The media furore of the last few days

[JustineMumsnet]

Hi all,

Wanted to post about the extraordinary press coverage of the Riven story over the last few days as there's been a bit of speculation about what happened and not all of it accurate.

It's a fact that for the press to get excited about an issue they need a human interest angle (with pictures). Riven's post on Mumsnet was ideal but when it came to engagement with the media, Riven's clear intention throughout was to raise the issue of respite care for all and to shy away from her own story. Of course the press pretty much ignored her because if it hadn't had a dramatic personal angle there would have been no story - it simply wouldn't have made the papers. If Riven hadn't already met David Cameron, it wouldn't have made the front page. It was a perfect storm of a story for a press looking for human interest, evidence of cuts causing hardship and a David Cameron angle to boot.

The extent of our own involvement was to pass on the enormous number of media requests of which, as far as I know, Riven only actually responded to only 2 or 3 and one of those (the Mirror) was because they doorstepped her. I also suggested and drafted her statement post the Mirror piece as she was upset the morning after that they'd skewed what she said to turn it into an NHS cuts story. Once it had appeared in the Guardian and the Mirror as front page news it was lifted plus picture by almost every other broadcaster/paper.

The press found out about the story both because there are plenty of journalists who are MNetters and because Twitter and Facebook were alight with it - and as it turned out, the story was exactly what the media was looking for.

For the record we think Riven and those who got behind her to make a noise about carers should feel proud of what they've achieved in the last few days. I've got no doubt that the Government will tread more carefully around provision of care for those with SN than they did before as a direct result of their action. The feedback we've had from the major charities involved is that they've never had so much press interest in the issue and that they are thrilled that it has at last entered the public consciousness. We've also had tonnes of emails from carers thanking Riven/MNetters for raising the issue.

The intention of this post is to give a clearer understanding of how things evolved and were played out. Please feel free to discuss the issues raised here but we will delete posts that pick over Riven's personal situation because we really don't think that's on given the bombardment she's been under the last few days.

Appletrees because I find it sad that my problems in my life and the lives of others like it is considered 'dull'. It might be a fact that that is the case; that doesn't mean I can't feel that that is how my daily problems are perceived.

Anyway, let's not go into that on a thread that isn't really about that.

@nottirednow

"The extent of our own involvement was to pass on the enormous number of media requests "

did you also tweet and join the Facebook campaign?

The way in which the story was presented on the news had as much to do with "the power of mumsnet" as it did with the problems of carers and how a family at the end of their tether get help - or don't. Why was it presented in that particular way unless MN towers was involved?

There are a lot of journalists who use this site. Perhaps whoever initially suggested a vulnerable family might go to the press needs to think about whether that was adding to the pressures of a family in crisis.

I know quite a few politicans and the only change I'd expect is they'll become even more sneaky about hiding what they are up to. Conservatives don't give a damn about the disabled, or anyone else who needs money spent on them, unless they see it hitting their vote. And a bit of newspaper publicity doesn't do it unless it's right before an election because they know that it'll be forgotten by election time.

It might achieve something if the story, or another like it, is publicised near election time. Or if those who were concerned actually look into things like becoming a link family, helping on holidays for the disabled or just being slightly less offensive to disabled families who dare to come onto mumsnet.

Yes we tweeted about the thread and linked to it on our facebook page - like everyone we were keen to raise the issue. The reason the story was couched by some as "The Power of MN" (not by the Guardian incidentally - they only mentioned Mumsnet on page 2 and the Daily Mail never mentioned MN in the 2 large pieces they wrote, only ever saying Riven had posted on a website) is because that's what papers do - they spin things and create angles to add to the interest.

I don't want to speak for Riven and I am sure the attention has been overwhelming for her personally - but she has been offered a bit more help and the issue has been well and truly raised. Most people would agree that that this a good outcome.

@Lougle

Georgimama Riven asked someone to contact 'Dave' and thanked the people who were contacting their media contacts.

Also, I have to say, that the first post by MNHQ also said 'we will contact the press'. That doesn't sound like 'we will field the requests that come to us', more like 'we will make sure the press are aware'.

Yes we did intend to but we soon realised we really didn't need to - the press were all over it. I did call dh who works at the Graun but by the time he got back to me, they'd got in touch anyway.

Just lost long reply.

The upshot was - which posters get attention and which don't can seem unfair, it's a talk board not a democracy.

You should have reported any alleged personal attacks at the time. Bringing it up now isn't really on.

I don;t have any memory of those attacks Herbiw, I am sorry- so cannot respond to those.

And FWIW I know riven felt the smae as I did- that we might get the local news or papers invovled but it would never spiral as it did: we were perhaps naive, naivety isn't a crime and we now have learned.

Nobody should be attacked or pulled apart here: nobody. Most of us try to be as supportive as we can and I am going to be truthful: I am startibg to think being active on here will negatively impact my chances of getting work in RL (carer support).

Perhaps we cal all draw a line, forget past arguments (heck, even angelic me has had a few ) and move on? having learned that ALL people inpacted by ilives they did not choossse, incvluding disability, illness and caring responsbibilities, struggle and need a bit of support?

and the point of bring that previous agrument onto this post would be...?

Sorry to delete you again HerbieTea but as we said in the OP this isn't a thread to have a go at individuals. I'm sorry if you've felt got at in the past - all I can say is that we don't allow personal attacks and if they occur do report them so we can get rid.

