mn hq, can we have an explanation - jess - and maybe re other trolls in future?

[wannaBe]

I am aware that you can't divulge the means by which you determine whether or not a poster is genuine, predominantly because if you make that common knowledge then posters will know how to avoid being detected in the future.

but jess (long ongoing eleven weeks abortion threads) threads have now been deleted for being a troll, and I was wondering if, given it's the site users who usually report these things, we could perhaps have a bit more by way of explanation?

e.g. when sassysusan was banned, mn hq confirmed that she had previously posted as washwithcare, and users were able to identify.

There has been some speculation that jess was dizzymare, and I wondered whether this was the case?

Also, these threads have been ongoing for over a month now. How is it that it takes quite this long to determine that someone isn't actually all they seem?

Again hathor, it's the implication.

Look, there are two ways of doing it:

"OP, I feel that there are a few inconsistences in your OP that need clearing
up if that's ok as it does seem to me that some facts are being drip-fed and we need some clarity in order to help you further."

"OP, you are very inconsistent in your account and are clearly drip-feeding."

Which one do you think will get deleted? By all means provide an example and ask for a clearer explanation, but just by stating that the OP is drip feeding - not even offering it as your opinion, will get your post deleted.

I see your point, Helen - but think to suspend a thread would be better than the hurt caused by an emotional vampire troll.

everlong ?

Wed 22-Feb-12 12:50:53

justonemore no it's not a case of just shrugging shoulders.

Say for instance a troll starts a thread about self harm. She then gets some kind and well meaning person who themselves have self harmed, but has stopped doing it, this poster gives the troll her time invests a lot of energy and gives them her personal account of a distressing time in her life.

Then it turns out it's a troll.

How then does the poster feel?

Everlong, exactly. I don't often go into detail about how I was affected by hilllls, it was a very traumatic period (and most mners come here because they need support themselves) I felt like such a freak, when most women were dieting to lose babyweight I was already under 7st. Skinny women were being criticised everywhere for being unattractive and I was (at one point) suicidal because I felt so useless. Couldn't give birth, couldn't bf, couldn't carry another child... And here was someone who understood. When she "died" I cried. I was scared and called my EDT in bits. But it was a lie. So I really was alone and the freak I always knew I was. I've been here 6y. That was 5y ago and I can only just face it and the depths it pushed me to.

@SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius

I see your point, Helen - but think to suspend a thread would be better than the hurt caused by an emotional vampire troll.

Perhaps it would help to know that we do, very occasionally, ban a suspected "vampire troll" before we're ever so completely 100% sure - just to stop them posting again and keeping the thread alive...

I agree completely with what Maryz says.

Thank-you Helen - I think that does help.

Actually Maryz has raised a good question - if we report, would we be breaching Talk Guidelines if we posted

"I have reported this thread as I believe it breaches the Talk Guidelines"

I've given support to posters about my own personal Achilles Heel subjects, and if I then thought/found out they were trolling me I wouldn't feel angry, I'd feel embarrassed and abused, frankly. Like they took something from me they had no right to. But that teaches me, now I think about it, to not offer so freely and to protect myself a lot more and not necesarily rely on HQ to do it for me.

In essence, HQ can't be held responsible for MNers own decisions to share.

Interesting subject, this. I'm learning loads. Certainly better placed to advice my boys on being internet savvy.

@everlong

Yes I suppose that is generous way to think Helen and if I'm being honest I was only thinking from my pov.

But if I were on a thread where a poster had said that her son had committed suicide and I gave her my time, experience and a lot of support on this matter to then find it was a troll would make me so angry. I can't tell you how much.

Completely understand, everlong. We would be furious on your behalf, too. But imagine if you had started a thread about your son committing suicide and others came on and said they didn't believe you and called you a troll - that would be terrible, too.

There's no easy answer, really, is there about how far you should give of yourself on an emotional thread? Many posters here have suggested no one should give more of themselves that they feel able to, or invest more of their energy into a thread than is healthy for them, however much they may feel for the OP. And that's probably wise advice.

I can't necessarily spell necessarily

I would never offer any more than I am prepared to lose, if that makes sense.

But by the same token, everyone has Achilles Heel subjects, and perhaps is less circumspect with those subjects because they touch a nerve.

Aww c'mon SDTG lovey, rest up:

x-posts with Helen

@hathorinareddress

Actually Maryz has raised a good question - if we report, would we be breaching Talk Guidelines if we posted

"I have reported this thread as I believe it breaches the Talk Guidelines"

Yes it probably would - unless the OP was a spammer or something. Remember, if the OP isn't actually a troll, you're causing hurt and lobbing a hand grenade of bunfighty-ness into the thead; if it is a troll, you're giving her huge amounts of "yeessss, I'm winding them up" satisfaction by announcing your decision to report.

Surely people posting to say: "I have reported this" would be a good thing?

If people did that on one of my threads, I would be happy to read it; I know I'm not a troll, so I don't care if someone reported the thread. Report away.

I would mind if they said: "I have reported this because I don't believe a fucking word of it."

^ what Maryz said

@MaryZ

I personally think that once it became apparent that the op is not going to accept advice, a post from mn hq saying "this is really a matter for social services, it is not a matter for amateurs on a chat site, therefore we are deleting your thread and here are the contact numbers for ISPCC/SS etc" .

Maryz, it's quite possible we may well mail the OP to say precisely that on occasions like this.

But we really can't close/delete threads just because the OP won't accept advice. Just because someone is a mardy cow that's not proof positive she's a troll.

I like that idea ALOT MaryZ.

Stopping the threads cuts off their oxygen, if they're a baddie and if they're genuine, they've received correct advice i.e. contact XYZ and not MN

I'm not sure it's correct to think of MN as a last resort site, anyway, is it?

I am quite new on here and I'm not familiar with everyone's names. What if I suspect someone who turns out to be a long time respected poster?
Do you tell them they have been reported? I would hate to upset someone or make enemies.

Helen YOU CAN if it's causing upset/strife for regulars. YOU CAN!