Right, I need advice, and please don’t judge because I’m already mortified having to type this. DH’s birthday is next week, and he’s dropped this utterly bizarre bombshell about what he wants as his “gift.” Apparently, he’s got it into his head that he wants to brace yourselves tie me to the bed and tickle my feet. Yes, you read that correctly. Tickle. My. Feet. I’m sorry, but is this man unhinged?
We’ve been married for a while, and I pride myself on keeping things dignified in the bedroom (no need for sordid details, thank you). I’m all for a bit of romance and candles, a nice bottle of Pinot Grigio, that sort of thing but this is just… unhinged. He says it’s “fun” and “playful,” but I can’t shake the feeling it’s downright peculiar. I mean, what’s next, dressing up as clowns? I’m not that sort of woman.
I don’t want to crush his spirit, especially with his birthday coming up, but how do I politely tell him this is not happening without making him feel like I think he’s a complete oddball? (Even though, frankly, I do.) Has anyone else dealt with their DH coming up with something this outlandish? I’m at a loss, and I’m not about to indulge this nonsense just to keep the peace. AIBU to think this is just too weird?