....

tbh he never uses it now.....

PrematurelyAirconditioned · 21/05/2012 16:30

I think in practice it might be better for children to have legitimate accounts with their real DOBs, which automatically come with pre-locked privacy settings etc rather than lie about their DOBs to get an adult account.
OTOH I don't like FB myself, and have given DD (9) The Talk about "If you're not paying for the service, you're not the customer, you're the product". She would happily sign up for everything going, but she's seen a few things online that she thinks are shocking, (rude words, bitchy comments) and is starting to understand why I impose the rules that I do.

SoupDragon · 21/05/2012 16:36

"They believe that being a friend of their child is enough to "monitor" Um, no it's not!"

And that is why I have their passwords. Far better than them having set up an account on their own.