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Vibrator use - do you tell?

20 replies

lauraUK1000 · 08/08/2025 19:27

One of my close girl friends asked me about this as she had wanted to try using a vibrator but her husband was not keen on the idea.

My husband has known for a long time that I have a vibrator (various over the years), it's no secret, but I don't usually tell him when or if I have used it. He is fine knowing I use on but doesn't need to know how often or when.

Does anyone specifically tell their partner or do you just keep this to yourself?

OP posts:
GigiAnnna · 08/08/2025 19:44

Sometimes. I don't actively hide it or go out my way to tell him. I might tell him if he asks what I'm up to whilst he's out. It's not a big deal.

girlfromyorkshire · 08/08/2025 22:03

I've has a vibrator since before we got together so he knows I have one and use it. He hasn't asked for ages so doesn't really know when or how often I use it.

MsDDxx · 08/08/2025 22:54

I do sometimes; if I want something out of telling him 😆 😉

Sometimes I just send him a photo or video instead.

Other times I don’t tell him.

He obviously knows I use one and has bought me some in the past.

NPET · 09/08/2025 00:13

I have never specifically said to my partner(s) that I use a vibrator but I've never denied it if they've mentioned. But I don't live with a man and there would be no need for them to ever see it or hear me using it. If I ever partnered with a guy who told me off for using one, I'd say goodbye... to him.

StarlightLady · 09/08/2025 07:41

Every woman should have at least one.

My first one was a secret birthday present from elder sister at 14 (40s now) and I’ve never been without. There have been a fair number of notches on the headboard since then and I’ve never hidden ownership or use. I travel a lot for work and a little bullet goes everywhere with me. The needs are totally different to 1:1 sex.

l recounted on these pages previously when l accidentally left a waterproof one on the bath-side when some friends came to stay. That was a slip up, but never mind.

As for anyone objecting to one, that’s a major control issue and they could take a jump. Preferably with me pushing them.

Lillibridge · 09/08/2025 09:03

My wife admitted that she sometimes masturbates with hers whilst thinking of her ex.

Kerkyra2024 · 09/08/2025 16:01

My boyfriend knows I have toys but I don't tell him when I use them

Sunshineandgrapefruit · 09/08/2025 22:40

Does your DH check in with you every time he has a wank or uses his toys? If not I don't see why you would need or want to report back every time you use yours- surely that would get a bit tiresome? Unless it's part of your regular foreplay I guess....

Fizzer5 · 11/08/2025 17:56

No I would not tell, he doesn't enquire. Perhaps that's the new definition of a Gentleman.
I don't discuss it with friends either. It's private, it is called; ME Time.

lucyandmike · 13/08/2025 22:34

We got together at college and I told my boyfriend at the time, now my husband, that I had already been thinking of trying a vibrator which he was actually very supportive of. I started to use a vibrator back then and have done ever since. He knows I use various toys very regularly but doesn't know when exactly.

MiddleAgedDread · 14/08/2025 15:59

My boyfriend bought me mine!!
intention was to use it together but wasn’t keen on the sensation so I save for when he’s not here

MisterT373 · 14/08/2025 20:43

Hide in the same place you keep your vacuum cleaner - he'll never find it

Smithey588 · 14/08/2025 22:52

We have a box of toys that is pretty much everything in ann summers, we make very good use of them together, including vibrators.

I couldn’t care less if she uses one when I’m not around, I think we have 4 in our box currently!

GoodPudding · 15/08/2025 06:56

Fizzer5 · 11/08/2025 17:56

No I would not tell, he doesn't enquire. Perhaps that's the new definition of a Gentleman.
I don't discuss it with friends either. It's private, it is called; ME Time.

You wouldn’t tell if he asked? Fair enough you just want to use it when alone, but why the secrecy? And that’s a very odd definition of gentleman that I think most would pass on!

Fizzer5 · 15/08/2025 07:54

@GoodPudding , there is a light-hearted part to this question. My man knows I have one. But he never enquires about how or when I use it. Nor do I start conversations about it. I assume most of us are the same (women, that is).
You might conclude that it doesn't often feature in my everyday life.

StarlightLady · 15/08/2025 08:38

Fizzer5 · 15/08/2025 07:54

@GoodPudding , there is a light-hearted part to this question. My man knows I have one. But he never enquires about how or when I use it. Nor do I start conversations about it. I assume most of us are the same (women, that is).
You might conclude that it doesn't often feature in my everyday life.

There have been a number of wine filled conversations about them on girl’s nights out over the years.

Mine more or less features in daily life but as l mentioned up thread no secrets no announcements on that score.

GigiAnnna · 15/08/2025 11:11

StarlightLady · 15/08/2025 08:38

There have been a number of wine filled conversations about them on girl’s nights out over the years.

Mine more or less features in daily life but as l mentioned up thread no secrets no announcements on that score.

Show quote history

I remember years ago a work colleague of mine had been to an Ann Summers party and was talking jokingly about the vibrators that she had seen. We then all got to talking about sex toys ( all women) , I said I had a rabbit and every one of them was like "Uuurgh do you actually USE it?" The colleague who went the party said she'd bought one as a joke and had no intention of using it. This was around 15 years ago. I do think now it's more normal to talk openly about them. I test and review them so have always been open about their use.

Gymbunny2025 · 15/08/2025 15:32

Great job @GigiAnnna 😂 how do you get into that?!

GigiAnnna · 15/08/2025 19:14

Gymbunny2025 · 15/08/2025 15:32

Great job @GigiAnnna 😂 how do you get into that?!

Just started leaving reviews on a site and they got in touch with me to ask did I want to become a tester in exchange for leaving reviews that meet certain requirements. Some of the stuff I've been sent has been crap but I've received some expensive vibrators for free, as (obviously) I get to keep them.

lucyandmike · 16/08/2025 19:46

StarlightLady · 15/08/2025 08:38

There have been a number of wine filled conversations about them on girl’s nights out over the years.

Mine more or less features in daily life but as l mentioned up thread no secrets no announcements on that score.

Show quote history

Same. It's funny that many of would deny even knowing what a vibrator was, but after a few drinks it turns out that most of us are very enthusiastic owners and users of them 😂

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