Herbie, I have no idea what your second message said, it was deleted before I came back. If you feel in need of support on MN, ask for some. Riven posted in chat in the thread which started all this rather than SN (ironically I wonder if she wanted it to disappear at a later point, she knows the boards well enough to know how chat works) so it got a lot of traffic. Perhaps you could start a thread in SN so you get that crowd's expert input but link it from chat if you want more general support?

Attacking other posters, even if you feel wronged yourself, is not the way to get support.

"The Power of Mumsnet" to me doesn't necessarily imply MNHQ involvement, but the efforts of many many individual MNers.

When people talk about the power of Twitter or Facebook, they don't mean that Zuckerberg or whoever invented Twitter had anything to do with it, they mean that this was the means of communicating and spreading the word.

herbietea, clearly your upset with this, and what has happened in the past, but this isnt all about R, its about all carers and mainly their children.
Can you seriously say you are that upset by Rs DD getting some much needed time and care from someone who isnt exhasted?

If it was a personal attack you you have reported it, if not maybe it was a matter of differenting opinions

I think the situation before last week and after IS different: fior a start said poster is vulnerable to reporters still.

However I also know that I mailed you and offered support herbie and that still stands so not everyone is seeing only one side I can promise.

This is so frustrating because actually what happened is extraordinary and there are several interesting discussions to be had from it. But every conversation becomes hijacked and all you can hear is the faint screech of axes being ground.

I thought the whole thing was mad, a huge runaway elephant of good intentions. But I think it was born of one persons despair and a collective desire to do something. Of course there was band wagon arrivals but that will always be the case. I never thought it was going to end well but would be delighted to be wrong. Delighted.

But the fact that riven isn't here is a shame. A high price to pay for the support she needed. Only she really will know in 6months time if it was worth it and I hope, really hope it was. Anyone who is at breaking point needs help and it is not anyones fault, least of all hers that her case provoked such a reaction.

When I have been down and desperate and needing help I can guarantee that my actions have never been sensible or rational. I wonder how anyone possibly thinks that would be the case.

Thanks for the update.

Also:

it is true that parentc arers have been over represented here BUT I don;t think that is a surprise on a parent forum.

It's exactly as it should be no?

give us ten years and a lot of us will ahve elderly parents to care for and have a different side, another few and many of us will be disabled by age or caring for somone who is: that's how life is. Different websites represent different snapshots of life.

That's evident just by looking at post numbers in the different SEN sections isn't it?

Am thinking about setting up a forum for carers but that's ages away (as in, DH can help but is busy running two FT occupations and being a father and DH and I just stare blackly at the screen LOL) on that you woudl be mroe than welcome herbie. As ytou are here but can understand why you feel under represented.

@herbietea

I was telling Peachy, lisa, and highlighting the double standards which surrounded Riven on here. We're not allowed to discuss what has gone on, or her previous posts, it all gets deleted. But she can make personal attacks on people, and it wasn't just me, and MNHQ, as do a lot of other posters, look in the other direction and let her get on with it. It is sickening.

Yes you're allowed to discuss what went on, you just can't make personal attacks. It's one of our very few rules. We don't always see them however so if you think any have occurred you need to let us know.

@Toughasoldboots

Herbie didn't post a personal attack , she explained what had happened and it was relevant to the point that she was trying to make.
This is completely proving what she has been trying to say.
Hello Peachy

I can only repeat what I wrote in the OP: "Please feel free to discuss the issues raised here but we will delete posts that pick over Riven's personal situation because we really don't think that's on given the bombardment she's been under the last few days."

I really do hope Riven and her family are well and they are now getting the support/will be getting very soon the support that they need.

To be honest, this has been happening to families like Rivens for years and has nothing to do with local authority cuts. I've been told of families sitting in the reception of social services here and refusing to leave as they have been refused support for a severly disabled child. One child I cared for was too large to be carried upstairs by his mother and social services wouldn't help them, meaning he was sleeping downstairs and his mother slept on the floor next to him! This was in 2005. Childrens services and those for the elderly are always underfunded and are the first affected when there are cuts. I don't blame the current government as they don't tell the Local Authorities where to make the cuts but I do think that they should ring fence some of the funds that they give to them because it will be spent elsewhere. Derby city council for example is spending millions renovating the council house while staff are losing their jobs and services are being slashed. Rediculous!

I think the point is that MNHQ are trying to watch the back of a poster who has been through the ringer a fair bit over the last week. Not to mention the fact that there are no doubt DM/Gruaniad/Mirror journos doing a daily "Riven" search on MN to see if there are any interesting developments.

May I be the first to predict the "Vipers Nest: the ugly side of MN" type DM article (selectively) quoting this thread?

My concern with what happened is that Riven posted saying she couldn't cope. On the back of a very short post, with no real information (ie had social services agreed; had Riven been using it as a threat to get more help; was it a cry for help; how much respite did she actually get etc etc) and with no request for anything but a reply, people tripped over themselves to contact journalists/ the PM/ Liz Hurley fgs/ set up Facebook sites etc. Without asking if they should, and without knowing exactly what the situation was. It was only later that Riven asked someone to contact the PM.
I think Mumsnet HQ should decide whether guidelines should be issued about appropriate, centralised responses of this kind.

Thanks Justine Although am concerned that DH doesn't ring you back immediately? . I'd post about that in AIBU if I were you.

Best Wishes to Riven and family.