mn hq, can we have an explanation - jess - and maybe re other trolls in future?

[wannaBe]

I am aware that you can't divulge the means by which you determine whether or not a poster is genuine, predominantly because if you make that common knowledge then posters will know how to avoid being detected in the future.

but jess (long ongoing eleven weeks abortion threads) threads have now been deleted for being a troll, and I was wondering if, given it's the site users who usually report these things, we could perhaps have a bit more by way of explanation?

e.g. when sassysusan was banned, mn hq confirmed that she had previously posted as washwithcare, and users were able to identify.

There has been some speculation that jess was dizzymare, and I wondered whether this was the case?

Also, these threads have been ongoing for over a month now. How is it that it takes quite this long to determine that someone isn't actually all they seem?

[Tmesis]

I really don't think Soupy's comment was a personal attack at all. Granted, I also think that he ought to take her advice but I wouldn't see it as a personal attack even if it were directed at me.

[ShowOfHands]

Pinot have you really only been here a year? Don't worry, give it another 6 and you'll smell them a mile off.

[wannaBe]

I had a bit of a warning about four years ago because I suggested that someone advertising for someone to work for his dvd retailer was in fact running a porn site. because he refused to give any details about the site until you'd given him a completed application form along with your address and telephone number.

I was asked not to post on his thread (for which he had paid) again, so I posted a "I have tried to look out for mumsnetters and have been warned" flounce on chat, which I think gave users fair enough warning...

[HelenMumsnet]

@Northernlurker

Pinot - first thing is don't reveal things about your personal story that you aren't happy for what is basically a ghoul to dine out on. If it will hurt you to see it made use of wrongly then DON'T SAY IT. For me for example on Jess's thread I referred to my own unplanned pregnancy. That's fine, it's not a secret and it's many years ago and it worked out fine. I didn't however say anything about what I did or my intimate stuff because that's my stuff and not for common consumption when I don't trust the OP.
The second thing is think bout your RL safety and don't give out your e-mail or phone numbers. If you want to meet up do it in a VERY public place and take someone with you.

We'd definitely second that advice, NorthernLurker.

And, Pinot, it might help to read this advice from Hecate that we quote in our Talk Guidelines:

"If you think the person is not real, you don't have to post - nobody has a gun at your head! If you suspect the person is false and trying to hurt, or get money, tell MNHQ! How terrible if genuine people - people in trouble, people at the end of their tether - come here as their last hope for some help and advice, are savaged and go off again, feeling terrible and that they don't have anywhere left to turn to?"

[HelenMumsnet]

@Tmesis

I really don't think Soupy's comment was a personal attack at all. Granted, I also think that he ought to take her advice but I wouldn't see it as a personal attack even if it were directed at me.

'Fraid to say it is a personal attack (the "bog off" bit). We're quite clear about that.

[Pinot]

Thanks Northern, genuinely. I tend to lurk on emotional threads, or PM, rather than post onboard as I have previously overshared and felt a tool for doing so. But I believed Jess/felt sad for her. Didn't PM her though.

I dunno, it just makes me feel really really stupid. And vulnerable. And old. I may have to turn off the tinterweb and stick to RL. Quelle horreur.

[Northernlurker]

[Pinot]

Xpost Showy and Helen. Thanks both.

Am I the only one that can't spot 'em then??

[deemented]

No, you ain't Pinot.

[snapsnap]

I think its quite emotionally vampiric (is that a word!) to post looking for advice on a made up problem. Its weird

I can also see how these people could compromise a forum such as this.
However what I cant understand is why posters are so up in arms about trollers. Its not real life after all and surely when you post you are not getting emotionally invested the way you would irl?

[TheOneWithTheHair]

I can't Pinot but I've only been here since December and I've never been on another forum. I was shocked at the suspicions wrt Jess but after I gave it some thought I was glad I only lurked.

[OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere]

Prolly sounds weird but i am glad.
Cos i thought it was just being an old cow.
Because i thought it was all crap from about page 2 thread 1.

I tried to suspend my cynical disbelief because people were being so nice.
I failed. So I didnt look after a while and just assumed I was wrong and bad.

Now I feel a little less of a meany.

[Northernlurker]

Snapsnap - can you give advice based on your personal experience of pain, loss, confusion and distress and NOT get personally involved? I can't. This is why boards like Bereavement are so very vulnerable to the horrors of trolling.

[ShirleyO]

Pinot.



I'll watch out for you. Also, just steer clear from the rellay hyper emosh stuff until your radar is good and adjusted.

Mine got good and honed after dizzy.

[Pinot]

dee! hair!

[Pinot]

[StealthPolarBear]

Yes, I have no relevant experience (ic'm like an anti troll) but still found that thread really upsetting

[Tmesis]

So "Oh FFS get a grip or head off to another website if you don't like this one." would have been OK?

[Northernlurker]

Good to see that 'FFS get a grip' is ok. I was going to have to SERIOUSLY rethink my posting style.

[StarlightDicKenzie]

It's usually when you have been following a thread for a bit and then suddenly find yourself going 'oh god, NOW WHAT?' with impatience or where you see a juicy thread title designed to make maximum impact imo.

[TheOneWithTheHair]

[deemented]