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Original poster

Exploring dominance

9 replies

Imowningup · 08/09/2026 14:22

I’ve been with my partner for approx 18 months and have a wonderful relationship, including intimacy.

Since becoming intimate I’ve always thought he might like BDSM/being dominated although I might be completely off with this. He frequently goes on his knees in front of me, it’s almost his natural or preferred position. He uses language referring to “adoring” “chastise” etc
he jokingly says he gets turned on when I embarrass him or am strict with him. We already enjoy blindfolds, being tied up etc
Im absolutely willing to experiment but don’t want to bring it up and risk him thinking I’m asking for that (which I’m not although I’d be happy to explore it).

please suggest how I bring this up!

OP posts:
ThisZippyTurtle · 08/09/2026 16:32

"Tell me, DH, when you say 'adoring', just how much adoration do you mean?"

Original poster
Imowningup · 08/09/2026 16:55

Is this well know dominance code 😂

OP posts:
ThisZippyTurtle · 08/09/2026 17:02

I thought it did a few things...it means you only probe when he's in the moment, so you're not suggesting it's your initiative, and it also allows him to disclose what he's comfortable with!

Angela59 · 09/09/2026 04:26

Use your sexuality to get him to open up.
Dominance can be an enlightening experience for both of you if you can just get him to open up & the best why to find out his deepest desires is during intimacy x

moderate · 09/09/2026 07:44

Have you ever tried sitting on his face?

BunnyOnTheOnion · 09/09/2026 08:51

Playfully lean into it and gauge his reaction, if it's his 'thing' you'll know you've hit the spot! If it's not no harm done.

Ask him if he's been 'good' and what his reward should be? Or maybe tell him he's not allowed to move or touch while you undress and if/ when he does, say he's been disobedient and what does he think his punishment should be? Next time he's on his knees, lift his chin and hold his gaze, tell him he looks goods on his knees/ it suits him/ he's been good etc.

You'll be able to test the waters and also give him the opportunity to say that he liked it when you did/ said the thing. You can ask use that to ask if it's something he wants to explore further.

ThisZippyTurtle · 09/09/2026 08:56

BunnyOnTheOnion · 09/09/2026 08:51

Playfully lean into it and gauge his reaction, if it's his 'thing' you'll know you've hit the spot! If it's not no harm done.

Ask him if he's been 'good' and what his reward should be? Or maybe tell him he's not allowed to move or touch while you undress and if/ when he does, say he's been disobedient and what does he think his punishment should be? Next time he's on his knees, lift his chin and hold his gaze, tell him he looks goods on his knees/ it suits him/ he's been good etc.

You'll be able to test the waters and also give him the opportunity to say that he liked it when you did/ said the thing. You can ask use that to ask if it's something he wants to explore further.

This is excellent advice. Wonderful.

OneTake · 09/09/2026 12:34

BunnyOnTheOnion · 09/09/2026 08:51

Playfully lean into it and gauge his reaction, if it's his 'thing' you'll know you've hit the spot! If it's not no harm done.

Ask him if he's been 'good' and what his reward should be? Or maybe tell him he's not allowed to move or touch while you undress and if/ when he does, say he's been disobedient and what does he think his punishment should be? Next time he's on his knees, lift his chin and hold his gaze, tell him he looks goods on his knees/ it suits him/ he's been good etc.

You'll be able to test the waters and also give him the opportunity to say that he liked it when you did/ said the thing. You can ask use that to ask if it's something he wants to explore further.

Try this @Imowningup

InconsistencyIsKey · 10/09/2026 21:01

Tie him up and push him around- do all this playfully first and then you can gauge how serious he is about it and how interested you are in it.

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