How do I as a man become at sex

[MyGiddyCrow]

I’m an older man, who for my entire life have only been with one woman. I’m now widowed nearly three years. Lately I was asked by a friend of my wife if I would be interested in being a f/ buddy. The first time we did it the woman was so disappointed. I’ve only ever made love to my wife and we were never adventurous. My wife never liked oral and it was always the missionary position. I’m so embarrassed that my lovemaking was so poor. I can’t really ask the same woman to help me become better. I’m actually thinking about not bothering with relationships as I’m so poor at the physical side of a relationship. Are there any books or videos that I can read or watch to gain more knowledge.

I think the key is you don’t ’make love’ with a FB. Why not look for a relationship and learn together what you both enjoy? Not sure what a book can teach you that a woman can’t (about her own body)?

(M here)

My advice? Pick yourself up, tell her you fancy her but you’ve only ever had the one lover and you know you’ve a lot to learn, but you reckon you two could have some fun together…..if she says thanks but no thanks, that’s ok and now you know your desire for sex is alive and kicking and women still fancy you!
Never stop looking till the lid goes on mate!

Thanks mate . Certainly destroyed any confidence I had, but your right try some books or videos to improve my understanding on sex

I love that last line 😂

I would go back the woman and explain that you were out of practice and see what she says, you never know may assist you !

Did she say she was dissapointed? What did she say? And what did you say back?

in my opinion, you can be great at sex with one person, and very average with another, it really depends if you are sexually compatible. I’m sure your late wife thought you were great in that department and best in your scenario just to be open and honest.

the first person I slept with after my implant, I know she thought I was shit. It hurt, she was the first I had been with since the implant and I felt like I was a virgin. Since then, I’ve had two relationships and I’ve learnt what they like and they have learnt what I like. I now have my mojo back and more - very few sexual encounters are earth shattering the first time and it can take time to adapt to a new partner.

I’m not sure if a book will help you much, ‘on the job experience’ always trumps anything else, but there are plenty of ‘how to’ videos on mainstream porn sites if you want to learn before you try.

Totally agree with this

She never actually said it was disappointing but her face gave it away. What I never said in my post was that my late wife never wanted to experiment and even oral was a no no. I’m certainly not blaming my wife. I wasn’t the most adventurous husband. We were happy with what we did.

I saw an online thing recently called OMG yes, I think it’s aimed at teaching women more about their bodies and sex, but it could perhaps also be useful to men wanting to learn more.

I’d be honest and tell that woman what you’ve told us, ask her if she’d be willing to teach you! She may say no, but it’d be worth a try!

Missionary clearly worked for you and your wife, and as you say, she took oral off the table so you became used to that kind of sex life. Many women enjoy oral, so worth starting off with that, and try and couple of positions. Many women like to feel a bit dominated in bed, ie man in charge, but not all. You could ask what they like.

There are a lot of men who are "a bit rusty" and "out of practice" with a new partner and dont perform as they would wish.

Have a conversation with your new friend and explain, she may or may not wish to take it further but then again she might enjoy teaching someone how to please her in ways she likes.😃

It sounds like there was too much pressure on you to "perform". You need to go slower and make it clear to your partner that you’re inexperienced.

I came out of a long relationship where I didn’t ever receive oral. I’ve been physical with one man since and I wonder how I could have gone so long without it. It’ll be the same process for you, rediscovering what you do and don’t like and how you respond to yourself and your partner. You’ve been through a lot, I’m sorry for your loss, take your time.

Thank you to everyone who gave me hope. I just need to start again and take my time.

Are you looking at having sex with anuther man .....you will love it😊

No thanks