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How to handle sexy talk and preferences with a new partner

2 replies

MarmadukeM · 23/08/2026 14:32

A few months ago my 23 year marriage ended so I have found myself single for first time since my early 20s. I met someone OLD and long story short we recently spent night together and had sex. It was by no means ‘bad’ - he is great kisser and foreplay side of things was amazing so no complaints there and I’m keen to go back for more lol. The thing is though, he was kind of into sexy talk and I’m just not used to it! The content was fine, nothing weird and I suppose would be quite a turn on in some respects, like ‘I’m going to cum, that feels good’ etc so yeah no weirdness. What threw me a bit was he was calling me baby and I found it off putting, and he was kind of talking like a young lad asking permission and stuff rather than taking the lead - I felt like I was the man! Anyone else been with someone who talks like that? He asked me if I had any fantasies and I said no lol as I don’t and then he said he did but he wouldn’t tell me but he might tell me this week. He didn’t want to say because I don’t have any (should I have a think and make one up?!). I am wondering if from the way he was talking that he may want to be dominated. I wouldn’t know where to start with that one - I have lived a very vanilla life! I was thinking of telling him I’d find it really hot if he said my name when we were fucking because I think that would be good and it would stop the ‘baby’ thing. I’m sure I did of putting things also ha ha but yes I just wondered what’s the best way to address things. I would never tell him I didn’t like something, so that’s why i was thinking of saying that the calling me by my name would turn me on would deal with it. If I say nothing it’s going to continue and I don’t think I like it!

OP posts:
MySXforumnn · 23/08/2026 17:11

If you can't have the conversation with him face to face, and do it kind of gently and light heartedly, you can also do it over text.

Maybe initiate a conversation asking about his fantasy and thing of some things you might like to try you can suggest - doesn't have to be too wild at first!

As part of that conversation you can suggest to him that he calls you by your name and that you aren't so keen on baby. Just keep it light.

I was having some chat with a woman who started calling me "daddy". I fucking hated it, but the rest was good, so I said something like "I love the way you talk to me, but can you drop the daddy, I'm not so keen". She apologised, dropped it and we never mentioned it again.

WillyCroakit · 27/08/2026 09:39

Hi Op

The stand out to me here is that you would never tell him if you didn’t like something which always amazes me. If you’re prepared to get naked and exchange body fluids in the most intimate way . Then having an adult conversation about it should be easier.

Regards his asking rather than leading if he’s been dating regularly recently and your new in from a long marriage it could also be that he’s navigating consent . I think that days of just going with on a first date as a man is risky and I would consent for each individual act .

It could also be an easy form of sexy talk is describing what’s happening which is easy to reciprocate if you wanted to lean into it .

Telling him you don’t like baby but would find your name hot sounds fine also telling him it’s not for you also fine.

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