Where to find casual encounters as a woman

[BobbityBoooo]

I have spent many years being celibate and so done with it now so now it’s time to get back out there, only where do people find causal sex as a woman? I know online seems like the obvious answer but I don’t want to advertise it or for people to recognise me on there? (I think maybe not a pic then only showing on when moved to WhatsApp?) also is it safe meeting men online for sex? Another thing is I will only have school hours free due to being a lone parent so quite restrictive but I guess it’s better than nothing.

From*

And the majority of mobility scooters parked outside have still got all their wheels

I can recommend telegram of you are worried about giving out your WhatsApp

I agree with this. Set up a profile on fab, hide it immediately, and set your filters to no messages from single males, accounts without pics, new accounts etc. Then browse at your leisure. If you decide to message a guy, he can reply to you, despite having those filters set.

I personally immediately delete messages where the message is a generic copy & paste one, where they have a blank silhouette as their profile pic, where they have publicly viewable dick pics, where they have pics of a woman without her being tagged in it, where they have ‘will fill in later’ or ‘ask me anything’ on their profile, any first message containing a dick pic, etc etc. It’s a policy that’s served me well there over the years and I’ve met some great FWBs there. Good luck!

This isn't something I've done, but it's worth being aware of.

Facebook is better than a private detective when it comes to stalking skills. I have had several friend suggestions of people I've talked to on WhatsApp after meeting them on dating apps. So from knowing a first name or a possible alias, I've been offered their full name and whatever other information is publicly available on Facebook. (A surprising amount.)

I have to assume other people are getting suggested me as well! If you're concerned about this, either don't have a Facebook account or have info on it very heavily locked down, or talk to people on other apps not WhatsApp.

I just went and had a look at Facebook and in the privacy settings the default is that people with your phone number can have you suggested as a potential friend. I've turned that off now.

Anyway, back to the original question - the usual apps if you are straightforward. Feeld, We are X, and Fab/clubbing have been productive for me 😁 If you are seriously looking (I've recently started what looks like it will be a serious relationship (yay me) and have a couple of FWBs so I'm not), I would suggest paying for whichever app you use. E.g. on Feeld if you pay you can go incognito - you won't get seen by anyone unless you like them which is way less overwhelming.

I never give someone my phone number until I’ve met them in person and established we want to meet again. And sometimes even at that I use telegram.

Whatsapp is introducing usernames, the same as Telegram, so you don't have to give people your phone number for them to speak to you on Whatsapp.

It will be interesting to see if it still suggests people on Facebook after this. Apologies for helping to derail the thread.

They've been talking about that for a while though, haven't they?

And I think when talking about meeting men, thinking about meeting them safely has to be part of it. I have to say that I've never had any trouble and I've had a few potentially risky meets, but not everyone is lovely.

Its started to come in. I've reserved my username.

Probably! But, I couldn’t sleep with men for casual sex. I think my vagina would bolt up shut! I just couldn’t do it.

BobbityBoooo
Try POF or other dating sites.
Women really have a pick of men, it's just how it is, so goodnews for you.

Don't give your phone number to anyone you can set up discord which doesn't share your number or signal-you have to select hide number in settings.

Kik was a good first move off the websites. Is that no longer the case?

We only did telegram after we met.

@OfcourseitsaNC I used kik for a while, but i found it a bit unstable and full of ads and spam accounts that kept trying to make contact. I much prefer telegram now, but will be happy to use whatsapp when the usernames come in properly.

Love this take no prisoners approach. It’s the way to go for single women. Make it work for you.

It’s the only way to manage fab, in my view. And I am a prolific blocker too- if I’m not interested based on a message or or profile, I block. Saves the whiny ‘why won’t you meet me’ messages and the abusive ones after they’re rejected.

I found myself wanting to have some ‘casual sex’, in reality just some NSA FwB type set up. But as a teacher it is impossible to use the apps without the risk of students finding out and the more obvious sex based ones are potentially career ending.

i joined lots of activities. The running club proved effective, as I started training with a lovely young man who was happy to help scratch the itch on a semi regular basis

Another vote for fab with iron clad boundaries. I met 3 fantastic guys over 4 years, all very different but definitely not creeps or weirdos.

I posted faceless pics of me in my underwear (I was in a sensitive job) and a very straightforward profile stating exactly what I was looking for. Id tried dating apps like tinder but I felt they were too vanilla for me. The best sex of my life is in my late 30s after my divorce and I couldn't be happier 😌

I would say weed out the obvious creeps and weirdos, only respond to a decent effort and you'll find someone no problem at all.

Fab has been incredible, DH and I both on it now 🙈

try fab flirts, just been on there and received a lot of male attention which was fun in itself and not overloaded with dick pics and dick heads either

I'm curious to know what the advice would be for men in the same position and with many of the same concerns? Hanging around garden centers, M&S or Weatherspoons (even the poshest ones) isn't particularly effective. I recently learned that men reading books in public is now considered a red flag by some.
Having to show your face on (eg) FAB would be (as @TurningPots put it) career ending, or worse, for men in many careers.
Maybe one just has to systematically work through all the Hot Ukranian Single Women that Hotmail suspects are spammers, or the plethora of pneumatic 30 somethings looking for an older man on the more mainstream dating sites - they can't all be catfish ... surely!

@IHE That’s why I went old school and joined activities. My Running, yoga and gym have several single ladies trying to get in shape after divorce and peri have hit. Give them a try

And @IHE it is awful for certain careers to be on the apps. One of my colleagues, a lovely young man, had to leave when one of the students found his tinder profile. They printed pictures from it and posted them, he got hounded on social media by students and parents. It’s not good

I suspect if a middle aged man, needing "to get in shape after divorce", turned up to a pilates class and tried to engage in conversation, he'd be viewed with just as much suspicion as if he were reading The Handmaid's Tale with an Amex card on the table next to his soy frapachino in Gails at 10:30am on a week day. He'd be at best naively optimistic if thought he'd bump into to the OP when she was cruising for "casual encounters".🤣

Lol but you would get plenty of interrsted men in there thats for sure