To go to a sex club with DH?

[ChangeMyNameChangeMyNameee]

Name changed but long time mnetter.

Me and DH have long talked about opening up our marriage. We've now got the kids away at the in-laws for a few nights and considering going to a swingers club tomorrow night. We've discussed hard rules etc beforehand and tbh with it being the first time we might just be boring and have a few drinks and come home but wondering if anyone's got any experiences or tips?

They aren't illegal. Maybe the one that allegedly got 'raided' was selling booze without a licence or something.

Lol

There are very few, if any, places like mumsnet.

The sex board attracts pervs. MNHQ predicted that it would and they regularly delete pervy posts, and unfortunately leave many up too. Men regularly pretend to be women, often caught out because they swap sexes between posts. They send unwanted PMs. Hardly polite. Others will be ‘polite’ because they don’t want to get deleted, but sometimes their creepiness shows in their posts, There is a thread somewhere on the board which discussed the pervs and the sorts of things they post. The board has a reputation for it, made known to many more posters after the whole sex hook up thread.

Thank you to everyone who's posted helpfully. It was me who first mentioned it to DH, and we've been discussing over the course of a year so hoping to ensure both are happy before going ahead.

Without getting into all the judgey assumptions in this thread, if you have a strong relationship and want to go for it, then do. My top tip, go the first time with a view just to see what it's all about. Watch and take it in like a theater show 😀, or just play with each other even if in a private room. Then talk about it after and go from there. Maybe you'll never go again, but curiosity will be settled.

p.s going to a sex club doesn't say anything about your relationship state other than you're strong and open minded. I'd say those saying "Aren't you worried about you/your man falling for someone in a club" should maybe take a look at their own relationship if they think that's all it would take for them or their partner to leave 😂

'The sex board attracts pervs'

Mumsnet attracts trolls. I've seen far more polite posters on the sex board than on aibu. Just report anything offensive as you would do with any post.

Folk must unclench and allow grown ups to discuss sexual issues if they so wish, as long as posting within TGs.

What’s not logical about my post? You sound a bit naive tbh.

I'm really not naive. The logical inconsistency is saying that perv trolls hang about on the sex board to violate women who would be upset to find out they were talking to a perv troll. It's the sex board. If you're the type of person who doesn't want to accidentally discuss sex with a man/troll/pervert on the internet then why would you be posting about sex on the mumsnet sex board?

I've never been to one, but my friend did and so did her sister (separate times).

Her sister left after an hour as she had a bit of a panic, even though she was keen to go the reality was too much for her.

When my friend went she didn't do anything with anyone the first time but enjoyed it and said that the most important thing for her was to go with zero expectations.

Some women, who don’t know what the sex board is like, may post a thread on it asking for advice, thinking it’s similar to the rest of mumsnet. It couldn’t be more different though.

Ignore all the daft posts OP-
I visited a swinging establishment, perfectly legal, met loads of really interesting people. Lots of swinger hobbyists, who had good ground rules in their relationships (ie no emotional connections were to be made with their 'playmates'), and both stuck to this.

There was absolutely no pressure to join in, and I didn't.
Had a lot of respect for the people I met, they were cool, just had a different hobby set than others.
I'd just go along somewhere, just have a drink at the bar, enjoy, no pressure.

It will be 32 years this year.

32 years this year.

Condider if it’s a dress down club. This means that on entry, you have to strip to lingerie or a towel. The reason I mention this is, as it’s your first time, this type of club can be daunting.

Also remember that you can sit in the bar, chat to no one and just watch the world go by, if that’s all you want. If you want recommendations for clubs message me. I’ve been to a lot.

While open relationships are not my thing at all I think that the fact you have discussed this in depth and set each others hard no's is good. I also think it's a great idea to just visit for a few drinks until you are more comfortable.