Semantics? Expressing desire

[HurdyGurdy19]

If your partner wants to express a desire to have intimacy with you, how would they say it? What would you find acceptable?

Would you rather have it couched in romantic terms, (e.g. I want to make love with you), or is raw language (e.g. I want to fuck you) accepted?

Does it matter what the situation is? e.g. you are out and they express it, or when you are starting to be intimate, and it's "in the moment".

Or is just all the same thing and it doesn't matter how it is expressed?

I like it raw. But it’s just how our relationship developed.

I prefer .... "why don't we head to bed?" - with a cheeky smile or wink. Whether we're on the sofa or a night out.

Personally, too much "I want to fuck you" can leave me feeling a bit .... used. Personally, there's making love - something that's slow and sensual and there's fucking - hard, fast.

It's all very mood and situation based for me.

It depends on the individual, but communication is key, tell them what works for you and encourage them to tell you what works for them.

I have recently learned that expressing desire is actually good for both partners, not selfish as I had sort of felt before. It has really helped.

It completely depends on the situation/mood for me, I think both approaches have their time and place.

There's a whole spectrum of sayings that can be expressed.

I'd find anything acceptable if it fitted the moment. And actually, sometimes incongruity is hot as well 😁

in a marriage of over 20 years all I ever got was a hopeful, “so how are you feeling darling?!” On retiring to bed.

i much prefer something more desirous! Of either the making love or fucking variety!

Early night dear?

I keep imagining a 'Nudge Nudge Wink Wink' now! 😂

Thank you.

I agree that it depends on the situation and the timing.

I get a lot of "I want to fuck you", which at the right time and place can be hot, or a turn on (whatever the phrase is these days 😀), but like @AtYourPleasure , it can feel a bit detached or mechanical. More around the action and end result than the emotions.

I wasn't sure if I was being a bit princessy, but I think it's time for a chat around language 😊

🤣 I suppose it is a bit!

It's not something I've ever really given much thought to. Now that I have..... I really do prefer something more romantic.... or less obvious. I do think "I want to fuck you" has its place and can be a huge turn on but I've spent a lot of time feeling like the only reason I'm wanted is for sex, so someone telling me they want to fuck me has started to lose its appeal. That said, I don't necessarily want a guy to constantly say "let's make love". I'm quite alright with him whispering (or sending a text) how he wants to take me upstairs and ravish me! Or do naughty things with me! He can even give me details of those naughty things.

It all depends on the situation. Sometimes I like to be told what he wants in no uncertain terms other times a girl needs romancing

It's all a bit of a minefield, isn't it. You maybe in the mood to be pounded and he may be in the mood for something slow and romantic. Who's going to compromise, or does the moment fizzle out before it gets started? What if your non-sexual relationship is good, but you're constantly mismatched sexually?

Think of the number of people who've posted here about they or their partner losing interest altogether, or just losing their libido. Or the red flags that have appeared after the first flush of a new relationship have passed by.

I can well remember my wife being desperate to fuck at certain times of the month and just 'meh' at other times, whereas I was always pretty much up for it. And while we did get into fairly regular routines or habits, there were times when it got very torrid and we tried something new.

There were certainly times when I tried different approaches to initiate, some more successful than others and when we'd got kids in the house it became even trickier when we had to find the right time AND both be in the mood.

Like I said, a bit of a minefield.