How best to ask for more time spent on oral sex

[Zorro1885]

Just looking for some advice in how to encourage a sexual partner to engage more in oral sex.

For background, I've had very little of it. Was in a long marriage with my first partner and he never did it, not once.
I've had a little experience of it since divorce, but it's been a few minutes as part of foreplay and then they move on.
I find it pleasing and the thought of it turns me on. I think if someone is good and keeps going then it might help lead to an orgasm (of which I have only been able to achieve around 10 times with my ex using his hands - but can easily achieve it solo).
Mostly my partners now are very short term. 1or 2 ONS, and a few where we had a few dates first. Sadly I haven't had sex with any of them more than twice so if I want to have some oral fun I need a way to politely ask/make it clear on our first time.

"Don't Stop" usually works.

Be vocal about how much you're enjoying it & how much it arouses you.

A simple request 'I want (need) you to make me cum with your mouth' - should get a message across.

Or

If they stop & look like they're finishing put your hand on the back of his head & guide him back. Ask "where do you think you're going? I haven't finished with your mouth yet"

Just convey your desires & give feedback if he's in the right or wrong place.

Thanks. I think if I catch it at the right moment then @mrandmrsrobinson i guess it should work.
Some good tips @MisterT373 if I miss the moment (which I might as I mostly think I'm shit in bed so probably lack confidence it trying to take charge of what is happening)

How are you finding these casual partners? You could just be upfront before you meet them or before you have sex? Tell them you’re looking for oral sex only (then it will weed out the ones who see it as a just a hurdle to jump for piv)! Loads of men would be more than willing to do that for you

or as @mrandmrsrobinson I find saying don’t stop with my partner works a treat. He will sometimes tease me by moving away and I playfully push him back (probably better for an established relationship though). Again men love a woman who is in control of her pleasure.

@Gymbunny2025 a mix really of online and through socialising.
I'd rather a longer term partner, but they just aren't happening at the moment so I think it's silly to shut myself away until the "right" person appears.

DH really enjoys when I hold his head down there with my hand on the back of head…give that a try.

Simply say “l am not ready yet, back down you go”!

The easiest way to “keep them down there” is to find someone who really enjoys doing it. Easier said than done I know! But when a guy really enjoys it, it’s not easy to get them to stop. When my DH is down there, sometimes I ask him to come back up because I want to do something different and he shakes his head and keeps going.

Some guys don’t like doing it (as is their right, just like women with BJs) but plenty of them do. Hopefully the next one will be the one 🤞

@Zorro1885 how about dripping some some flavorable treats, his favourite tipple🥃🍾, 🍷, melted chocolate ….
dont be shy to tell him to continue 😛and make him 👅 your sweet honeyjuice flowing, ofc at same time both are free to use your fingers !!👍🏿

Anything containing sugar is likely to upset the delicate PH balance of the vulva and should be avoided. She can be a wonderful best friend but a very fussy one and delicate. Treat her well for a lifetime of joy.

I'm pretty confident if I spoke to DW like that, she would bite the tip straight off

😂

I’d find it a turn on if my DH said that to me, knowing he was enjoying it so much he wanted me to keep going.

I guess you need to know your audience!

Ooh no I would lurve that! But probably one for an established relationship not a ONS!

I’m afraid l don’t understand why if it’s said nicely. Expressing wants and needs is the key to a happy and healthy personal life.

At the risk of being called names, men often do want to move on too quickly. I don’t see communicating about what you a ready for is a bad thing. I tend to say when l’m ready for oral too. Yep, that can happen too fast as well.

when she see's it as a chore anyway, it would be the equivalent of pointing out an area missed with the vacuum

Give as well as take and neither will want it to stop!

I give more than I take my friend

Fair enough 😂

tbf I’m not sure I’d want anyone going down on me that saw it as a chore anyway. I wouldn’t be able to relax

As I'm regularly reminded, 'it's called a job for a reason' 😕

@yorkshireteabagman - I don’t want to appear rude or dismissive but it sounds as if passion has gone awol.

i have to agree. I’d be really upset if I was told my pleasure was a chore 😔

In addition, at times a little guidance is required from the receiving end.

erm not entirely true no, we sort each other out 3 times a week! But I would say she's not an overly sexual person, lacks confidence and struggles to talk about sex....hence I somehow ended up here. Specifically on the subject in question, she very much dislikes cum and without the details, finds things oral a little challenging. I think whilst she finds it physically attractive, she probably has the same view as @Gymbunny2025 on what makes a 'bad bj penis' 😩.
We're fine anyway don't worry! It's a weekly occurance but you can't really make someone 'love it' can you. I don't think she is uncommon reading other threads

Stop/Go signs for bedroom use? Or maybe those paddles that are used to marshall planes around on airfields?

"we sort each other out 3 times a week! But I would say she's not an overly sexual person,"

Are you sure?!?!