AIBU to be unsure after receiving butt plugs on a fifth date?

[SapphireSteel28]

I have been seeing a guy who I met online-we have had 5 dates, and had sex on the fourth-it was lovely! We are both in our fifties with grown up kids. On our fifth date he presented me with a gift-a set of three butt plugs. I don’t know what to make of it. I don’t know whether I should continue seeing him. In the heat of the moment I made out I was fine with it-but now I’m wondering whether I’m a bit too “vanilla”- do many women like butt plugs?!

Well that escalated quickly 😳

So that’s why there are three sizes. He also estimated what size I’d “need”. So it sounds that he’s going to be expecting anal sex on the sixth date. I’d better throw this one back. 🤯

Please get yourself a better sense of self esteem. Don't go along with what someone else wants because it's what they want.

Yep, he is basically grooming you for anal sex.
If you wanted maybe undeniable proof he is a complete twat you could text him to say you didnt really enjoy the sensation of butt plugs and wont be doing it again, or anything else related to anal and gauge his reaction.

Very weird. And I say this as someone who likes bum stuff, but only with a very trusted partner and after some in-depth discussion about such things.

Her new guy.. I took the liberty of getting you a similar gift for us to use next time. The guy in the store said it was the most popular type of strap on available.. Can't wait to try it out on you.
When is our next date?

Pre sumptuous - yes.
BUTT - if you don’t like anal or ass play - tell him to keep them and shrug it off .
The fucking morons on this site replying for you to get rid of him , duh - idiots .
Both of you are in your 50’s .
You are not in HS or University .
Just because he was bold to offer them doesn’t preclude judgement. He simply was trying to offer a different sexual experience. If it is not for you , let him know and continue to enjoy his company

Omg you let him use them already?
I'm concerned that you felt the need to comply with someone you barely know .
Yes he wants anal and you have given him the idea that you are happy to try it.
That's okay if you are ... But you don't seem so certain.
Either way he sounds like a gross entitled man. I can't believe the nerve of him

It's a bold move to produce them out of the blue. Definitely something that warrants a conversation first and does show how his mind works - and if that's not the same as yours, then it's better to find out sooner rather than later.

(I bought a man I was newly seeing some anal toys for our 5th date, coincidentally - but it had been a discussion we'd already had!)

Tell him to stick them where to sun don’t shine & say farewell.

Run forest run!!!!!!!

A bunch of flowers up there sounds extremely uncomfortable. Especially roses.

Think that’s the idea !!

I think it's quite concerning that you said you didn't know what to make of him giving you the butt plugs but that you let him use them on you, apparently without any discussion or exploring how you actually felt about anal sex.

Surely for your own welbeing and protection you shouldn't be just going along with what someone who is a virtual stranger to you wants without making sure it's really what you want too?

You need boundaries of steel with online dating. There are so many chancers, and this guy sounds like one of them. Of course he’s been “lovely” & charming, because you’re 4 dates in & he wants sex.

From your posts, it’s sounded like you’re grateful to have any male attention. Raise the bar! And protect yourself here - this guy sounds absolutely predatory/coercive.

Why is everyone assuming the butt plugs are for OP to use on herself? I'd have assumed he wanted her to use them on him. I had a boyfriend who loved a finger up the bum!

Having said that, and whoever they are for, it is very weird he bought them when you have never discussed anything around anal sex.

Sorry missed OP's update that they were for her.

Thanks for the explanation. I thought they were for women to use on men since we don’t have an appendage. Every days a school day on MN.

get him a cock cage and throw away the key !

Big props for you trying .
Thats honestly better than most who are
revolted or what not .
I give you lot of respect for trying as you never know what would be feeling great .

chin up and you will find someone you mesh with ❤️