How best to ask for more time spent on oral sex

[Zorro1885]

Just looking for some advice in how to encourage a sexual partner to engage more in oral sex.

For background, I've had very little of it. Was in a long marriage with my first partner and he never did it, not once.
I've had a little experience of it since divorce, but it's been a few minutes as part of foreplay and then they move on.
I find it pleasing and the thought of it turns me on. I think if someone is good and keeps going then it might help lead to an orgasm (of which I have only been able to achieve around 10 times with my ex using his hands - but can easily achieve it solo).
Mostly my partners now are very short term. 1or 2 ONS, and a few where we had a few dates first. Sadly I haven't had sex with any of them more than twice so if I want to have some oral fun I need a way to politely ask/make it clear on our first time.

My partner recently returned from a three week holiday. No sooner was he through the front door than we were in bed and he went down on me. His tongue and lips knew exactly what to do it was delightful. I gently held his head in place while he ate me. After I had climaxed I let his head go and he said I tasted wonderful. Needless to say oral sex is a must in our sex life.

I seem to only be able to get a ONS, so definitely needs to work on the first instance. At the moment it just feels more like I'm keeping the area from getting dusty ever few months and not getting the pleasure I would like.
Don't get me wrong, I like the touching and kissing, but the actual sex bit I seem to get the raw end of the deal so need some nice ways to communicate it to someone I don't know well.

I can hope that the next one will be more dates and then sex, and maybe stays, but my prior few years is more meet, sex and then I'm back searching for 6 months haha.

@DreamyGloucesterGirl I'd say it feels like you are super lucky, but I'm hoping that I've just been unlucky so far and my situation isn't the norm as I expect otherwise it's only the ones who don't do it that are left on the heap.

@ThatAquaSnail yep, I mean I know her best! We meet in the middle of sex drives. I wouldn't call once a week overly sexual. Anyway's we are fine, but to the point I'm just agreeing that I would like more time spent on oral sex, I do ask and give my preference but it's not something which changes

This thread reminds me of Aubrey Plaza's line in "Dirty Grandpa" which she says to Robert de Niro

"If you're gonna die while you're eating me out, I want your last breath to be in my pussy."

Thanks for your comment @Zorro1885. At my current age and finding a partner who likes oral is wonderful. I’m no spring chicken but the sex with my new partner is terrific. I think back at what I have missed over my past life. Considering he is 10 years my senior I cannot leave him alone. As you say I am lucky but since my husband died it's taken five years to find him. All I can say is keep looking he's out there waiting.

I’m similar to this in that if I ask my DH to make me cum, he is really happy to take me there and made me delirious…and doesn’t take long feeling his tongue on my lips and clit. Perhaps just whisper to him how excited you would be if he could go there and make you cum…you might be surprised at his wish to make you happy, but then respond in kind

Oh I love to return the favour. I'm a people pleaser in reality so hearing how much a man is enjoying it is great for my ego haha

Doesn’t sound like you’re shit in bed 😉

I think you might just need a bit of confidence to clearly ask for what YOU want too. Men honestly do love that. Just fake it til you make it! The confidence that is, not the orgasms 😂

😂 Yeah, I try not to fake anything, I learned the hard way on that one.

What happened?!

It was during my marriage and I just had to slowly phase it out as I got in too deep. Probably added to a lot of issues going forwards in my sexual confidence.
Definitely advise people to be open and honest from the start.

Tell them you can't believe how good they are at it and that you'd love them to continue - or maybe suggest moving on to 69.

69 can be dangerous, l clench my teeth at orgasm, so seriously not recommended here!

Just have to say, my partner went down on me this morning. He has a magic tongue. When I began to climax his fingers took over. What an orgasm. Whats more he likes to eat me. Sorry if I appear to be gloating, I don’t intend to be. But I hadn’t had oral sex until I met him now it's so enjoyable and I’m in my 60’s.

Wow, midweek morning and 60s…is that as you are retired? How lucky are you

Wow that’s fabulous to hear! I’m in my 40s with my husband of 20 years - being selfless in bed is a very attractive trait. We both enjoy a lot of oral 😊 long may it continue x

@Namechangednorth @WingingItAgainHelp Thank you for your comments. No I still work, he’s retired. It’s a pity I had to wait until my 60’s to discover oral sex. I think back on all those years when sex was for procreation. Now I feel free to explore and enjoy sex. All I can say is I have found a partner who enjoys and appreciates me. I feel so sorry for ladies who don’t have this kind of relationship.

Have you got some catching up to do.

My husband adores giving me oral until I climax. He will stay there until I have, if he did try to stop, I'd push him back down, luckily he enjoys pleasuring me.

I think this is normal. This is what we all deserve!

@StarlightLady yes unfortunately. But my partner should be able to help me make up for lost time 😘

To qoute a friend, "if he ain't licking it, he ain't dicking it". Crude, but relevant.

This is very true but also interspersed with gently sucking the clit. However, all this is dependent on me being fully waxed or shaved as DH really doesn’t like hair there but it does also make me feel incredibly sensitive as well

on the subject of hair, does facial hair affect enjoyment? My DW complains probably 50% of the time about my facial hair, stopping me during the act because of the irritation. It's either too short like sand paper, or took long and irritation (1-3mm stuble I would say). Given that probably half of blokes have facial hair, is this a global problem or just an issue in my bedroom?! I like doing it so it's frustrating, but I'm not willing to sacrifice my face