Should I be concerned about my wife reading graphic male romance?

[Throwawayguy]

The other day I had to move my wife’s kindle and it accidentally turned on. It revealed a few book covers on it. All the book covers had shirtless guys on it. Intrigued I decided to investigate further. What I discovered was a lot of gay MM romance books. Some MMM books. I was confused so I skimmed a few and found out they were really really graphic. Describing in very graphic detail oral and anal sex. For context, my wife is very shy about sexual things. Refusing to ever talk about it. Won’t even call body parts their regular names ( like penis is wewee). Should I be concerned that my wife is reading this? Do any other ladies read gay male smut? What is the appeal of this material?

Perhaps she's thinking of pegging you

I highly doubt that. I asked her about any kinks a little while ago and she said nothing. Like I said, she is very vanilla.

Well, lots of blokes like to watch and read about lesbian goings-on don't they!

Well I guess so, but I did not think women thought this way. It will be interesting to see some other women post here with their thoughts.

The Heated Rivalry effect https://www.bbc.co.uk/culture/article/20260119-after-heated-rivalry-women-are-driving-a-gay-erotic-boom-on-screen

There's something fascinating about seeing a more vulnerable side of men via romance/ erotica written from a MM perspective.

Are you asking us whether your wife is a gay man? 🧐

No. I’m just asking what the appeal is for that type of erotica from a ladies perspective.

So it’s the vulnerability of gay men? Or that gay men are put into submissive positions?

Not a submissive thing but the vulnerabilty of men (not because they are gay).

Just my opinion but most straight romance / erotica / porn with a man in it has the man being confident, experienced, older, slightly dominating and genrally controlling the pace of things. He's doing and the woman is receiving.

In a MM storyline you often see it from the perspective of a relatively inexperienced man, there will be a character discovering his sexuality, stolen glances, tension building from lingering looks, tentative first kisses, falling in love and then mind blowing sex! There's a lot there a woman can relate to but there is novelty in seeing it from a man's perspective. It's unusual to see that side of a male character in straight romance/ erotica. So you have that character and the other character is the familiar strong 'lead' so you have both erotic energies in one storyline.

MM storylines.... often some external barriers to overcome, usually one of then isn't 'out' so it's secretive, forbidden love with the characters often taking big risks for their love interests, all very romantic!

Obviously the men are also generally aesthetically pleasing too which helps!

Not a submissive thing but the vulnerabilty of men (not because they are gay).
Thank you for that, I hadn't thought of that point of view.

So would a MF erotica with a controlling/dominating female and a submissive man have the same effect? Would that be just like the MM erotica?

I haven't read much erotica with that dynamic (M/F - sub/dom) but I don't know that it would incorporate the love/ romance/ tension in the same way as the MM stuff I have read.

I don't think it is a sub/ dom thing that appeals to women about MM fiction, rather that the male characters have (between them) both vulnerability and strength / confidence (and are gorgeous with amazing bodies!) and theres tension and taboo... all the things a woman might reasonably fantasise about if she is into men!

Interesting. Thank you for your perspective.

I’m a woman and it wouldn’t do a thing for me at all, and neither would lesbian stuff for that matter.

Could you mention it to her or would that just be too much for her, if she’s shy about sex?

@User33538216 do you like straight MF erotica though?

I'm not even that into men but I thought Heated Rivalry was pretty hot! www.instagram.com/reel/DXfRQ-7AGkU/?igsh=MXV5cG14YnI5M2xhdQ==

Most MM erotica is written and read by women. And far more women read it than would admit to it. I think part of it is that it involves the great parts of men without the downsides. It is how we wish men were.

And yes I read it.

Human sexuality is complex. Just because you like reading one thing it doesn’t translate into what you do in real life. Thats literally what fantasies are. I wouldn’t read too much into it, other than your wife is a gloriously interesting and complex human being with a sexual side that mirrors this.

I know that would be too much for her. She’ll either get really mad about it or she’ll be really embarrassed than get mad about it. She definitely won’t want to talk about it.

I quite like erotica, but not read any MM. might give this Heated Rivalry a go and feedback!

Fantasies or what goes on in people's heads can be just that. It would, though, suggest to me that she is not as vanilla as you think she is. Getting mad or embarrassed may be her suppressing her true desires.

My wife is the quintessential PTA Mom, on the outside, but I always felt there was something more in the tank, which she always denied. It took me years to unlock her desires tied up in shame and what "nice girls" don't do.

If you take your time and handle this well, you could get the genie out of the bottle and be in for the ride of your life !!

There's no accounting for folk I suppose. Some people seem to like having aspects of their sexuality or personality that they don't share with others. Personally, I couldn't get over the popularity of Fifty Shades of Grey a few years ago but - I thought it was naff - but even woman I thought of as quite straitlaced appeared to be reading and enjoying it.