NC for this post. Wife and I’s sex life has always been great periods and not so great but always dictated by my wife and she always expects me to make the first move which is ok but would be nice if she instigated it once in a while.
Wife and I are equal with chores, cooking etc, I typically do bedtime with the youngest and then kids activities when I’m able to with work but always present at weekend etc so no issues with that and me doing my fair share. Because of kids of different ages older teens and primary school child aswell we have to schedule sex which I’m ok with but it just feels so one sided and always the same but my wife seems to think well we’re having sex so what’s the issue. Few weeks back wife said go upstairs and she will be up shortly, start watching some porn and she will join once she’s finished what she was doing then she text about 10mins later saying she can’t be bothered and just finish myself off. It left me quite annoyed and frustrated as just not the same. Of a night she will want a foot massage most nights and me cuddling her and I said the other night that everything she asks for I do but it would be nice for her to realise this and once every so often to give back a little bit.
for me sex or foreplay isn’t just a tick box of we’ve done it this week, it’s the connection, the feeling of skin on skin, our time but most nights she will just sit on her phone scrolling or messaging people which i have no issues with but i feel like that occasionally it could be swapped for us time when the kids are in bed. When I mention it, I get a sorry the next day and a short change then back to how it was.