Husband won't go down on me

[bumblebee1821]

We've been together 21 years. Have a great sex life. Both in late 30s. He won't go down on me. He hasn't said it in those words but he doesn't do it. In 21 years maybe he's done it 3 times? Did he just hate it? Is he scared of failure? We've kind of talked about it but he doesn't really say much

I think you just need to have a conversation. It sounds like it’s important to you, which I understand as it’s important to me. Maybe he doesn’t like it, which is fine, maybe he thinks you don’t like what he does/when he’s done it. I take the view that you can’t make someone do what they don’t want to do but at the same time that works both ways. I also don’t subscribe to if he doesn’t like going down on you then you automatically don’t go down on him if you like doing it. That’s not how a mature relationship works.

Ultimately it could come down to how important it is to you and what impact it’s having.

Is it a cleanliness issue? My wife and I give each other oral every time we have sex, but we always shower first.

Is it a hair issue? My wife shaves. The smoothness of her skin and the absence of hairs tickling me or getting in my mouth make it even more enjoyable.

Or maybe it's a confidence issue? It is nice to be told that you're hitting the right spot or that your rhythm is pleasurable. It took a while for us to be really explicit with each other about what we like.

No - but you simply criticise for the sake of it with no actual help
you criticised the OP saying her sex life wasn’t good ( your subjective opinion)

you then criticised the OP choice of marriage

talk about kicking someone when they are down- all you do is make people feel worse about themselves without offering any actual help

@AtBeaverGoat - 3 supportive reactions received to my posts on this thread; content for MNHQ to verify. How many have you received?

l’m at a loss when you say the OP didn’t mention marriage, the title of the thread refers to “husband”.

May l invite the OP to come back and opine her thoughts?

Edited to add final sentence. Pressed send too soon in error.

I doubt if OP will return @StarlightLady after some of the supercilious comments.
Posting on a public forum opens up opinion whether subjective or objective. I'm sure OP is intelligent and mature enough to discern.