Never had casual sex before but I think I want to. I'm wondering how best to go about it

[CasualDemelza]

Hello. I've not discussed anything of this nature on MN before, but I've decided to just name change and go for it. I'm 47 and I have been single for the past 3 years. I was divorced at 44. I haven't had sex during that time. I have recently noticed that I have been thinking about sex quite often. I masturbate most days to satisfy myself, but I feel as if there is a part of me that really wants the real thing - especially the lusty, passionate kind, which I haven't had for a very long time. I keep fantasising about men, including men who I have noticed in public and thought were attractive. I've been thinking about having casual sex, but I've never done it before. I've only ever had long-term relationships. I haven't used any apps or anything like that. I am wondering what my best options would be to safely find a partner in this way.

Depends on what your sexual preferences are OP. If you just want vanilla or kink and fetish.
For vanilla probably POF & tinder, hinge, bumble through to feeld, pure, the naughty pond and fabswingers for the more extreme.

Its normal you feel like this and yes masturbation is normal also. I masturbate everyday and im have a DP also.
You should join a dating site and find a person who you can enjoy eachother rather than some random man. You deserve better

Just think back to those times when a man started chatting to you or actually made a play for you.
Could you recreate those situations?

Set up a profile on one of the main free dating sites (I find Bumble and Hinge are best, and least tacky).

When filling in the 'What I'm Looking For' option, don't say 'looking for casual', but 'open to seeing where things go' or similar, which gently flags up possibilities. You'll have no shortage of interest, so be selective. Then meet over a drink and check the other person out to see if you click and they seem decent and trustworthy. I'd avoid hook-up sites and the like.

Serious question and safe suggestion. Do you have a friend who could help? There’s nothing wrong with having sex with a good friend who is unattached.

If you are going to use an online site, l would suggest saying “for friendship, perhaps more”.

@StarlightLady makes a good point actually. I know lots of women on an acquaintance level. If any of them asked me discreetly or gave me some strong hints I would give it some thought.
Provided it was NSA or simply as Friends.

I have never thought of having sex with a male friend. As of right now, I could possibly see it happening with one, but I wouldn't know how to bring up something like that. Also @tanoshi I prefer vanilla sex. I've not really done any kinky stuff.

If it's vanilla you want then it's probably better to stick to the mainstream apps rather than the extreme ones.
Have you had any conversations with this potential friend? Might be an idea to bring it up in a casual and roundabout way. Sort of "fed up of relationships" "much prefer something casual" I think it's a situationship for me next time" "Can't be doing with anything serious right now"

"how about you?"

You get the idea!

Those suggestions certainly sound better than me saying I desperately want a shag - even though that would technically be right, it's a bit too full-on for me.😄

I’ve had sex with a few friends in my time and no regrets. I’ve never fallen out with someone as a result.

Don't ask, don't get!! No pain, no gain!!