AIBU to be unsure after receiving butt plugs on a fifth date?

[SapphireSteel28]

I have been seeing a guy who I met online-we have had 5 dates, and had sex on the fourth-it was lovely! We are both in our fifties with grown up kids. On our fifth date he presented me with a gift-a set of three butt plugs. I don’t know what to make of it. I don’t know whether I should continue seeing him. In the heat of the moment I made out I was fine with it-but now I’m wondering whether I’m a bit too “vanilla”- do many women like butt plugs?!

He’s expecting anal sex.

Do with that information what you want to.

I’d personally not be interested, and I’d be sending a ‘don’t think we’re compatible, let’s leave it there. Would you like the unwanted gift back?’

I'm in my 50's and if someone gave me these as a present, firstly they would have to explain what they were and what you needed to do with them, secondly when I stopped laughing and choking Id pass them back and say not for me thanks. I might tell them a bunch of flowers would have more appropriate !!!

Assuming this isn’t a joke, I’d drop him instantly.
Whatever happened to being given a bunch of flowers on a date?!

Ask him if he wants you to lube them up or go in dry when you use them on him

Actually scrap that ...he maybe into that and that's ok but not if you're not

Personally I would end the relationship over this. 5 dates in? It seems we are ‘looking for different things in this relationship’. Good luck etc etc bye bye and don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

Even assholes and domestic abusers can be lovely when they want to be. Not saying he's any of those but saying he might be putting on a show.

Weird thing as a present without previous chat regarding anal. Testing your boundaries?

Always do only what YOU feel happy with, not just to please someone else or the 'worry' of being 'vanilla'.

It doesn't mean he's not interested in you, but this is a huge misfire and presumption. I would be concerned that he was more interested in the opportunity to have sex rather than specifically sex with me IYSWIM. Are you going to tell him he missed the mark?

I’d give them back say “sorry not my thing I don’t think we are compatible “

Please can someone tell me wth hell they are! Sounds like something that'd be handy for acute diarrhea.

Wine stoppers maybe 😂

They are definitely butt plugs and I did let him use them on me-in the heat of the moment I thought I’d try it-it was okay, but I’m not keen to repeat it.

Reminds me of the old joke: 'This... is for the flowers!'
'Don't be silly, haven't you got a vase or something?'

I find this comment more bizarre then butt plugs as a gift…

Surely no one has multiple bottles of half drunk wine? I don’t think one lasts more than a few hours without being finished in my house 😆.

I like the idea of OP pretending that’s what she thinks they are intended for though - unless she has just received a gift of wine stoppers and assumed they are butt plugs.
That could lead to an embarrassing conversation where she tells her date she isn’t into bum fun and all he intended was that her half open bottle of Chablis was stored correctly!

You insert a butt plug in your anus and wear them to stretch the opening, they come in a variety of sizes that you can go up the scale in.

Its to make performing anal sex ‘easier’

So the first time you had sex with him he produced these?? Vomit 🤮

Oh I’m sorry I didn’t realise he pressured them to be used immediately.

Jeez, 2nd go at intimacy and it’s going down his avenue. He’s a single man in the age of peak pornography, he’s after performative sex.

If you like that thing, great - you’ve found a match.

It is not for me, and I think the fact you’ve started a mumsnet thread suggests it’s not really for you either, and you dont feel comfortable.

Why are you asking then since you'd let him use them on you. So you know they are for use on you.

6th date will be bondage gear, whatever floats your boat.

It was a joke, a bad one.

But since he's already stuck them up her bum, she knows they were for her ass not his.

Oh God how horrible ! Thanks though .

It’s more that every time I try and find one I can’t!! Probably because it’s such an irregular occurrence! Mostly dinner parties if we change wine during courses. Maybe we inadvertently throw them away and that’s why they disappear - same with teaspoons, have no idea where they go!!

Maybe I should try some butt plugs instead, depending on the design, I might be less careless with them!!

No-the second time.

It’s a no from me. I’d give him a miss.

I’d not have gone along with it to start with…I’d have said back up and told him to stick them up his own derrière ! 🤣

Same here. Who is expected to use them?

The are used to stretch the bumhole before anal sex. That's why there's three - you work your way up to the largest size. Then anal sex should be less painful. Great if that's your thing and you've already discussed with your partner. But awful as a gift after the 2nd time having sex and with no prior discussion.

The fucking presumption of him. 5 dates in and the second time you were having sex he produces butt plugs like they are the equivalent of a box of dairy milk. Just a little something for the new squeeze. There aren't enough words to describe how far I'd run from someone like that.

Still it worked so I suppose there is that.