Where to find casual encounters as a woman

[BobbityBoooo]

I have spent many years being celibate and so done with it now so now it’s time to get back out there, only where do people find causal sex as a woman? I know online seems like the obvious answer but I don’t want to advertise it or for people to recognise me on there? (I think maybe not a pic then only showing on when moved to WhatsApp?) also is it safe meeting men online for sex? Another thing is I will only have school hours free due to being a lone parent so quite restrictive but I guess it’s better than nothing.

I had a lot of success on a now defunct site similar to POF.

I found 2 half decent FWBs for regular sex - one turned into a situationship of sorts for 4 years where we met each others friends and family.

I had several coffee meet ups that didn't go anywhere. I had a few that did. Not more than once or twice, but they were good fun too.

My profile pic was my boobs in a bra. I only ever shared a face pic if I'd done some digging online to see if they were who they said they were too.

Best of luck.

You should be careful about being too open about wanting sex though on the profile because otherwise you might attract losers who expect you to act like a porn star and complain if you don’t want to be smacked around in bed. (Bitter experience).

This is what I worried about, I wouldn’t want to put it on my profile, just because I’m open to casual sex doesnt mean im not fussy with who!

Exactly right! You can be fussy and I would encourage you to be.

You do realise that AM is a site set up for married/coupled up people to have affairs? It’s not a “regular” dating site, so surprised you were so concerned about him not being separated if you purposely joined that site to find someone.

Had no idea about that website, yeah I wouldn’t be interested in sleeping with married men!

No, I missed that somehow. It was a weird and difficult time in my life and I probably wasn't thinking clearly.

I put an enigmatic 3 words on my profile. That was enough to get inundated with 300+ messages in a day.

Most men showed who they were in that first message. Bin.

Some men got a reply. Their responses to that made me decide to continue the conversation or not.

Everyone bar a few got easily weeded out in this process.

The guy who turned into the situationship said early on how my 3 word profile intrigued him and that he spent a lot of time considering how to first message me, as he knew he had to stand out from the crowd if he wanted a chance at meeting me.

So I wouldn't advise being overt about what you want. Be subtle, as it allows the men to tell you what they want. You can then decide to take up their offer of not.

Canary Wharf grandstand bar, ill
be there this afternoon if anyone around

I still think garden centres with cafes are a potential hot bed for casual sex.

Only the fancy ones

I have used Ukfreedating to “scratch that itch” in the past
Lots of filtering needed & definitely lots married men there but generally ok

Go on one of the respectable free dating sites (Bumble and Hinge are both good). When filling in the 'What I'm Looking For' option, don't say 'looking for casual' but 'open to seeing where things go' or similar, which gently flags up possibilities. You'll have no shortage of interest. Be selective. Then meet over a drink and check the guy out to see if you click and they seem trustworthy. If you like them and they seem genuine you can raise the option of FWB.

Definitely avoid hook-up sites and sex clubs, given the number of weirdos and creepy men. And, as others have said here, the number of men who frequent them who expect extreme and kinky stuff.

There are some nice guys on Fab, but it's slim pickings. Largely it will be 'im a man looking to meet a woman' or 'new here, will fill this in later' on a 3 year old profile, and plenty of largely unappealing dick pics. But the good ones, oooft, they're worth wading through the crap for!
They're not all swingers or into kink, their profiles usually say if they are so you can give them a swerve.
A new profile with no pics will still generate a substantial amount of messages. I've no interest in even chatting with someone, much less meeting them, who thinks sending a generic 'hey beautiful' to a picture-less profile is going to work.
If you decide to use fab, turn your message filters on straight away, and browse who is in your area, and reach out to them if you see anything you like.
Ultimately, wherever you meet someone for this, you are in control, be as selective as you like because a) let's face it, as a woman you'll have plenty of offers and b) boundaries are still important even if it is just something casual.
Still do the online protocol - speak on the phone or video call first, arrange to meet in public, let someone know where you are.
On a practical note, for casual encounters, please get std tested regularly and use condoms.

A fancy Wetherspoons? Does such a thing exist? 🤣🤣🤣

I would imagine there's a lot of looking and maybe smiling at each other going on in these dens on iniguity ( Tesco, Aldi,Spoons, garden centres, parks etc) but no-one is suggesting coffee for fear of rejection or fear of judgement. Whereas those who don't give a fuck about rejection and judgement are getting laid on a regular basis :)

@tanoshi How right you are.
My recommendation is watch how men get off with women. They are not put off by rejection. They don't play through all the "what if" scenarios before speaking. They go for it. If lady says no, they move on to the next.

The ones were the carpet are not sticky yet

Thanks…

I’m debating going on Feeld… and as an apparently ‘attractive’ and ‘decent’ man it’s a relief to hear most men don’t make an effort. Hopefully it’ll help me stand out more!

Perhaps it's the difference in the outlook. Women like to be romanced and guys don't really need to be.
I like the flirting, the banter and the chase. It makes it all the more worthwhile when DTD happens

Do not meet multiple men for casual sex. It’s not safe and you’ll end up feeling pretty rubbish. Find a FWB - someone you can develop a friendship with and who will provide the missing sex and passion in your life.

Aren’t you more likely to develop feelings that way?

Don’t dismiss old flames
At least you know what you’re getting

No old flames and I wouldn’t be contacting anyone for 15 years ago 🤣